1. Matt Inman of The Oatmeal kinda sucks

    Finally, we can all start openly hating The Oatmeal


    DAE geek nerd coolsplosion awesomesauce?

    Computer Tesla cat go MEOW to fatties!

    — The Oatmeal

    Yesterday, Matthew Inman, who runs The Oatmeal, posted a comic saying why he hit certain keyboard keys (riveting material). In the last panel, the original line went “Every time the internet does not perform as expected, I rape the shit out of my F5 key.” The image went like this:

    He has since hidden the comic from any site navigation, but this link still works.

    Complaints started rolling in, and, angry that his every RANDOM!! thought wasn’t being worshipped, Inman replaced the last panel with this:

    Thanks to @mattlanger for the image.

    Here’s the thing — everyone fucks up at some point or another. Some, especially those who may have more privilege than others, just aren’t exposed to people who find certain terms and attitudes offensive. We all get that.

    But here’s how Matt Inman turned this into a shitstorm. »

  2. socks with sandals on Google Images

    Hateblogging the @ShitNoOneSayss_ Twitter Account

    We don’t like to hate things here! But Slacktory sous-blogger Henry Birdseye discovered the worst possible Twitter account, @ShitNoOneSayss_. Yes! An extra “s” and an underscore. Because they were like the fifteenth to this idea. And yet they have 95,039 followers, enough to warrant a HATEBLOG.

    Read our HATEBLOG and HATE with us. »

  3. Six years old is not a toddler

    You Know What, Fuck Us for Watching “Toddlers and Tiaras”

    Because it’s manufactured hate. I don’t want this in my life. Yes, the parents probably really are monsters, and they probably really are creating more monsters.

    But we can’t trust this show, can we? The producers of Toddlers and Tiaras and the broadcasters at TLC do not have either their or our best interests at heart.

    I’m only embedding the video so you can feel good about not watching. »

  4. Shia LeBeef

    Miles Lothe Destroys Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

    To celebrate the release of what one asshole in Minneapolis described as “The Best Action Movie Ever,” we plopped our resident angry person Miles Lothe in front of a fresh copy of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Here’s a transcription of what ensued.

    12:00 – Oh good, Michael Bay has managed to out-racist himself yet again. Right out of the gate we’ve got the old-black-guy-with-crazy-hair Autobot being a nuisance in Sam’s life. Perfect.

    There is nothing racially suggestive about this Autobot. Nothing.

    For fuckssake, the first time around they explained the accents with, “We learned to talk from the internet.” Are… are there some secret ethnic internets I don’t know about?? Did like half the Autobots dial into the Hispanic internet accidentally? Because there is literally no fucking reason at all for this bullshit. Even Bumblebee, who has to talk through the fucking radio, manages perfectly standard English. Fuck. How goddamn long is this travesty?

    TWO AND A HALF HOURS. Are you fucking kidding me? You’re fucking kidding me. Fuck me running, I hate all of you.

    Let the hate flow through you. »

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