Slacktory

Posts Tagged “dating”

  1. dating spreadsheet

    Other Ways “Creepy Finance Guy” Tracked His Dates

    Did you hear about the New York finance guy who tracked his dating life with an Excel spreadsheet? There’s some argument over whether he’s creepy or just anal. Before you decide, consider his other date-tracking methods:

    • Evernote scrapbook of lipstick-printed napkins
    • Pinterest board for each date’s dream wedding
    • Powerpoint presentation on why third base is a no-brainer
    • Basecamp for wingmen (pro account)
    • MS Paint annotations of Match.com photos
    • Geni family tree of possible remote relations based on discreetly obtained hair samples
    • Copy of Getting Chicks Done
  2. NBA logo says Hey girl

    NBA Team Logos Take You Out on a Date

    “I’m sorry, I look ridiculous. No, no, I just got too skinny for this belt is all… Ha, you say that but it actually can be annoying to be too skinny.”

     

    “’Where is Golden State?’ It’s all around us. It’s like… a state of mind. Namaste.”

     

    “Well why don’t you stare back at them? What’s so normal about wearing flannel and jeans, huh? You think you’re smaaaht or somethin’? No, this is my nahmal accahnt!

     

    “It’s for self-defense. I’m still kind of getting over my ex.”

    Let the rest of the NBA team logos hit on you. »

  3. Subway boy

    This Is Everything: How to Pick Up Girls

    Don’t look at any thumbnails just click it quick click it

    Click it you guys click it »

  4. Final Fantasy Characters Hit on Girls at a Strip Club

    After battling (or committing) all the great evils and restoring (or resisting) balance to the world, the characters of Final Fantasy set out to engineer some “random encounters”.

    CLOUD: You ready?
    GABRANTH: These chicks are WAY hotter than the ones in Mysidia!

    Next: Paladins is so peacocking right now. »

  5. Title Pic

    Marla the Shitty Advice Columnist: Family

    We tried to hire a dating columnist for Slacktory, but we’re working on a budget so Marla is all we could afford. Also see her previous advice.

    Dear Marla,

    My friend’s dad cheated on his mom and he’s so depressed. How can I help?

    Sincerely,
    Cheater

    First of all define ‘cheatin’ cuz it has several meanings. »

  6. okcupid

    Marla the Shitty Advice Columnist: Dating Tips

    We tried to hire a dating columnist for Slacktory, but we’re working on a budget so Marla is all we could afford.

    Dear Marla,

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and it’s been amazing. However, I’ve just been accepted to a veterinary program in Philadelphia, PA, which is pretty far from our home in Atlanta, GA. Working with animals has always been my dream but if I leave, I know this will be the end of us. I know he loves me but he doesn’t show me the support I need and I’m not sure I want to give up my dreams just yet.

    Sincerely,

    Confused, age 33
    Atlanta, GA

    Read Marla’s advice. »

  7. Fat topless guy at bar

    My Craigslist Missed Connections

    #1. The Girl From the Bar

    I saw you last Saturday at that bar, “The Darkroom,” but when you told that guy your name, I was just out of earshot and missed it. Lauren? Christina? I don’t know. I tried to steal a glance in your purse when you were paying your tab, but I didn’t see anything and next thing I knew, you were gone for the evening. Ugh! I should’ve just introduced myself!

    Oh well. The next day, I managed to obtain a printout of the names scanned into the ID reader by posing as law enforcement. Using that, I plugged the female names into a Facebook search, which yielded several hundred results. I scoured thousands of pictures on there, but didn’t see anyone that looked like you.

    Is it possible you have an icon as your profile photo? Are you listed as a skateboard, a baby, a cake, a shoe, a silhouette of a lamp, Miles Davis, a pear, or “Theodore” from “Alvin and the Chipmunks?” Let me know.

    I went ahead and sent a friend request to everyone listed in the search results. »

  8. IRL stories banner

    IRL Stories: Pickles, Gangbangs and Aretha Franklin

    Have you ever met an online friend in real life for the first time? Cartoonist Monica Ekabutr illustrated three IRL stories from Slacktory fans below.

    Come see. There’s no actual gangbang, sorry. »

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