This is not a joke piece. The story below is real. — Ed.
Is the following a quote from Left Behind or blog of a reality star from the mid 2000s?
This is a message to all the people of Jerusalem. I am the reincarnation of Melchizedek. Have been a lie to your own people and used a great many masquerading as a human led humanity to the world very dark and ugly. If you really believe that then you must believe me a message to all of you. I roll the real bodies of Melchizedek.
If you guessed a blog, you win! And bonus points if you guessed it was translated from Hebrew (I had to use Google Translate) from a post by Tila Tequila. This October, the former reality star has refocused her brand online as a “Freedom Fighter” against the Illuminati, Moon People, mind controlling frequencies, and a possible upcoming apocalypse.