A Slacktory original by Aaron Nevins.
Posts Tagged Santa Claus
You know Dasher and Dancer, Santa and Jesus, Rudolph and Frosty and Yukon Cornelius. But do you recall any substantial detail about Mrs. Claus at all?
As the mere default female of the Christmas bunch, Mrs. Claus is vaguely defined and her role in the holiday season seems completely inconsequential. For some reason, Christmas is like the ultimate sausage fest. There are about two dozen different characters associated with the holiday season and almost all of them carry a Y chromosome. I mean, even your average Nativity Scene has more sheep than women.
The only concrete fact that we know about Mrs. Claus is that she’s Santa’s wife. She has no children, no job and no use for the immortality that was bestowed upon her. Unless she was already immortal to begin with. Or maybe she’s not immortal and Mrs. Claus is just a title given to whomever Santa is exclusively banging at the time. Or maybe she’s just Santa Claus in drag.
‘Tis the season to be bitter. Scumbag Santa is an advice animal meme that reveals Santa Claus for the asshole he is.
The meme was first posted 3 months ago on Reddit, where Christmas (among other things) comes early:
After poring over pages of this meme, I learned something about you guys. You are still angry at Santa for making out with your mom and eating your cookies, you never got that really cool present you asked for, you think Santa is too judgmental and is engaged in class warfare, and you think jokes about Santa’s sack are hilarious.
Here are the top Quickmeme Scumbag Santas, followed by seven of my own.