Slacktory

Posts Tagged “spam”

  1. Indiegogo terrible project woman

    Shut down all the “your Kickstarter sucks” blogs, I found the worst project in the world

    While checking my Facebook spam, I saw someone’s pitch for an Indiegogo project called “StarLikeMe”. The idea: What if one website did everything all the biggest websites do? What if this site didn’t combine the existing sites, but by replicating the systems that took collective billions of dollars to build and maintain, all for twenty grand?

    Do you want to blog (Tumblr); tweet (Twitter); post a message for a friend (Facebook); upload a video (YouTube); store photos (Flicker); edit and share photos (Instagram); have a pin-board (Pinterest)? All of these features and more will be available just as you know them on these other sites. This is a site for all of us to use and enjoy and will provide the latest features of all the major sites.”

    What if the pitch video for that website was a few kids, a rapper, and a hot blonde all shouting “Star Like Me, where the stars shine!” And then a lady explains how inconvenient multiple websites are? And it’s all in Eastern European accents, the official accent of sounding shady as fuck?

    Oh it is. It’s even shoddily edited and poorly rehearsed. »

  2. spam-email-good-man

    The weirdest spam email wants love and commitment, not boners

    If there’s one thing we all know about spam emails, it’s this: Spam robots want to talk about your wiener. They want to sell pills for your wiener, or they want to touch your wiener and you should really click through to their profile; they’re just so lonely and a good wiener touch is all they want.

    For over a decade, spam emails have focused on sex and hookups and porn and V 1 A G R A, all in an attempt to speak to your most basic carnal desires. That’s all I thought they ever did.

    At least I thought that up until yesterday, when I finally got a mature spam email.

    Check out how unhorny this spam robot sounded. »

  3. Las Vegas keychain

    I Think the Credit Card Rewards Guy Is Having Some Issues

    Dear Valued Customer,

    It’s time to activate your new 5% cash back categories!

    Earn 5% cash back on up to $2,000 spent on flights and hotel rooms from November 1 through December 31, 2011.

    Why not splurge on a trip to Vegas with some old friends? That’s what we would do!

    For Terms and Conditions about this offer, please visit www.creditcard.com/cashback.

    ————————

    Dear Valued Customer,

    It’s time to activate your new 5% cash back categories!

    Earn 5% cash back on up to $2,000 spent on marriage counselors and takeout Chinese food from January 1 through February 29, 2012.

    It may have been a mistake Instagramming the pictures from your trip, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy some delicious General Tso’s!

    For Terms and Conditions about this offer, please visit www.creditcard.com/cashback.

    Read the rest of Credit Card Rewards Guy’s story. »

  4. Not really Mobutu

    Let Me Tell You About That Spammer You Just Deleted

    Mobutu is Congolese. He has an MBA from Wharton and a Master’s in Computer Science from MIT. He’s been working tirelessly for a decade to reinvigorate the economy and the people of his native land. And he’s the reason an email about Cialis just beat your spam filter.

    Let me tell you what you just did. You monster. »

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