Bozarking was a mysterious Reddit user known for his elaborate sexual fantasies. This is his story.
Reddit novelty accounts that illustrate comments are a genre, we’ve pointed that out. Today’s account, AKineticTypographer, has posted six kinetic-typography GIFs in twelve hours, each one featuring a comment in a different popular Reddit thread. Here’s their best work so far.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that Lego are badass. Unless you step on them. However in my book that qualifies them as weapons, which technically ups their badass quotient. Therefore it stands to reason that the Reddit novelty account ICanLegoThat is one of the coolest around, and the pictures we’ve gathered here prove it’s true.
ICanLegoThat has Lego-fied redditor’s usernames and re-created iconic movie scenes, but more often than not he simply drops into unsuspecting threads and posts Lego interpretations of the comments that strike his fancy. His collection of bricks and minifigs is awe-inspiring, and he has a knack for using minimal presentation to convey a story. Most of his collection is made up of sets he had as a child, and while he estimates that it includes over 30,000 pieces, he says he tears down after each build is photographed, as he needs the pieces for new projects.
Account owner Alex Eylar is not a literal pro (he works in the film business), but he knows his stuff. When I asked him for the oddest Lego fact he knows, he threw down:
Only two actors have appeared as two different characters in Lego sets. One is Harrison Ford, in the Star Wars and Indiana Jones sets. The other is Alfred Molina, oddly enough, as Doc Ock in the Spider-Man sets, and as Indy’s guide in the Raiders of the Lost Ark set.
Knows bricks, knows how to use them. One look at his Flickr stream and you’ll realize how insanely talented he is.
MS_Paint_Guy just started yesterday, and he’s still pretty underground. It probably takes ages to sketch this stuff in MS Paint, but it all comes out shittier than Shitty_Watercolor. And “make it look shitty” is classic internet aesthetic. I’m guessing he gets “noticed” on Reddit later this week, on the blogs by Monday, has his own subreddit next Friday, a week later he starts doing all of Slacktory’s above-headline images. What’s with those things?
Let’s see MS_Paint_Guy’s best hits so far. There… there are two. Two of four total pictures.
“Text-based site” Twitter accounts are is the next “Shit People Say”. In a week you’ll be able to read the entire internet on one Twitter list.
@PicturelessPinterest was the novelty Twitter account that inspired @TextBasedTumblr and the rest of this fad. It came first, and it’s still pretty great, but here’s who’s sprung up most recently in this new trend of characterizing websites with little text posts:
So far, the cleverest account. At first it was realistic, now it’s more openly mocking.
Olde timey baseball themed wedding with “strength pills” (good n plenty’s) & fake horsehair sideburns for the all guests
— The Fake Pinterest (@PinterestFake) April 27, 2012
Mix pesto, heirloom tomatos, grilled lamb, and gin in a blender for a savory, fun afternoon treat
— The Fake Pinterest (@PinterestFake) April 27, 2012
Married for 41 years, elderly couple die at the exact same time (so romantic) in housefire.
— The Fake Pinterest (@PinterestFake) March 22, 2012
A jar…………of buttons!
— The Fake Pinterest (@PinterestFake) April 20, 2012
“C’mon son,” the note said.
F_Squared stared at the note in disbelief as he rolled the luscious bags of nuggets around the palm of his hand. The TSA hadn’t confiscated his sweet, sweet cannabis; for this he was thankful. As a celebratory gesture he rolled him self a blunt and lit up, excited that he had dodged jail time and a temporary set back in his stocks.
He knew it immediately, it wasn’t the same weed that he had smoked before. F_Squared blew a perfectly shaped smoke ring and glanced at the bag as he took another puff. There wasn’t just weed in the bag – intermingled with the greenery (and a little purple flecks, F_Squared likes the good stuff) was a photo. He leaned forward and plucked it out of the bag with twitching fingers and took a closer look, a photo of Rick Santorum frozen in mid laughter. F_Squared hastily flipped the photo over and read the hand-scrawled note on the other side of the page:
“I will use you as my prophet to the Ents. I may captivate the Christians and the homophobes, but I need you to win the hearts and minds of the Ents. Yours truly, Ricky”
F_Squared shuddered once as the spirit of Santorum entered him, filling every inch of his being. It was in that moment that F_Squared understood that he had been subjected to a fate worse than death. He also craved a generic ham sandwich.
You ever wonder what our favorite internet pics would look like if they weren’t shot with nice cameras or edited with Photoshop? If we ditched the digital cameras and just painted everything in watercolor? And also the paintings looked like shit?
That’s what Reddit user Shitty_Watercolour is doing. This person has only been on Reddit for two days, but he or she’s already painted dozens of images that other people have submitted.
Sorry to be all “Reddit Daily Reporter” but they keep inventing forms of jokes and that’s really cool.
Someone’s made an account called RedditJournal where he acts like an explorer discovering Reddit. About once a day, this guy leaves a journal entry as a comment in some popular thread. He’s visiting different subreddits, reporting on the site’s customs like a 19th-century Westerner in the heart of Africa.
Day 12: Still recovering from the previous two days. Distrustful of everyone. Even a supposed Frito-Lay employee seems suspiscious to me. Why would someone lie about such a thing? Must be paranoid. Food low again. Water at an acceptable level, rationing the rest. I should get some sleep.
Addendum: One helpful Redditor took notice of my sleepless state. He kindly suggested I travel to a place,”r/nosleep,” for others like myself who seek solace and rest. I am hopeful.
One of Reddit’s most famous users is Bozarking, who wrote comments with elaborate sexual fantasies, often in innocent threads, that then attracted massive upvotes. His term “nonsexual and silly“, used in one of his many incest-themed stories, became a Reddit shibboleth. It also describes Bozarking’s style: presenting scenes where taboo, arousal and mundane joys and intimacies are inextricable.
After a few months, Bozarking deleted all his comments (some were saved and reused by the user bozarking_saver) and he disappeared early this year.
Except a Bozarking homage pops up every few months — with such consistency that it’s pretty easy to believe Bozarking is just creating new accounts.
Copyright © 2015 My Damn Channel, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Designed in collaboration with Wondersauce.