Slacktory

Posts Tagged “Star Wars”

  1. Jurassic Park banner

    Alternate Endings to Famous Film Scenes

    In life our dialogue never goes exactly like we planned. But in the movies cool characters get to say cool things all the time. Here are ten movies that would have had totally different outcomes if the dialogue was more like real life.

    The Lion King

    See nine more unexpected movie scenes. »

  2. Obiwan Kenobi vs Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Obiwan Kenobi Arrested, Article Writes Self

    To the delight of people like me — who enjoy making easy pop-culture references for a living — a 37-year-old man named “Obiwan [sic] Kenobi” was arrested in Rosedale, California, in connection with a multi-car hit-and-run accident. Man, the Force is so not with this guy, amirite? …Which is about the quality-level of jokes that have been made so far by other news outlets, like, for example, CBS News, which says:

    The force is not strong with this one.

    Or there’s Time Magazine, which says:

    The Force Is So Not With ‘Obiwan Kenobi’ Right Now.

    Clever! We sense a great disturbance in the news cycle, as though a million bad Star Wars references suddenly cried out and were suddenly not silenced. There you go. That should work.

    Read the story of a pizza waiter and too many Star Wars references. »

  3. Star Wars Shakespeare poster

    Star Wars, As Written by William Shakespeare

    Though George Lucas claims that his 1977 film Star Wars is entirely original, based merely on his memories of the science fiction serials of his youth, new scholarly research has revealed the truth. Lucas was merely plagiarizing a much older work, a lost play by William Shakespeare. Shocking. Absolutely shocking.

    Here, for the first time, I present selected excerpts from THE WAR OF THE STARRES. Enjoy:

    ♦   ♦   ♦   ♦   ♦

    ___

    THE WAR OF THE STARRES

    OR,

    A SUDDEN HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL

    ___

    by Wm. Shakespeare

    At the pleafure of her moft rightous maj. Queen Elisabeth

    Anno domini 1604

    ♦   ♦   ♦

     

    ACT 1

    SCENE 1. INTERIOR. REBEL BLOCKADE RUNNER. HALLWAY.

    Her highness Princess Leia Organa is led by a troupe of Stormtroopers. On her way, she encounters Sir Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith.

    Leia: ‘Pon my soul! Lord Vader. I should have known’it.

    Vader: The very one stands before you. Verily, thou hast said it.

    Leia: Only you would be so bold, despised sir, as to enter the Blockade Runner Senatorial. In truth, the Senate will not hear of it! I am in their service, on a mission of greatest import–

    Vader: Spare me your meaningless persiflage, your highness! I know the truth, I will have it from you!

    Leia: [Aside] I am afeared that he will come to it, by and by–

    Vader: You are a member of that foul rabble, those most accursed wretches. You know of whom I speak! Thou art a member of the Rebel Alliance!

    Leia: God’s wounds!

    Vader: Thou art a traitor. Guards, do your duty!

    Leia: I am abashed, yet remain unbowed.

    The Stormtroopers lead her away in chains…

    Read the rest of the Bard’s Wars! Danger, romance and murder most foul await! »

  4. Texas Chainsaw Massacre - American Apparel banner

    16 Missed Opportunities for Product Placement

    Inspired by this Reddit post, I found other movies and TV shows that could have cashed in with perfect ads. Maybe they can use these in the next DVD release.

    Game of Thrones

     

    The Hunger Games

    See 14 more beautiful product placement opportunities, including Precious, Avatar, and Shame. »

  5. Big Lebowski There Will Be Blood

    The Movie Quote Chain Game

    I made up this game where you quote one movie on the screencap of another, until you loop back to the movie you started with.

    We started with The Big Lebowski above, and we’ll end with it.

    Follow the chain. »

  6. Michael Bluth banner

    Famous Characters Play “What People Think I Do”

    You know why everyone hates the “What people think I do” meme? Because they’re about real people’s boring lives.

    But Darth Vader, Michael Bluth from Arrested Development, GLaDOS from Portal, Jeff Winger from Community, Leonard Shelby from Memento, Arthur Dent from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and Alex from A Clockwork Orange have fascinating lives, and I just made “What people think I do” galleries for all of them.

    Finally, see some entertaining ‘What I do’ pics. »

  7. I am the 2 percent

    The Best “We Are the 99 Percent” Parody Pictures

    I knew I needed to make a parody of the powerful but super-serious blog We Are the 99 Percent. My first thought was some kind of “100%” movement that only described itself in universal turns. Instead I chose milk (above).

    There are, of course, many other jokes to make here.

    And they have been made. »

  8. Big Lebowski Coenfographic

    I Love Charts’ Top Ten Charts About Movies

    Jason Oberholtzer, editor of I Love Charts, guest-posts:

    Nerds love movies. Nerds love charts. Nerds love combining their loves (bacon unicorns, zombie narwhals). Thus, we get tons of charts about movies at I Love Charts. Here are ten of my favorites.

    Take time to notice the attention to detail, specificity and minutiae. What other population would take the time to study and reproduce every pair of glasses worn by Woody Allen on film, to compare the great trilogies in cinematic history, or to wonder about the power dynamics of Morgan Freeman vis-à-vis himself? Who else would calculate the potential risks of light saber ownership or how Ikea would build a DeLorean?

    And finally, who other than the nerds would be self-aware enough to plot their own progression towards full-blown movie geeks? Nerds, geeks, dweebs and other deminerds, I salute you.

    See all ten charts. »

  9. Famous Quotes as if Spoken in Proper English

    Famous Movie Quotes as if Spoken by a Proper Englishman

    Salutations, internet ne’erdowells. Since I was a lad, I have enjoyed fine cinema. In those days, films were written and performed properly. With a dignified vocabulary and diligent diction.

    Alas, those days have gone the way of the dodo. Class and manners have been usurped by poorly constructed idioms and distasteful vulgarity. I cannot view a picture film without my ears being molested by the horrendous mangling of the English language.

    Therefore I have put my quill to parchment and rewritten some of the most famed movie quotations as a proper Englishman would have uttered them. I think you’ll see that they are much improved upon.

    Quite. »

  10. Catan cupcakes

    I Only Know the Super Bowl, Star Wars and Settlers of Catan Through Cupcakes

    For the past six-plus years, I’ve been blogging about cupcakes at Cupcakes Take the Cake. We’ve posted over 12,000 times about this much-loved (and hated) dessert. One of the coolest things about living in cupcake land is that I’ve found cupcakes to be an entrée into worlds I know little to nothing about. There are all sorts of subcultures that I know only through cupcakes:

    Inside: Loads of cupcakes doing things cupcakes don’t normally do. »

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