Slacktory

Okc_ebooks creator Sam Kriss made a fake female profile on the dating site OkCupid, through which he responds to unsolicited messages from men with quotes from @horse_ebooks, the surreal Twitter bot that streams nonsensical snippets of text. The result: dozens of conversations from horny men desperately vying to have sex with a robot.

fat-cock-up-your-ass

That men on dating websites are desperate enough to forge conversations with aleatory internet patter is not in itself surprising. For women who receive an abundance of unsolicited messages from men, it is effortless to reject a would-be suitor. There is no need to give an “I have a boyfriend” or even a “no.” Thus, to some men, any response at all from a woman is encouragement enough to try to keep the conversation going, even if that response is “Almost immediately Together Turned immediately Immediately Immediately Immediately Immediately Immediately Immediately Immediately.”

What is surprising—to me, anyway—is how perfectly Okc_ebooks illustrates both the objectification of women and the way communication is degraded by pick-up artists.

I operate PUA.txt, a Twitter and Tumblr outfit that features a mix of repulsive and pathetic quotes from pick-up artist message boards. Having spent a few months trawling the “seduction community” where men share canned routines for “opening” (i.e., talking to) women, it’s fascinating to see their scripted conversations play out from the opposite perspective, that of a robot horse.

darts-at-a-wall

PUA routines diverge from other cliche pick-up lines (“Your legs must be tired…”) in that many PUAs believe their routines have an almost hypnotic pull and are grounded in psychology about the “female brain” and specious ideas about evolution and “human nature” that even a stoned philosophy undergrad would be embarrassed to say aloud.

PUAs avidly share these incantations online like video game cheat codes or In-and-Out secret menu items. When PUAs discuss routines, they frequently put filler text like “bla bla” in place of the “target’s” (i.e., woman’s) dialogue, as anything she might say is presumed irrelevant while she’s being razzle-dazzled by a fast-talking man wearing eyeliner and a fedora. The hypothetical woman who will soon be bothered by a weirdo on the bus is treated with no subjectivity; no matter what she says, the PUA’s next line in the script remains essentially the same. The resultant one-sided conversation is a hollow parody of human interaction.

Online routines are less varied, since there is no opportunity to do a magic trick or casually touch a woman’s hair to activate her attraction zones. On dating sites, the PUA’s aim is to distinguish himself among many messengers by provoking a woman’s sense of insecurity or curiosity.

Yet the same denial of a woman’s subjectivity is present, perhaps to an even greater extent. Take, for example, this PUA who runs through three different routines, gets no response other than “OK,” then asks his colleagues if the woman is “flirting or being a bitch.” Like all good hustlers, PUAs are loath to take “no” for an answer, even when they’re talking to a Twitter horse. They seem genuinely oblivious or hostile to the fact that women enjoy the agency to reject potential paramours, no many how many alpha male traits their dating profile conveys.

Sam, @horse_ebooks’ dating coach, told me via email: “There was an article on ABC News about it where the gist was ‘here’s how to fend off internet creepers,’ which is bollocks. A lot of people just get angrier or hornier.”

As for the PUAs caught in Okc_ebooks’ net, their routines are much more enjoyable to read when “bla bla” has been replaced by equally meaningless palaver. Take this routine, which relies on women being fascinated by mystical nonsense:

Actually,

This is a pick-up artist talking to a horse robot and claiming he just read its personality. If they had continued talking, “her” responses would have continued to be irrelevant (in case you were wondering, next he would have offered to tell her over dinner what aspects of her personality could be divined from her fondness for strawberries, along with her lucky lotto numbers for the week).

Even if a real woman had been involved, this kind of exchange would not constitute real interhuman communication, any more than would an exchange between reality TV actors after having been told by their producer to “bitch up that last take.” Instead, this is a PUA acting out another PUA’s creepy fanfiction verbatim to an ebook aggregator. As one Twitter follower asked, “if a PUA guy talks to horse_ebooks, is anyone really speaking at all?”

Devoid of actual communication, the only remainder of the conversation between @horse_ebooks and a PUA is the context of one man’s desire to have sex with a picture of a woman. As Sam attested, “These people are talking by rote. I’ve had people send the same message to several of my accounts, some in different continents, all with the same avatars. They’re completely oblivious. It’s a horse robot talking to a meat robot.”

But, at the end of the day, conversations on dating websites are regularly initiated and engaged in with that singular goal in mind. In messages between two actual people, the context is both overt and overwhelming, even if participants sometimes refrain from coming right out and saying exactly what they want to do to the other. By that rubric, men using canned PUA routines are as insincere as anyone else flirting online—including, perhaps, @horse_ebooks itself, as Sam suggested:

One of the major criticisms of PUA is the fact that it turns human interaction into this weird grotesque number game. But that’s exactly what online communication does a lot of the time: it follows the logic of the computer, input and output. And given that the horse robot is made out of the ephemera of online language—sales patter, ad copy, technical specifications, whatever—she fits right in on OkCupid, where everyone’s kinda advertising themselves.

