Awkward Elevator

— 11 posts

Awkward Elevator is run by Nate Smith, Sam Holmquist, and Joe Aimonetti. You can find more of their collaborations at Awkward Elevator on Tumblr.

  1. Borg queen

    545 views, No comments

  2. DiGiorno employee manual

    1095 views, No comments

    Yesterday Gizmodo got a hold of an Apple Store Genius Training Manual. They read it cover to cover and exposed its shocking techniques, like politeness and empathy. Today they announced they have found a leaked copy of a DiGiorno Pizza Training manual.

    Sam Biddle Reports:

    You may have seen the outrageous DiGiorno advertising that has been permeating televisions for years, claiming that their pizza is as good as any delivery place, even implying that a tiny nerdy kid could be invited into what appears to be a generic rap star’s slammin’ party. You would think DiGiorno knows better, right? You bet they do: DiGiorno knows exactly what it’s doing with our emotions. How do I know? I read DiGiorno’s secret training manual from cover to cover.

    It’s a penetrating look inside DiGiorno: psychological mastery, banned words, role playing — you’ve never seen anything like it. THE HORROR!

    The training manual I mysteriously ended up with is apparently the most up-to-date and runs a bizarre gamut of DiGiorno do’s and don’ts, even mentioning words that employees shouldn’t use like “fucking asshole” and lessons on how to capitalize on human emotions, like love of food.

    See what else lurks inside the DiGiorno employee manual. »

  3. video game jokes banner

    6998 views, 2 comments

    Inspired by Caveman Circus’s “video game logic”, we found 15 classic games that embody memes, song lyrics, and other famous pop culture quotes. And we still avoided doing a “Somebody That I Used to Know” parody.

    See video games sharing cultural catchphrases. »

  4. shark olympics - suck my medals

    9409 views, 1 comment

    Shark Olympics


    Discovery Channel’s Shark Week starts this Sunday. So Discovery has teamed up with NBC to cross-promote Shark Week during the Olympics by letting some sharks compete in the games.

    See the Shark Olympics. »

  5. OS X Snoop Lion banner

    18964 views, 4 comments

    Apple and the artist formerly known as Snoop Dogg are proud to present their collaborative project. OS X Snoop Lion is a rebirth, inspired by traditional reggae style. And they’re donating ten percent of proceeds to the Marijuana Reform Party.

    See the specs for the new weed-friendly Mac OS. »

  6. 449 views, No comments

  7. Genius Bar appletini header

    2034 views, 1 comment

    The Apple Genius Bar can fix your Mac or any of your iDevices. But did you know that’s not all they can fix?

    Your martini, your leg, your love life. All fixable at the Genius Bar. »

  8. 134 views, No comments

  9. weekend at citizen kane's header

    2449 views, No comments

    We heard about Raging Bull II and we want some of this sequel money. We found eight more critically acclaimed films that could rake in money with unnecessary sequels.

    Saving Private Ryan: In Time: Starring Matt Damon, Tom Hanks, and Ice Cube
    Private Ryan is lost behind enemy lines again, this time in the year 3012. Capt. John H Miller (Hanks) deploys his team, along with an agent from the future (Cube), to once again save Private Ryan.

    See seven more sequels. »

  10. sad fathers

    852 views, No comments

    Groupon for a vasectomy and a hair cut


    The most stylish Mac ever made


    A Swiss Army Knife with nothing but nail files

    See 7 more terrible Father’s Day gifts. »

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