“Pumpkin spice please. Not the latte, just pour the spice down my throat.”
Written and performed by Alex Schmidt and Nick Douglas
Director of photography: Nate Bennett
Music: “Nothing Much” by My Bubba & Mi
Hey y’all, it’s me, Troy Crossley. You may know me as the talented young rapper using his music to get the word out about the innocence of accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar (Jahar) Tsarnaev.
But I’m not just an aspiring musician and entrepreneur (I am those things, though) – I’m also a champion of social justice, as well as an extremely gifted rapper, but also the social justice thing, too.
Here’s proof that the star of Notting Hill and the six-time WWF champion play the same cultural role, even though they seem like they’re worlds apart:
Hugh Grant hasn’t just never been nominated for an Oscar. Hugh Grant has zero Academy Award nominations even though he starred in movies nominated for Best Picture in 1993 and 1994 and 1995. That means the Academy paid very close attention to his acting in multiple quality films, yet still snubbed him hard. Hugh has had to settle for the mild praise of a single Golden Globe win for his role in Four Weddings and a Funeral, beating out “respected” thespians like Jim Carrey and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
The Hobbit has broken box office records and, as with every hit movie, those in the know have already begun reflecting the trends from the big screen in the way they dress.
Photo by/CC Flavio on Flickr
Rings have always been a fun accessory, but with the advent of Hobbit Fashion, they’re a must have for any outfit. Gold rings, platinum rings, plastic rings, rings made of string, rings that make you invisible and turn you evil, are all good options. Essentially, just put as many rings on your fingers as possible. Put so many rings on that you can’t bend your fingers. You won’t be able to open doors or point at things, but fashion wasn’t made for utility. For an extra touch of class carry around a phone that’s ringing, and never answer. Who’s calling? Fashion.
“Steve, what day did you send out the election-related merchandise email newsletter?”
“Oh, months ago! Back when it made any sense for someone to buy a design that would be rendered obsolete tomorrow! Sorry just a sec I need to go write a… thing.”
If there’s one thing we all know about spam emails, it’s this: Spam robots want to talk about your wiener. They want to sell pills for your wiener, or they want to touch your wiener and you should really click through to their profile; they’re just so lonely and a good wiener touch is all they want.
For over a decade, spam emails have focused on sex and hookups and porn and V 1 A G R A, all in an attempt to speak to your most basic carnal desires. That’s all I thought they ever did.
At least I thought that up until yesterday, when I finally got a mature spam email.
I live in New York and this is super-real:
This is how storms work. They just appear suddenly, while boats are still out on the water and people are just all out on Liberty Island. Even climate change happens in, like, a half hour.
Kim Stafford made this sign as a joke for a themed college party. But of course the photo was taken seriously by thousands, maybe millions of internet users, including Cheezburger’s The Daily What (who later added a correction).
That last time you meet up with an ex so she can give you all your stuff back is like when you unsubscribe from a mailing list and then they send you that one final “you’ve been successfully unsubscribed” email.
Only nobody’s ever accidentally had sex with that final email. “I don’t know what happened! I just saw that newsletter and all those old feelings and habits came back! I just banged that email, right there on the table.”
That is how breakups and email are different.
Copyright © 2013 My Damn Channel, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Designed in collaboration with Wondersauce.