Please welcome Slacktory’s newest advice columnist, actor and universe-fetishist Jeff Goldblum.
What kind of gelato do you eat together on a first date?
— @ElviPatterson on Twitter
Ah! Ah-ha! Gelato! Yes! This is an important question. But then, oh, yes, every question is important. When-when-when a child asks why is the seafoam green or why…why was I ever even born if life is so meaningless…these aren’t funny questions! These are serious—Oh! Oh yes! Life is important. Your question, even though it seems…it seems…I’m sorry to say, it seems stupid. It’s very stupid. But yes, unless, it’s not stupid! Unless it is important! Life’s important! Life finds a way!