Slacktory

Henry Birdseye

— 48 posts

  1. ios6-transit-maps-routing-app-title

    3259 views, 2 comments

    This looks like it would be about the best public transit apps for the iPhone after the iOS6 update, but it’s not. We have no Maps replacements for public transit directions. They’re probably in iTunes, maybe even highlighted in iOS 6 on iPhone 4Ses and iPhone 5s, but we don’t know them.

    Seriously, we don’t have any information about the best iOS 6 transit routing apps. There’s nothing to see here. »

  2. unbabyme-list

    429 views, No comments

    I just installed unbaby.me, the browser extension for replacing Facebook baby photos with photos of other, more interesting things. After you set it up in Chrome, it drops you on the configuration page, which features a RIDICULOUS list of keywords they use to locate babies.

    Here it is:

    Check out the most ridiculous baby-detecting list you’ve ever seen. »

  3. Skryim ring

    337 views, 2 comments

    When a lady tells another lady she’s engaged, there’s that squeal. And then the questions: “Eeeee I’m so happy for you! How’d he do it? Where’d he do it? Tell me everything!” We know this trope. We know guys don’t do it. What do guys do, beyond something fake in three-camera sitcoms?

    If you want that squeal between dudes, tell your friend you just started watching some serial drama like Breaking Bad.

    “Whoa, awesome. When’d you start? How far along are you? Netflix or DVDs? That’s awesome. You’re going to love it. I’m just so happy for you.”

    Games too. “Just started Skyrim.” “AAAAH that’s so great! I’m so excited for you. How are you playing? Rogue? Brute? Aaaah the next few weeks are going to be great! Let me see your armor.”

    Picture from the Skyrim Mod Forge

  4. Chicago tour bus

    413 views, No comments

    On your right you’ll see the Wrigley Building, known for its FUCKING MOVE YOU STUPID ASSHOLE.

    On your left, you’ll see a building with beautiful gothic architecture [hears honking below] WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT

    FUCKING GO

    GO

    TED

    [stomps foot]

    TED

    ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING STAND FOR THIS

    HONK YOUR HORN

    LONGER

    HONK YOUR HORN LONGER, TED

    Keep touring beautiful Chicago by bus. »

  5. just-like-it-title

    2665 views, 3 comments

    We make fun of Facebook Likes and Twitter Favorites and Hearts and Stars and Horseshoes, but it’s positive reinforcement and our stupid human brains are wired to gobble that shit up. We like this feedback, but not enough to explicitly beg for it.

    But have you ever seen a corporate brand page on Facebook? They’re all shameless monsters, desperate for Likes and Shares. In theory, Likes and Shares make posts more visible to a larger Facebook audience. Then, more people will like that brand, and then that brand can drive cross-traffic to promotions, and then everybody gets rich from all that Like-and-Share money. And that’s why corporate brands on Facebook do whatever it takes to get attention, and they don’t care how much they have to pander to the lowest common denominator to do it.

    That’s why Condescending Corporate Brand Page is such a treat: It’s calling out all corporate brands for posting insultingly stupid Facebook content and then begging for Likes and Shares, and it’s doing it with posts that are simultaneously absurd and familiar.

    See some of Condescending Corporate Brand Page’s best jokes. »

  6. burrito terror

    491 views, No comments

    Today I grabbed lunch. And they fucked up my order. And I fucking panicked. Because I knew I’d have to complain to someone.

    And then I panicked because I accidentally ate bleu cheese and that’s nasty.

    It felt weird, having this awful anxiety and then also spitting out a bunch of bleu cheese into a trash can on the sidewalk… (Read more) »

  7. candy music video header

    1617 views, 2 comments

    There’s a Japanese pop artist who’s taking the world (i.e. everywhere but America) by STORM right now, and her name is Kyary Pamyu Pamyu. She started her career as a Harajuku fashion model. If you’ve ever seen Harajuku fashion, you may think it’s a word that translates to “tissue garbage”, but it’s actually the name of an area in Tokyo! So, given her background in bonkers Japanese fashion, it should come as no surprise that her music videos are crazy enough to put also-wears-garbage Lady Gaga to shame.

    Her music video for “Candy” starts off with a sense of urgency, with our protagonist running down the street in heels with a piece of toast in her mouth.

    And then it gets weirder. »

  8. Sally Ride in space

    107 views, No comments

    Was Sally Ride the first gay person in space?

    That’d be pretty dope. Being a first. That’s why people yell that shit on the internet so much, right?

    I bet when she arrived in space, she yelled “First!” And then whispered “gay lady in space.”

    And lady in general, sure.

    Whatever man, the joke is pretending Sally Ride treated space like a YouTube video.

  9. Superman Bizarro Reddit alien

    572 views, No comments

    I had an idea recently, for a way to make your “bizarro Reddit subscriptions”. It’s an app, I guess? A web app? It’d look at your list of Reddit subscriptions and offer you the opposite. Instead I will just make a list.

    gaming / camping
    awww / nosleep
    gonewild / nofap
    pics / books
    bestof / ShitRedditSays
    shutupandtakemymoney / randomactsofpizza
    firstworldproblems / fifthworldproblems
    apple / microsoft
    TheoryofReddit / circlejerk
    pickle / banana
    happy / fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu
    trees / jobs
    Lego / Minecraft
    vegan / bacon
    science / art
    fitness / StarCraft
    Music / dubstep
    4chan / 9GAG
    TwoXChromosomes / mensrights
    funnyTrueReddit
    atheism / christianity+islam+buddhism+theology
    EarthPorn / MachinePorn
    TodayILearned / ShittyHub

  10. 189 views, No comments

    Redditor “Trapped_in_Reddit” gets caught karma-whoring. He finds popular reposts, takes popular comments from the old threads and plagiarizes them in the new threads.

    What makes a man cheat for karma? A misguided desire to entertain? Lack of confidence in one’s own ideas? Greed?

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