Slacktory

Clinton James

— 6 posts

  1. SpongeBob licks boobs

    4230 views, 1 comment

    I believe it was famous rapper Ludacris who once said “I wanna l- l- l- lick you from your head to your toes.” You know who else wants to lick you? Hint: he lives in a prickly fruit under the sea. During the Olympics this year tumblr user Alzedte made a gif of hottie diver Tom Daley being licked by SpongeBob and it inspired me to think of what else that famous cartoon sponge might put his tongue on.

    See SpongeBob lick everything. »

  2. 615 views, No comments

    1. Batman director Christopher Nolan reveals all Bane’s dialog will be dubbed over by Skrillex wub wubbing.
    2. Hot off the heels of the success of “The Avengers” DC Comics reveals new franchise “Supermengers” featuring Superman in drag, Superman with green paint all over his face, and Superman in other assorted wigs and costumes.
    3. Adventure Time to move to Nick Jr., focus mainly on teaching children how to count.

    See the rest of the happily avoided Comic-Con announcements. »

  3. 50 Shades of Grey parody with romance novels

    4930 views, 2 comments

    50 Shades of Grey is the iPhone of mainstream erotic literature — it changed the game, and now all the other not-entirely-explicit romance novels have to compete or die.

    Luckily, Shades fans aren’t exactly the most attentive readers, so you can just find-and-replace with some BDSM terms, slick up the cover, and you’re good.

    See five more updated ’50 Shades of Grey’-style romance novels. »

  4. Tumblr Jesus has followers

    9819 views, 1 comment

    Every day, Tumblr’s millions of users pick a new piece of pop culture to worship, desecrate, and repurpose. But what of our sacred texts and old traditions? Will they make sense in this Tumblr Universe?

    Fear not, for I have updated one of our most beloved religious stories to ensure that our children and our children’s children understand. Behold:

    Read the story of God’s only begotten Fuck Yeah blogger. »

  5. Mike O'Malley says spill your guts on Nickelodeon

    1077 views, No comments

    On Nickelodeon Guts, host Mike O’Malley always interviewed one contestant. And he always introduced the segment with one simple phrase.

    Watch Mike tell everybody to ‘Spill your guts!’ »

  6. Mitt Romney on America's Got Talent

    907 views, No comments

    America’s Got Talent would’ve been a great idea for a television show in the year ____ (insert year where boring things were really exciting). But in the year 2012, a talent show, really? Where’s the controversy? The sex appeal? The gay sex appeal? As the show begins its seventh season this week, I think it’s high time we explore some other options. Options such as:

    America’s Gotye Talent: Technically from Australia; as a workaround the show will be a clip of an American flag waving while “Somebody That I Used to Know” plays on repeat for an hour. A stretch, but still somehow better than watching AGT original formula.

    See the seven other replacement shows. Next up: America’s GOB Talent. »

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