Slacktory

Eddie Small

— 10 posts

Eddie feels pressured to write something clever here but is worried he won't be able to pull it off. He loves to write and is always surprised when he gets paid to do so. He lives in New York.

  1. Las Vegas keychain

    878 views, No comments

    Dear Valued Customer,

    It’s time to activate your new 5% cash back categories!

    Earn 5% cash back on up to $2,000 spent on flights and hotel rooms from November 1 through December 31, 2011.

    Why not splurge on a trip to Vegas with some old friends? That’s what we would do!

    For Terms and Conditions about this offer, please visit www.creditcard.com/cashback.

    ————————

    Dear Valued Customer,

    It’s time to activate your new 5% cash back categories!

    Earn 5% cash back on up to $2,000 spent on marriage counselors and takeout Chinese food from January 1 through February 29, 2012.

    It may have been a mistake Instagramming the pictures from your trip, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy some delicious General Tso’s!

    For Terms and Conditions about this offer, please visit www.creditcard.com/cashback.

    Read the rest of Credit Card Rewards Guy’s story. »

  2. Modest Mouse

    629 views, No comments

    Google: Modest Mouse

    You started out with the same humble origins as everyone else, but then right around 2004, something changed: you hit the big time. And don’t get me wrong, everyone is really happy for you. We’re just…we’re just not really sure if we can trust you anymore, you know? Power corrupts, after all. You’re still popular and probably will be for years to come, but that, quirky, offbeat cred you were capitalizing on for so many years? Yeah, it’s time to let go of that.

    See what bands are like Facebook, Twitter and Yahoo. »

  3. shut down 1

    684 views, No comments

  4. Vietnam Twitter

    230 views, 2 comments

    OccupyNationalMall
    Ok everyone, we’re gonna meet on the National Mall at noon tomorrow. See you there! FUCK THE DRAFT! #OccupyNatMall

    Hey @bobdylan, u want to meet us on the Mall? You could really help our protest “go electric” LOL

    Sorry @bobdylan, lame joke. It was @abbiehoffman’s idea. But u should still come! #BobDylanComeToOccupyNatMall!

    Just so we’re clear, the goals are end the war, power to the people, equality 4 everyone! No one leaves until we accomplish them all!

    Ok new goals: end the war, equality to the people, power 4 everyone! No one leaves until we accomplish them all! Or until “Laugh In” comes on!

    We’re gonna end this war in about two weeks, people! »

  5. Beatles on Twitter

    874 views, No comments

    George Martin: Alright, mates, first of all let me just say how happy I am that we not only managed to convince the four of you to reunite but were also able to bring both John and George back from the dead.

    Ringo: It sure was a crazy weekend!

    George Martin: Yes, yes it was. Anyway, we’re really excited to get you guys touring again, but as Paul and Ringo…well, as Paul can tell you, anyway, the music business has changed a lot since the 60s.

    George Harrison: How so?

    George Martin: Well, for one thing, you need a Twitter account now. Luckily, I explained all the boring, technical details concerning what Twitter is and how the internet works yesterday, so there’s no need to get into any of that now. We can skip right ahead to picking your guys’ handle.

    Paul: Easy: The Beatles.

    George Martin: Perfect. Only it’s already taken.

    Inside: Ringo’s idea. »

  6. Kindergartener-raising-hand

    4046 views, 1 comment

    The kindergarten economy has really evolved since we were there. It’s a hell of a lot harder to trade up from a bunch of grapes to a Lunchable without a good credit rating. And of course everything is done online now.

    Read the kindergarten Craigslist ads. »

  7. Grandpa's computer guide banner

    1507 views, 2 comments

    Old people love technology! They are just super crazy about it and understand it really well!

    Words by Eddie Small, pictures by Monica Ekabutr.

    Learn computers, Grandpa! »

  8. Meatloaf

    1363 views, No comments

    1997

    Hi Joe,

    Just wondering when you wanted to try and get together again. I sure had fun the last time we hung out! “Looks like he ordered the meatloaf too” haha. Anyway, hit me up when you get a chance.

    -Mark

    ———————————————————————–

    Hello,

    I will be out of the office on vacation until August 18 and will not have access to e-mail. I will do my best to respond as soon as I return.

    -Joe

    Four years later… »

  9. God Google image search

    1238 views, No comments

    People love comparing Google to God. “Is Google like God?” is an inane question, of course, a rhetorical device for Christian devotional writers and New York Times columnists. But we thought we’d break it down anyway. So we talked to Google and God.

    We… we got a little obsessed with sex. But to be fair, both of them are really interested in that stuff.

    How similar are they? »

  10. grandpa-and-grandson-on-laptop

    1505 views, 17 comments

    Age 4: Joey, we’ve been over this several times: Daddy’s not going to be able to find you a new Mommy if you keep changing his match.com interests to “poop.”

    Age 15: Are people seriously not allowed to put up naked pictures on these things? Bullshit. Let’s go back to Redtube.

    Age 20: Hey, let’s start a fake profile for Kevin. You know, the douche from Sig Chi! Here, I’ll get us started. Interests: “Being a douche.” Haha, classic!

    Keep aging. »

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