Posts Tagged bad sex
Ow. Seriously. Please stop that. I can’t imagine a situation in which that would feel good. Do you think that some girls would actually enjoy that? Is it a European thing or something? Maybe you picked it up during that semester you spent in Italy.
But, um, when not in Rome, man. Honestly, that wasn’t desirable in the slightest. Can you hand me my pants? Wow, maybe some Neosporin, too.
Did your watch get caught down there or something? It felt like you were putting a pineapple in one end and pulling it out the other. Should I have enjoyed that? Do you want me to… am I supposed to do that to you now? Is there a bib or something I can wear?