Posts Tagged “love”

  1. spam-email-good-man

    The weirdest spam email wants love and commitment, not boners

    If there’s one thing we all know about spam emails, it’s this: Spam robots want to talk about your wiener. They want to sell pills for your wiener, or they want to touch your wiener and you should really click through to their profile; they’re just so lonely and a good wiener touch is all they want.

    For over a decade, spam emails have focused on sex and hookups and porn and V 1 A G R A, all in an attempt to speak to your most basic carnal desires. That’s all I thought they ever did.

    At least I thought that up until yesterday, when I finally got a mature spam email.

    Check out how unhorny this spam robot sounded. »

  2. Jeff Goldblum thinks

    Jeff Goldblum, Advice Columnist

    Please welcome Slacktory’s newest advice columnist, actor and universe-fetishist Jeff Goldblum.

    What kind of gelato do you eat together on a first date?

    @ElviPatterson on Twitter

    Ah! Ah-ha! Gelato! Yes! This is an important question. But then, oh, yes, every question is important. When-when-when a child asks why is the seafoam green or why…why was I ever even born if life is so meaningless…these aren’t funny questions! These are serious—Oh! Oh yes! Life is important. Your question, even though it seems…it seems…I’m sorry to say, it seems stupid. It’s very stupid. But yes, unless, it’s not stupid! Unless it is important! Life’s important! Life finds a way!

    Read the rest of Jeff Goldblum’s advice. »

  3. Nazi Germany

    Unspirationals 2: More Beautiful Photos Captioned With Hard Truths

    Life is hard, and it’s been hard for nearly everyone. Except for a few people you don’t like.

    Why do people use brilliant photos to hide reality with hopeful sayings? We’ve replaced those lies with truths before, now we’re doing it again.

    Come get your mind blown. »

  4. when life gets tough

    Unspirationals: Beautiful Photos Captioned With Hard Truths

    Reality is harsh, and schmaltzy Tumblr pictures try to hide reality from you. It is time to counteract that.

    I took the prettiest pictures I could find, and stamped them with hard truths.

    Get your tissues. »

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