Hey guys I’m back with some advice. Sorry I’ve been MIA…I’ve been out lookin’ for love in all the wrong places again. I tried online dating for the eleventh time and let’s just say I’m still singlin and minglin. I met some really crazy dudes who were only lookin for one thing if you know what I mean and what I mean is they were lookin’ for my vagina.
Well last time I talked about food and this time I’m talkin about productivity. I answered some new questions and hope that you leave a question about travel for me in the comments section below for next time or else Slacktory will fire me and I won’t be able to pay my cable bill which won’t even matter cuz I steal cable from my neighbors so take that Slacktory lol jk.
Why can’t I ever pay attention when I watch movies?
That Person That Always Asks Questions During Movies
Thank you for the universal praise for “20 Guys Trying to Bang a Total Psycho on OkCupid“! We’re proud of every commenter ever for recognizing comedy, irony and hyperbole! Everyone saw clearly how the butt of the joke is Marla herself, because we explained it super-clearly because we’re very professional and perfect. As a reward, here are 12 more conversations with Marla, a crazy person made up for a fake OkCupid account.
Because OkCupid decided this joke was too good to let slowly devolve into a tired gag, they’ve closed Marla’s account. This will be the last-ever collection of Marla’s OkCupid conversations until she makes another account.
The world is fucked. If you are single, you’re fucked. If you’re married, you’re probably going to get divorced, so you’re fucked too. Online dating is taking over, and it’s as bad as everyone says it is. The general population is morphing into lazy, fake, desperate, and creepy weirdoes on the internet, and I did a little experiment to prove it.
I made a fake profile on OkCupid based on a character I created, named Marla. Here’s what Marla’s profile looked like. Please note that in my profile picture, you can’t see my face, boobs, butt, or anything that would indicate that I’m physically attractive whatsoever. Oh come on, that’s a hot shoulder. — Ed.
The goal was to be as incredibly weird, rude, and unattractive as possible to see if guys would still talk to me. Seriously, who would waste more than 0.05 seconds on this white trash bitch? A LOT OF PEOPLE, APPARENTLY.
People are constantly complaining about movie prices. Everyone’s always like “Back in my day movies were 3 cents” or some shit, but you guys! Our $9 isn’t just paying for 90 minutes of Katherine Heigl making cutesy faces and poorly delivering her lines! Our money is going much further than we think.
We tried to hire a dating columnist for Slacktory, but Marla was all we could afford. Also see her advice about dating and family. Thanks for all your questions about household hints! We apologize in advance for Marla’s answers.
I am having a centipede problem in my house. Can you tell me how to get rid of them?