Posts Tagged “productivity”

  1. Marla on productivity

    Marla the Shitty Advice Columnist: Productivity

    Hey guys I’m back with some advice. Sorry I’ve been MIA…I’ve been out lookin’ for love in all the wrong places again. I tried online dating for the eleventh time and let’s just say I’m still singlin and minglin. I met some really crazy dudes who were only lookin for one thing if you know what I mean and what I mean is they were lookin’ for my vagina.

    Well last time I talked about food and this time I’m talkin about productivity. I answered some new questions and hope that you leave a question about travel for me in the comments section below for next time or else Slacktory will fire me and I won’t be able to pay my cable bill which won’t even matter cuz I steal cable from my neighbors so take that Slacktory lol jk.

    Dear Marla,

    Why can’t I ever pay attention when I watch movies?

    That Person That Always Asks Questions During Movies

    See Marla’s answer, and four more questions. »

  2. dating spreadsheet

    Other Ways “Creepy Finance Guy” Tracked His Dates

    Did you hear about the New York finance guy who tracked his dating life with an Excel spreadsheet? There’s some argument over whether he’s creepy or just anal. Before you decide, consider his other date-tracking methods:

    • Evernote scrapbook of lipstick-printed napkins
    • Pinterest board for each date’s dream wedding
    • Powerpoint presentation on why third base is a no-brainer
    • Basecamp for wingmen (pro account)
    • MS Paint annotations of photos
    • Geni family tree of possible remote relations based on discreetly obtained hair samples
    • Copy of Getting Chicks Done
  3. David Allen in shutter shades

    Get Your Shit Together: The Bro’s Guide to Getting Things Done

    “Getting Things Done” is the internet’s favorite productivity system — its rabid devotees have filled the internet with suggestions for implementing it. But it’s complicated as fuck — so complicated its inventor David Allen wrote an entire book about making it work. Yikes.

    So if you’ve heard all about it but aren’t sure how it works or don’t want to take the plunge quite yet, we’ve, uh, simplified it for you a bit. It’s the gist of Getting Things Done distilled into three thousand words.

    Let me guess. Your shit is a mess and you have no idea where you put that you’re looking for, and quite frankly why are you even looking for it, again? Yeah, that sounds about right these days. Look, don’t feel bad. I get it! I really do. We live in the future, and in the future, everything is complicated and you’ve got a million things going on.

    Back in the day, man, you only had to worry about, like, five things: dinner, warmth, shelter, safety and the business, if you know what I mean. Ah, the good ol’ days, amirite?

    Now that we’re in the just okay new days, you have to be fucking organized for success – you can’t just go at it all willy-nilly and hope for shit to work out in your favor. I mean, you could do that, but you know that one guy from high school who is really famous? Yeah, he didn’t do that. Don’t believe me? Just, uh… just take a look at your life. Yeah, you know how you’re always like, “Oh shit I have to take care of that thing! Right now! That I forgot about! Or I’m fucked!” or how you have tons of lists just lying around, fucking taunting you? Mmmhmmm.

    I’m here to help. We’re going to get your shit back on track, which brings us to the system you’ve heard so goddamn much about. Here’s how to fix that problem for good.

    All right, let’s get your shit together. »

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