Slacktory

Posts Published April 2013

  1. IKEA catalog staff

    The truth about the IKEA catalog

    After the horse meat scandal, IKEA comes clean about other sad truths.

    See Meghan’s show, JCrew Crew.

  2. Top Six Wettest Disney Princesses

    6. Jasmine (Aladdin)

    Look at her, just standing in that Saudi Arabian desert, sand blowing everywhere. “What’s that J? You need some lotion for your uncomfortably dry and itchy skin?” Jasmine’s got those sweaty armpits guaranteed by a stiflingly hot home climate, but not much else going for her in the wet department. She also has a beloved orange and black pet cat named Garfield. Cats, especially cartoon cats, despise water and its wet properties. Girl, you just laid a big ol’ goose egg to kick off these wetness scale ratings.

    »

  3. Jimmy Kimmel Live

    Next on Jimmy Kimmel Live

    1. House Republicans embrace entire Democratic platform after prankster tells them Obama wants the opposite
    2. Parents tell their children God is dead, toddler goes viral after walking herself through foundations of existentialism
    3. Kimmel spends an entire commercial-free episode detailing criminal charges he’s filed against Jay Leno; Jay takes it affably
    4. Louis C.K. rants: “My life is amazing and I have to act unhappy”
    5. The Roots show up, play three Gregory Brothers hits before someone escorts them to the right set
    6. New segment: “Fuck It, We’re Doing the Top Ten But Better”
    7. Announcer Dicky Barrett replaced by “Fucking Shit” news anchor
    8. “I’m Fucking Tsarnaev”
    9. This Week in Necessary Censorship, Because We Don’t Condone These Words, They’re Homophobic and Racist
    10. The Beatles!
  4. Monty Python machine goes ping
  5. Nick Douglas the TV fan

    The TV Fan

    Oh, I don’t have a TV. But I do have Netflix, Hulu, and actually I do have three TVs.

  6. More world-beating scoops from the New York Post

    As other news outlets struggled to verify and report breaking developments in the Boston Marathon bombings, one paper managed to cut through the clutter and report the facts before they were even facts. With shoe-leather and sensationalism, the New York Post scooped its competitors and breathlessly reported that 12 had been killed by the blasts, that two unexploded devices had been found, and that a suspect — a Saudi national — had been identified and taken into custody.

    Unfortunately, none of these facts happened to be true. The death toll was three, not 12. There were zero unexploded devices, not two. And the “suspect” — a 20-year-old spectator who had been injured by the bombing — was in actuality a “person of interest” who cooperated with investigators and was quickly cleared of any guilt.

    But the Post doubled down on their strategy. »

  7. Cougar Town title card joke

    All the Cougar Town title card jokes

    The creators of ABC/TBS’s “Cougar Town” hate their show’s title so much that they’ve tried to change it several times. And starting with season 2, they added a joke to the title card nearly every episode, mocking their own show’s name.

    Music: The Cougar Town theme song, “In the Moment” by Waz

  8. Law & Order fake websites supercut

    Law & Order’s fakest websites

    The real crime is this CSS!

    A followup to TV’s fakest websites.

  9. Nick does his taxes with Tom
  10. Luke Skywalker as The Graduate

    Star Wars: The Graduate

    Luke Skywalker is out of Jedi Academy and wondering what to do with his life.

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