Slacktory

Posts Tagged “Call of Duty”

  1. angry boy

    Let Me Tell You About the Kid That Teabagged You in Call of Duty

    “Let Me Tell You” is a fiction series that makes you feel bad for the people you hate online.

    You had a stressful day at work, and all you wanted to do when you got home was crack open a Tecate, load up Call of Duty, and blow off some steam by painting the walls with some random’s pixelated brains.

    You joined a game and went on the hunt for a sniping spot. As you turned a corner, your screen flashed red and you were on the ground, the recipient of a nasty head wound. “Damn, that was fast”, you thought, as you waited for a respawn.

    The second you rezzed, your avatar was again reduced to a crumpled heap. You watched while a player crouched repeatedly over your corpse’s face. You took note of his name, XxSniperXx, and dedicated the rest of the match to repeatedly fragging him.

    The next time you spawned, you were barely able to take four steps before you were gibbed from behind with a knife. Your anger ratcheted up a few notches as xXSniperXx once again scraped his virtual nut-sack across your avatar’s nose.

    You began verbally abusing your assailant… (Read on) »

  2. Call of Duty Black Ops 2 villain corpse face

    Why Does Everyone in This Call of Duty Trailer Have a Corpse Face?

    It looks like they all wear the faces of their slain enemies as masks, and most of their enemies are the last living Holocaust survivors. This isn’t even the Uncanny Valley, it’s like their face font is Papyrus.

    Watch a bunch of corpses talk to each other. »

  3. Guitar Hero buttons

    What Your Favorite Video Game (Series) Says About You

    If your favorite game isn’t listed below, tell me in the comments and I’ll tell you what it says about you.

    Halo: You regularly visit your old frat house.

    Minecraft: You’re a very attentive lover.

    Dead or Alive: You spit a little when you talk.

    Team Fortress 2: You unfavorably compare “anime-ized” modern cartoons with Tex Avery classics.

    Starcraft: You like cooking, but not baking.

    Wii Sports: You have other couples over for “taco night”.

    Call of Duty: You have bedhead.

    Read a bazillion more. »

  4. Virtual Planking

    Virtual Planking: Video Games Go Face Down

    My editor asked me if I could find examples of planking in video games. He figured there would be MILLIONS of examples. Since he is my boss, I am going to say that his estimation was verrrrry close.

    In reality, after scouring several internets, I have discovered that there are 12 examples. Also, they aren’t very interesting or funny. But the thing is, when life hands me lemons, I take them to a nursing home and throw them at the elderly… because it brings me joy.

    Lemons ready. Target acquired… »

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