Slacktory

Posts Tagged “open letter”

  1. restaurant Halloween decorations

    Dear restaurants: Stop fugging yourselves up for Halloween

    Restaurants! I want to eat in you! So stop making it hard to do so by dangling cobwebs from the ceiling.

    I’m not against Halloween decorations. But, like, just do them the way you do Christmas decorations, right? Like, still cognizant that people are eating food near them?

    Pumpkins are fine. Skeletons and witches are fine; I’m not thrilled about them but at least they’re out of context enough to be tolerable. They are very clearly decorations.

    But jesus, what’s with the cobwebs? »

  2. Josh Fonner

    The Potato Letters: Josh Fonner Writes to “I Can Count to Potato” Victim

    Slacktory’s Brad O’Farrell wrote about Heidi Crowter, the girl whose picture was used in the “I can count to potato” meme, and whom the Sun recently irresponsibly publicized. I asked Josh Fonner, who gave several interviews this year about being used in two mean “fat” memes, to write some advice from one meme victim to another.

    We post a lot of satire here, but the following is real. Josh wrote one open letter to comfort Heidi, then chastised her mother in another. His opinions are, of course, his own.

    Dear Heidi,

    You don’t know me, but we have something in common. We’ve both been made fun of by a lot of mean people on the internet. I just wanted to write you a short letter to try to cheer you up. I understand you’re probably sad and upset about what you’ve seen in the past few days. Don’t let it get you down. I’ve had my pictures stolen and used in hurtful ways too, but the GREAT part of it is, none of these people have EVER made fun of me in real life. My advice to you Heidi, if this meme hurts you, live your life like you never found out about it. People will forget it ever happened. Just be the lovely, kind, gentle hearted person I’m sure you are, and everything will work itself out. Because “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Keep your chin up. This will all die down soon enough. It always does.

    Love,
    Josh

    Josh has harsher words for Heidi’s mother. »

  3. Blake Boston with Annoying Facebook Girl

    Scumbag Steve’s Advice for Annoying Facebook Girl

    This is really, truly, actually Blake Boston, the guy from Scumbag Steve. After many emails, I met him in person at a Slacktory-sponsored Halloween party this year. I asked him to write a letter of advice to Jess, the girl who may have just discovered she’s Annoying Facebook Girl. I lightly edited it for grammar at his request.

    Blake is wonderfully introspective about the emotions of this specifically modern situation. He’s… he’s an actual advice meme.

    Dear Annoying Facebook Girl, it’s me Blake. You may know me as Scumbag Steve. Or not, if you’re not on the internet much.

    I heard you just found out that your pics been all over the internet. Shocking huh? Google yourself, but have a friend with you for support.

    Steve’s advice: Make your peace with this, because it’s not going away. »

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