Slacktory

Posts Tagged “Hurricane Sandy”

  1. Battleship sucks

    Reviewing board games after a week without internet

    Here’s a weird but totally factual statement: Because of the weather, I didn’t have a job last week. As someone who A) relies entirely on the internet for income and b) was among those who lost electricity because of Tropical Post-Rock Hurricane Sandy, I had a whole lot of time to be alone with my thoughts — a pastime everyone pretty much hates.

    In the interest of beating back any nagging memories of embarrassment and wrongdoing, I resorted to the only form of entertainment that works when everything fun is broken: board games. This is how they’ve held up since my childhood.

    Battleship

    Pros: It’s a war game that doesn’t require almost any tactical strategy whatsoever.

    Cons: I lost a bunch of the pieces (see: tried melting them, then threw them out) since the last time I wanted to play Battleship, putting me at a disadvantage that simulated actual warfare. Chalk it up to variant defense spending between sovereign nations.

    Grade: C

    See reviews of Monopoly, Checkers, and more things that aren’t Assassin’s Creed 3 goddamn it. »

  2. Red Cross porn truck

    Riding the porn truck into blacked-out Manhattan

    After Sandy, ten of us had volunteered specifically for this mission. I was still woozy from donating blood, but I hung on tight to the van as I swung back and forth, dipping an arm inside, swinging it back out again with a fresh Hustler, flinging the magazine to an open-mouthed boy on a stoop, swinging back in for the next copy.

    We were behind schedule. We’d wasted a half hour painting a giant red cross on either side of the U-Haul, and then Ed spent another fifteen minutes finishing a girly-girl on the hood, as if anyone wouldn’t already know our mission.

    Our mission as the Volunteer Porn Brigade was to help the blacked-out victims of Hurricane Sandy by delivering first aid and distributing traditional non-electronic pornography.

    Read on for tales of homebrewed coffee and Blacks on Blondes. »

  3. nyc-blackout-title

    What our editor-in-chief is probably up to during the NYC power outage

    Slacktory’s editor-in-chief Nick lives in New York City. With Hurricane Sandy having left millions of people on the East Coast without power, we were a little worried. Fortunately, Nick let us know he’s doing fine, but that he’s currently without power and cell phone service. The important thing, however, is that he’s safe, so now we can lightly poke fun at his situation.

    Here’s what I think he might be doing to occupy his time while he’s without electricity and internet:

    • Using a battery-powered strobe light to recreate popular animated GIFs by himself in front of a mirror
    • Leaving real life YouTube comments by shouting “Fail!” out the window at his flooded neighborhood
    • Creating a “Slacktory Supercut” of the wackiest Ron Weasley moments by physically cutting and pasting together passages from actual Harry Potter books in his living room
    • Forcing a desperate new meme in his apartment, “Scumbag Electricity”, by taping handwritten words to a lamp. “WON’T TURN ON” / “OH GOD PLEASE TURN BACK ON”
    • Sobbing in the dark
    • Playing “Angry Batteries,” a new game in which he throws dead batteries at a pile of unusable electronics
    • Scribbling racist comments under local newspaper articles so they read just like online news
    • Reading quietly by candlelight, appreciating the peace and quiet that comes with the internet not being there to distract you every goddamn second

    title image via The Huffington Post

  4. naked man vs police

    These 8 viral photos aren’t of Hurricane Sandy

    You may have seen these pics going around online lately. Despite any claims to the contrary, they are NOT of Hurricane Sandy. So please correct those who said otherwise.

    (Pics link to sources.)

    This is actually a father-daughter Halloween costume.

    See more viral photos that, believe it or not, aren’t actually from Hurricane Sandy! »

  5. Every supposed picture of Hurricane Sandy over New York City is definitely real

    I live in New York and this is super-real:

    This is how storms work. They just appear suddenly, while boats are still out on the water and people are just all out on Liberty Island. Even climate change happens in, like, a half hour.

    Here’s how storms attack New York City. »

  6. Hurricane Sandy by NASA

    Hurricane Preparedness Tips

    Slacktory is going into hurricane preparedness mode! We’re learning lots about hurricanes. For example, did you know there’s a hurricane coming? That’s a hurricane fact!

    Follow these tips to get through Hurricane Sandy:

    • Fill your bathtub with water.
    • Fill a lot of jars with water.
    • Turn your microwave on its side and fill it with water.

    See more hurricane tips. »

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