If these tips can’t get you laid, then any other tips probably still can.
Posts Tagged pickup lines
Okc_ebooks creator Sam Kriss made a fake female profile on the dating site OkCupid, through which he responds to unsolicited messages from men with quotes from @horse_ebooks, the surreal Twitter bot that streams nonsensical snippets of text. The result: dozens of conversations from horny men desperately vying to have sex with a robot.
That men on dating websites are desperate enough to forge conversations with aleatory internet patter is not in itself surprising. For women who receive an abundance of unsolicited messages from men, it is effortless to reject a would-be suitor. There is no need to give an “I have a boyfriend” or even a “no.” Thus, to some men, any response at all from a woman is encouragement enough to try to keep the conversation going, even if that response is “Almost immediately Together Turned immediately Immediately Immediately Immediately Immediately Immediately Immediately Immediately.”
Stupid romantic gestures are something of a hot topic lately. There was the guy who faked his own death to propose to his girlfriend, and the guy who almost died trying to mail himself to her. While these are obviously extreme cases, the mentality behind them is by no means unique. Redditor blanket_lava asked “Women of Reddit, what is the stupidest thing a guy did to impress you?”
She later clarified a bit, saying, “Not stupidly cute or stupidly sweet, just plain stupid.”
Hazywakeup kicks things off with a real winner:
A few months ago a guy sat across from me on a bus, obviously trying to flash some philosophy book he was reading at me in hopes that I’d comment on it. When I didn’t bite, he came right out with, “You know, I’m technically classified as emotionally disturbed.”
Myuriko felt like she was watching Planet Earth:
Started talking about salsa dancing and really playing up his Latino heritage. When he started shuffling around to show me his moves (I did not ask him to, he just started dancing) I felt like I was on some nature channel documentary.
David Attenborough, whispering, “The male specimen begins his courtship ritual with braggadocio based on racial stereotyping, in an attempt to emphasize his sexual prowess. And now the mating dance begins… No.. No, she’s not buying it. He will return to the herd, unsuccessful, for today.”
This guy is pretty hot, right? That’s the reason he got girls’ numbers by reciting the chorus of “Call Me Maybe”, right? This isn’t something all guys could do? Is it?
Is… is this a secret code guys have accidentally discovered? Will the girls have sex with you if you tell them “Tonight, we are young, so let’s set the world on fire”?
“I’m sorry, I look ridiculous. No, no, I just got too skinny for this belt is all… Ha, you say that but it actually can be annoying to be too skinny.”
“’Where is Golden State?’ It’s all around us. It’s like… a state of mind. Namaste.”
“Well why don’t you stare back at them? What’s so normal about wearing flannel and jeans, huh? You think you’re smaaaht or somethin’? No, this is my nahmal accahnt!”
“It’s for self-defense. I’m still kind of getting over my ex.”