“You’re tearing this family apart,” Matriarch Sonic told Tails, “with your shitty Christmas gifts of single rings wrapped in aluminum foil.” “It’s your fault!” said Tails. “You’re the subject of too many satirical National Novel Writing Month tweets!” Sonic almost smacked Tails across the face, but s/he knew it to be true. S/he and her/is fedora were bringing shame upon their suburban dynasty.
They barely calmed down for Thanksgiving dinner, both staring at their phones reading Slacktory’s picks of the best #NaNoWriMoOpeners tweets. They’d already devoured volume 1, and they now dug into the second course.
By 1:46 pm, John Hedge had sprayed Ebola on every cream dispenser in every Starbucks in Manhattan. #NaNoWriMoOpeners
— colson whitehead (@colsonwhitehead) November 1, 2012
“Make MY monster grow!” Lord Zed roared as he and Rita did the sex. #NaNoWriMoOpeners
— ghost (@DoubleWizard) November 1, 2012
A mix of friction and sweat from our rad sex had worn down her pubic hair. It looked like it spelled some words. “El Barto”#NaNoWriMoOpeners
— ＳＴＵＮＦＩＳＫ ＣＬＡＵＳ (@stunfisk_ebooks) November 1, 2012