OkCupid is itself a numbers name, with analytics ranging from precise compatibility scores to selectivity of responses. The schlubs who blast out hundreds of messages hoping for a nibble are playing a numbers game the site facilitates almost by design. If a man gauges his online dating success solely by the amount of phone numbers he snags, doesn’t it make sense for him to embrace the sexual context that everyone is aware of? Isn’t it more effective to abandon the pretense of engaging in original, real communication and become, well, more like @horse_ebooks?

“Someone said it was an ‘anti-Turing Test,’ and I think that’s kinda true,” wrote Sam, whose personal blog is also worth reading. “In our communications we’re less human than the decontextualised content of those communications; even when it comes to things like love and sex, @horse_ebooks seems more alive than her suitors.”

Or, as @horse_ebooks might put it, “Human Optimization for.”

  • MarkSaysThings

    Probably would have worked with Evilhorseebooks too. Ha.

    https://twitter.com/EvilHorseEbooks

    • http://twitter.com/virgiltexas Virgil Texas

      no

  • Jay042

    Pick Up Artists are little more than fleshy spambots looking to get in your pants instead of your pocketbook.

  • Cynthia’s Name

    “Like all good hustlers, PUAs are loathe to take “no” for an answer, even when they’re talking to a Twitter horse”
    loathe = verb, meaning to hate
    loath = adjective, meaning reluctant.

    • Don Anus

      Thanks Professor Nerd

    • http://www.facebook.com/nickdouglas Nick Douglas

      Thanks, fixed! I mean haha what are you talking about it was never wrong haha we never make mistakes here YOU made the mistake!

      But really thanks.

  • http://twitter.com/DerangedHermit nut high

    Everything happens so much.

  • Can’t Fail

    To become a man a boy has to go out into the world endure hardship, experience pain, try and fail, try and fail, learn, find new things, listen to criticisms that are valid but never take criticisms to heart, and eventually he will have successes. Thats what it takes for him to be that confident, interesting and attractive man you all so desperately crave. But you would cut him off at the knees before hes even begun. Permission must be asked before any attempt is made, and if you attempt something it better be good mister. If “no” is said you better not try a second time. These are the rules to make boys into boys, tolerance and understanding to make a boy into a man.

    • Don Anus

      What the hell are you talking about

    • http://www.facebook.com/nickdouglas Nick Douglas

      Sit down, Brojourner Truth.

      • commenter2000

        Yeah Can’t Fail, haven’t you learned that you aren’t permitted to speak because you have Male Privilege and because you are The Patriarchy? Dumb penis-owners make me so mad!

    • canaduck

      Treating women like subhumans will never make a boy into a “man”.

    • Threadbare

      No one cares if you are a man or not, and especially not what ‘Man’ is defined as now, which is arbitrary and bizarre.

      Just be ‘People’ and love ‘People’.

      • commenter2000

        remember, Just Be Yourself

    • Ashley

      treating women like fellow human beings would bee a good start, not this pua bs. you miss the point

      • weisefading

        What if that doesnt work, its not like you women make it easy for us

  • krom

    This is daft. You seem not to have considered what it might mean to these men that some actual woman might be typing that stuff to them.

    • http://www.radiosilent.org Rachel Kate

      So true! Every heterosexual man searches for that special woman who will call him a sexy jar and then shout MISCELLANEOUS EAR at him a dozen times; it’s a cruel joke to use a computer program to make him think he has at last found The One.

      • Mikey

        Made me laugh

      • weisefading

        yes it is cruel and heartless

  • canaduck

    I love OKC_ebooks almost as much as I hate PUAs.

  • http://www.joyattheheart.com/ Melissa

    Oh my god, this just makes me want to troll a PUA. Where do I find them?

    • Hierophant2

      Go to OKCupid and post a profile. It’s inevitable.

    • Ashley

      yeah, okcupid, or plentyoffish. you can also find them congregating on Reddit in the subreddit /r/seduction. tread carefully, it can be a scary place.

  • Nathan Resick

    it’s pretty clear that in ALL these exchanges the person realizes they are talking to a bot and are just wasting time

    • http://twitter.com/virgiltexas Virgil Texas

      if only

  • LawTroll

    LOL Under NY STATE law you are now a criminal. Way to go Virgil ! Wonder if you will keep your job? I sent this link off to dem authorities, got a reply back in 20 minutes from them. They take this stuff quite serious and shite. Enjoy!

    • http://twitter.com/virgiltexas Virgil Texas

      get outta here law troll

    • http://twitter.com/sam_kriss Sam Kriss

      hello, police? someone said ‘rocket piano – the ultimate piano’ on the internet. yes probably better send a swat team

  • Superabound

    i know Sam Kriss irl and he once burned a swastika in my front lawn with ethnic hair product

    • Superabound

      he also thinks that the abuses of the Abu Ghraib prison complex were “not as big a deal as people made them out to be”

      • http://twitter.com/virgiltexas Virgil Texas

        i didn’t publish it, but in his email Sam Kriss told me he doesn’t use shampoo, he stands under the shower and rinses his hair and thinks that’s totally fine and that shampoo is a waste of money

        • Superabound

          well you sure as hell dont attain sikkk-ass dreadz status like Samuel
          Krisst is sportin by wasting all your time/money on a bunch of bourgeois
          pastes and cleansers like some kind of Persian king. unless of course
          youre just using them to burn hate speech into your black neighbor’s
          (previously) perfectly manicured lawn!

