This Is Everything

  1. Ashli Gay - angry lady on YouTube

    This Is Everything: This woman is definitely not real

    I’d like to congratulate these two actresses for their slick duo work. What seems to be the main monologue is in fact a patter set up for the mother’s impeccable timing, as she chimes in like the world’s most depressing hype man.

    No real person could accidentally be this funny. These lines were honed for weeks by the Mr. Show writing team, then punched up by Mitchell and Webb. Each of those hiccups was a carefully timed sapphire placed on this jeweled crown.

    The bit where the mom pulls up her…

    Yes, these women are definitely fake.

    Watch what is clearly an elegant troll by a superteam of the world’s top comedians. »

  2. call call call me me me maybe maybe maybe

    This is everything: Call call call me me me maybe maybe maybe

    I don’t know what Schröedingeresque factor makes some weird-ass videos seem hilarious to some and merely baffling but banal to others. I did not expect to care for this woman’s terrible cloned karaoke performance of “Call Me Maybe”, but at the chorus I lost it. So did my co-editor Henry. Even though we knew exactly what was coming, we were somehow surprised by the precise fractal permutation of the inevitable outcome.

    Watch a ‘nailed it’-style version of ‘Call Me Maybe’. »

  3. MTV says fuck you

    Why MTV doesn’t play music videos any more

    I am jealous of this idea and of Brian Firenzi’s sniper-quality delivery. His whole message is funny and true and slickly paced.

    Brian’s one of the Five-Second Film guys, and he’s made over a hundred videos on his own channel. Many are this good.

    Watch Brian explain why MTV doesn’t play music videos. »

  4. woman screams into phone
  5. Faming Simulator Mad Skill - zero fucks given

    This is everything: The intense gaming video “Farming Simulator Mad Skill”

    This video is the reward you get after your ten thousandth hour spent on memes and video games. If “no-scope cornshot” sounds to you like it could be a joke, even if you don’t know what that joke is, then I am about to make you climax.

    The only superior accomplishment would be an Anamanaguchi-soundtracked Zynga killshot cumpilation.

    Watch this million-view machinima masterpiece. »

  6. A Night in Miles Kelley

    This is everything: “A Night in Miles Kelley” is a terrible homemade comedy video

    I like awful homemade comedy/”random” videos even more than Plan 9 From Outer Space or The Room. Failed comedy can be as fascinating as failed horror or melodrama. And YouTube examples are more impressive than movies, where there’s at least some semblance of a budget and a plot, and where multiple people were willing to get involved.

    This NSFW video (another Cole Stryker discovery) is a filthy porn parody starring one chubby guy having sex with himself, plus a couple of friends as body doubles. It’s beautifully self-indulgent, inconsistent, and degrading. Miles at least deserves sincere praise for making a fool of himself and being the butt of his own joke.

    The camerawork, the editing, the choice of “lol insult” comedy, are all part of this young-male comedy-video flavor profile that I think should particularly appeal to comedians.

    Watch ‘A Night in Miles Kelly’. »

  7. crazy libertarian on YouTube

    This Is Everything: Either the worst libertarian poet ever, or the sharpest comedian ever

    Every time I think I know which, I change my mind.

    Complaining about the tyranny of sidewalks and public parks is so Swansonesquely ludicrous that it has to be a joke. But I’ve seen too many crazy old conservatives on YouTube to think that someone couldn’t have legitimately made this argument.

    Either way I just want to find more of this guy’s stuff. It looks like this video was copied onto someone else’s account. Anyone got a lead on the original?

    Watch this razor-sharp wit or pretentious imbecilic rambling. »

  8. ladies playing dice

    This is everything: Board games and vibrators on “You Look Nice Today”

    Nobody likes Sorry. There’s nobody who ever liked Sorry who wasn’t a dick.

    — Merlin Mann

    Scruples was the one where it’d be like, “Tie up your dick. Yes or no.” I’m sure there were advertisements for that game that had a guy asking a terrible question and then a lady whispering “Ssscrupllles.”

    — Scott Simpson

    The Rules (iTunes link) is the August 2012 episode of the long-running comedy podcast “You Look Nice Today”, by Merlin Mann, Adam Lisagor, and Scott Simpson. It is possibly the show’s crowning moment. I had to wash my face after this because I’d cried from laughing too hard.

    Do you understand the intensity? My body was physically wracked by spoken words alone. I want you to share that experience. This is what it is to be human.

    The first act of the show is about treating car dealerships like coffeeshops; the second is about the British Museum. The last act covers the horror of board games and their adult fans, and the denouement explores Amish sex toys, which sounds like a corny setup but is in fact sublime. While the entire episode is impressive, you can skip to 30:16 for the impeccable nine-minute game-and-dildos sequence.

    Go listen. (Skip the text intro til after.)

  9. why are you closed guy

    A detailed breakdown of 2010′s “Why are you closed?” guy

    In 2010, an aging gentleman wanted to shop at Toronto’s Eaton Centre. It was closing (locking down during the G-20 protests). He pounded on the doors and demanded an explanation. Someone, amused, shot him on video. It was later removed, but copies have earned millions of views over the last two years.

    This video holds the key to life. This video is everything.

    Let’s walk through the highlights. »

  10. GIFsound guy wants to fuck you in the ass

    GIFs With Sound

    There’s a site called GIFSound where you match up sound to GIFs duh. Then there’s a year-old subreddit dedicated to the best matches. Then there are these two videos collecting the very best ones from the subreddit (below).

    Actual goddamn LOLs.

    You know the new song “Thrift Shop”?  About how you can look way cooler in your grandma’s hand-me-downs than a $50 Gucci tee? This is the animated GIF version of that truth.

    Listen to some GIFs. »

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