My phone has taken to closing out certain apps when I’m in the middle of using them. The other day I was trying to send a short text to a friend, and the window kept closing before I could hit ‘Send’. I tried to make a quick call in lieu of the text, and my phone kept closing the call app. At this point, the message was unimportant. I was enraged. I threw the phone across the room, wishing it would break so I’d be forced to break up with it, but no dice. That asshole is sturdier than a Nokia.
Later that same day I came across this thread, and the joy I felt in realizing I was not alone in my rage can scarcely be put into words. Redditor bongofury posed the question, “What is the angriest you’ve been at an inanimate object and why?”
Here I’ve gathered for you a few of my favorite responses from the thread, but if you have the time be sure to check out the full thing. I could only bring so much of the goodness back with me.
Let’s begin with a tale from Gyaruson:
My wife had this terrible wingback chair that she made me keep around, even though it was hideous and I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to it. Things between my wife and I got rough, and she moved out. Shortly thereafter – before she got all of her stuff – I stubbed my toe on the leg of the chair whilst carrying some stuff to the living room. That, combined with my current mental state regarding the owner of the chair, was the last straw. I took the chair out to our dumpster, and proceed to beat the everloving shit out of it until it was broken into a bunch of tiny splinters and cloth pieces.
Man, that felt good.