Slacktory

Tragedy

  1. jerry-maguire

    The Internet’s Saddest Tragedy Remixes

    9/11.
    Columbine.
    Jerry Maguire.

    What do these three things have in common? If you said they were all national tragedies, then well, one could argue that Jerry Maguire has a pretty sizable fan base. However, if you guessed TRAGIC VIDEO REMIXES, you’d be sadly correct (and unusually intuitive, I have to say). In the case of Jerry Maguire, actual film dialogue is even used. When it comes to real life news events, songs are cut with actual news reports from the day of the tragedy.

    Stop right here if Jewel offends you.

  2. titanicfloatingdoor

    Mythbusters ruins lives by confirming that both Jack & Rose could’ve survived the sinking of the Titanic

    This has not been a good year for Titanic fans, let me tell you. Earlier this year we were collectively jacked out of almost $60 million when Titanic was re-released in zombie 3-D. Fans from across the globe went to see their favorite love story with some added depth perception slapped on in post-production. The result? Viewers were WOW’d for about 30 minutes, or until they realized just how many times they’d have to visit the bathroom to survive the 194 minute film.

    Then! The extended DVD release of said-film came with a bonus scene that revealed the original casting for Jack: none other than Clueless heartthrob Jeremy Sisto. That’s right, the same Jeremy Sisto who had to run to the quad to “grab his Cranberries CD before somebody snags it.” A Jeremy Sisto who (without nostalgic bias) does a pretty good job looking like and acting like a Jack Dawson.

    Could Jack & Rose have actually survived the Titanic?

  3. sadlunch

    Have a sad lunch, everybody

    62% of American office workers usually eat their lunch in the same spot they work all day. Is this true? I have no idea. But that’s what the creators of the Tumblr Sad Desk Lunch say, so I believe them.

    Sad Desk Lunch chronicles those wax paper-wrapped, Tupperware-contained moments of midday depression-mitigation collectively known as lunch.

    What makes these so depressing are those little bits of personality, desperately added to keep morale from flagging, to remind the lunch-packer that he or she is a person with preferences and needs and feelings and not just the occupant of a chair, facing a computer, so easily replaceable, so entirely unloved — a slice of lemon.

    It gets worse. »

  4. Jessi Slaughter’s Dad Is Dead

    Gene Leonhardt, troubled father of a troubled girl, passed away last week. Man, fuck everything about Jessi Slaughter’s sad family saga.

  5. Casey Anthony devil top

    Casey Anthony Acquitted by Jury, Sentenced by Internet

    Casey Anthony was acquitted of all major crimes surrounding the death of her daughter Caylee, but many Americans are unhappy about the verdict. In 1992 LA rioted after officers were acquitted for beating Rodney King, but its unlikely that this will occur today because Americans concerned with this case are too busy watching Nancy Grace to turn over police cars and loot stores in their neighborhoods. Luckily they can lodge their discontent from the comfort of their sofas.

    More than 770,000 people have liked the Facebook page “Fuck Casey Anthony” over the course of the trial. There are hundreds of pages dedicated to the nuances of hating Casey Anthony. Pages pointing out her “bacne”, obsessing over hitting her in the face with a metal pole, or simply calling her a Slut Extraordinaire (French for “extraordinary slut”). One Facebook page calls Casey Anthony Public Enemy #1. I’m sure that elusive al-Qaeda terrorist Aiman al-Zawahiri is a little embarrassed that he’s been pushed down a notch by the “tot mom.” The fair-minded people at Casey Anthony is a dumb bitch did not think the sentencing was harsh enough so they took to their polls.

    Next: Team Casey. »

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