Only a show as painfully, blindingly good as Mad Men could just completely disappear from television for a cool two years, only to come back with everyone clamoring at its zipper to give it a thank you BJ. Here, a few things we’ve been doing to pass the time.
1. Painfully trying to integrate fedoras into outfits. You’d think we’d have learned by now that fedoras died with Sinatra, and should only be worn by nerds at prom and Dick Tracy cosplayers. They just aren’t cool. Even in a hip hop video, when paired with a wifebeater, diamond necklace, and tightly choreographed dance moves, a fedora still screams desperate and uncomfortable. But thanks to Mad Men (and a desperate Banana Republic line), men have tried to “bring back” hallowed accessory — without “bringing back” the bespoke suit, pack of cigarettes, incredibly suave persona, and 8-figure Swiss bank account.
Facebook is a useful little tool. We can be ourselves, but that good, sexy, photogenic version that only kind of exists. We can be who we want. We can peek through the cracks of everyone else’s sexy, photogenic version.
And like any collection of more than 800 million people, spanning from drunk frat boys, to awkward teenage girls, to your grandmother — there is a general code of conduct. One that has not yet been codified. I present, for your enjoyment and your sanity, the unofficial rules of Facebook.