Posts Tagged people being shitty on the Internet
The internet’s pretty much the best thing ever. It’s where these words live. (The words you’re reading!) But wow, some people do not understand it. Or worse: they do, and they’re jerks about it.
Maybe these people have disguised a banner ad as a software download link (or worse: a “close this window” link), or they’ve designed a restaurant website so it auto-plays a crazy jazz song while you just try to find the restaurant menu.
Which is why we should send them to a farm.
Not, like, a death farm! Nothing like that. Just a nice farm out in the country where they can hang out in the sunshine and pick crops and not ruin the goddamn internet for everyone for fuck’s sake.
Imagine this: A business man who embedded a MIDI on his corporate website back in 2009 carries a bag of corn to a barn. He passes a woman who insisted her company’s website have a Flash intro, and she’s driving a tractor and having a great time. She waves at a herd of SEO guys, and they all wave back! They’re painting a barn or doing something equally farm-y, and they’re just having a blast. Look at ‘em, wiping their sweaty foreheads with their power ties. They are super happy at this farm I invented for internet jerks.
Has your phone started receiving text messages containing fun, informative cat facts from an unknown number? Have you found yourself unable to unsubscribe, and the cat facts just keep on coming? Then you may be someone’s dumb friend or relative in the latest prank to hit the internet.
The prank got popular last week when someone posted a series of phone screenshots to Reddit with the title, “So my little cousin posted on FB that he was bored and gave everyone his new phone number…”