          • http://twitter.com/sam_kriss Sam Kriss

            all these things are true

  • http://twitter.com/virgiltexas Virgil Texas

    th ank you for the investment advice, average white boy

    • Average White Boy

      Any time, homie.

    • weisefading

      anyone who would do something like that is a heartless adn cruel person. exploiting lonely peoples misery for monetary gain, thaths disgusting

      • KonRad

        Then what do you call the people who sell PUA books and “secrets” for three easy payments of 39.99?

  • http://twitter.com/GueuzeLambic Joe R

    What, exactly, would be a “solicited message” on OKC? And if you have an aversion to “unsolicited messages”, then why are you on OKC?

  • Snoeperd

    I don’t get why some women feel the need to put down men who actually put in some work to meet people (call them pick-up artists if you will). Most women i know don’t put in any work at all (!!!!) to meet a partner, yet show the utmost disdain for someone who actually puts in the effort to forge new connections between people.

    If you don’t like the way a pua works DONT TALK TO HIM! Don’t complain that other people should change just because they offend you in some way. The author of article like this remind me of the catholic priest who visited my parents home telling them to shut down the tv and have more children.

    • http://twitter.com/virgiltexas Virgil Texas

      hey ladies i read books with titles like THE SCIENCE OF SECRET SEDUCTION and HOW TO MAKE ANY WOMAN SLEEP WITH YOU i’m not sure why you’re putting me down

      • Snoeperd

        :) can i give you attention somehow?

      • I wrote the long post

        I tell girls that, although its a joke, I do. Like seriously. I tell them I’m into psychology and stuff. The ones who aren’t interested in a guy like me will leave. The worthwhile ones will stay. Such is the flow of life. No?

  • Hydro

    Killer blog post! LOL! The last guy was doing his own version of Strawberry Fields, too funny.

    Great read though.

    http://whattomessagegirls.com

    • http://twitter.com/virgiltexas Virgil Texas

      “Create Usernames That Stand Out” what a helpful service

  • Sue

    “Pickup artists”? I wouldn’t call these guys “artists”.

    • Rock Howell

      “Modern art” then. Like a movie about car crashes.

  • Lucas Qian

    This is brainwash. Seriously, nobody is dumb enough to Do that. I study PUA and the guys who actually try this are actually nice guys who are afraid of showing themselves. Insecure dudes who need a kickstart.
    I am one.
    Pickup artistry isn’t about making the girl sleep with you, it’s about becoming the guy you want to be, to live a great healthy lifestyle and in turn becoming the kind of guy girls would like to be with. There are weirdos out there but that’s like saying every democrat is a rapist because of a few rapists who happen to be democrats.
    You want proof?
    Pickuppodcast.com
    Listen to one episode, any episode.
    Don’t trust anyone but yourself here since for some reason society hates men who try to become popular.

    That’s right, I’m speaking to you. Listen to both sides before you pass judgement.

    • squorn

      lol

    • Antonia

      hey maybe “pick-up artists” (can’t believe these people exist) can become the guys they want to be without harrassing women in the process

    • Virgil Texas

      “Pickup artistry isn’t about making the girl sleep with you”

      then why is it called “pickup artistry” and not “reading The Secret”

      • weisefading

        Its for men who have a hard time finding women. Ther are all sort of guys who are into this, some just want to have as much sex as possible but many of them are doing it because they have no luck with women and want to be able to get a girlfriend or at least a fling and they need some help.

    • hobbsan

      It’s a really nice touch, your assuming that no one here has bothered listening to any of the PUA crap themselves but we’re all just judging it on hearsay. I have listened to some of the crap that was actually recommended by my brother (using the exact same arguments as you do, as a matter of fact) trying to convince me that it wasn’t misogynistic crap. I listened, pointed out the flaws and a few years later he’s more interested in feminist theories than the game, he’s realised he already knew the girl of his dreams and they got married a year ago. So, maybe insecure guys who want to become “the kind of guy girls would like to be with”should focus more on understanding that women are humans than “pickup artistry”.

  • Konrad_Lorenz

    You can’t treat a person as a person when there’s a large majority chance that they won’t reply at all. That kind of naive humanity just evaporates after 100 nonresponses. Eventually you realize you’re spending _most_ of your time writing into a black hole. It’s a solitary activity. There’s not another participant. There is only the possibility that maybe the other participant will materialize. (And if that happens — then you will switch back into “interacting with another human” mode.)

    It’s kind of like door to door sales. After you hit up 100 houses, you really don’t (and can’t) care about the people in them anymore. You no longer take their reactions personally. You focus on what you’re doing, on yourself.

    Maybe this is some kind of social disaster, but it’s certainly not a problem that derives from the personal characteristics of the men involved.

    • Slacktory

      Yes, finding love is exactly like selling vacuums.

  • Just Sayin

    They should have tried neigh-ging it.

Copyright © 2014 My Damn Channel, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Designed in collaboration with Wondersauce.

Google+