Slacktory

banksy1

Ladies and gentlemen, I have stumbled upon the Rosetta Stone of subversive street art: Banksy’s notebook. These ideas and sketches may one day grace the walls of your local bank, or the book section of your local Urban Outfitters, but until then, here’s a sneak preview:

  • A soldier holds a rifle, but the rifle is actually a flower. The flower still shoots bullets, except the bullets are dollar signs. The soldier is Bart Simpson.
  • A little girl holds a balloon. The balloon is actually a policeman. A speech-bubble next to the policeman reads “You are under arrest… for thinking for yourself.”
  • A businessman wearing a gas mask watches television. What’s on TV? It’s the same businessman. That’s right, the TV is a mirror. There is a gas mask on top of the TV.

  • The Queen sits on a solid-gold toilet. There are dollar signs on the toilet. The Queen’s crown is made of bones. She is smiling—or is she? Yes, she is, but it’s a bad smile, actually.
  • A group of schoolboys, all wearing gas masks, do the Gangnam Style dance in a military cemetery (Possibly too subversive?)
  • A mother pushes a stroller. Inside the stroller is one of those big cartoon bombs. The mother is smoking a cigar, and it turns out she is a Wall St. fat cat. The bomb has a gas mask strapped to it.
  • A pig wearing a top hat and a monocle pilots a fighter jet. He fires a missile—but wait—the missile is a hot dog. However: the hot dog is still explosive.
  • A doctor performs surgery on a patient, but the patient is a giant dollar bill. The doctor pulls out the dollar bill’s heart, which is a swastika made of bullets.
  • Try spray-painting “Hammertime” at the bottom of a stop sign.
  • Is it possible to rig up a drive-thru speaker to play poop and fart noises? Investigate further.
  • A baby holds a handgun, and points it at—you guessed it—a giant dollar sign wearing the Pope’s hat.
  • A rat wearing a gas mask crawls out of a sewer pipe. The pipe is labelled “CAPITALISM.”
  • A starving child stares longingly at the McDonald’s Golden Arches. Hold on, though – the Arches are actually the outline of Satan’s butt.
  • The Olympic Rings—with frowny faces inside.
  • Mickey Mouse, but his ears are globes. The ice caps at the top of his ears are melting and there is a speech bubble near Mickey that reads “My ears are burning!” He is wearing a gas mask He is not wearing a gas mask.
  • The Coppertone logo, except the dog is a police dog. The girl is also wearing a bathing suit made out of money.
  • Ronald McDonald wears an army uniform. He is holding a giant French fry like a machine gun. He has a Hitler mustache. The mustache is also a French fry.
  • Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor is held at gunpoint by an Israeli soldier. In the background, Wilson peers over the West Bank barrier.
  • A giant sentient gas mask eats a bowl of cereal, except the cereal is a bunch of little frosted gas masks. The milk is blood (or oil?).
  • The Facebook “Like” symbol, but it’s signifying whether a Roman gladiator should live or die.
  • The Tiananmen Square tank photo, except the tank guy is looking the other way and texting someone on his iPhone. The tank is George W. Bush’s head
  • Find a YIELD sign and spray-paint “To Corporate Interests? Not On Banksy’s Watch!” next to it.
  • Hitler pets a cat. The cat is also Hitler.
  • http://twitter.com/IanBalls Ian Balls

    The NBA logo, but the ball is a bomb. The player is wearing a gas mask.

  • http://twitter.com/IanBalls Ian Balls

    Barack Obama crawls into bed, but the bed is actually Israel.

  • http://twitter.com/IanBalls Ian Balls

    An apartment building where the buzzer plays Stevie Wonder’s “Living for the City”

  • the real banksy

    a girl is looking at a vampire, but the vampire is made of diamonds, oh wait…

  • Henny

    A bloody man is wrapped in a torn European Union flag. He is wearing a gas mask. He he has a beard made out of gas masks. He is standing on a burning Africa.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Butch-McSnutch/100000153572366 Butch McSnutch

      “Beard made out of gas masks.” Lolz

  • Chinksy

    So much more value than a phony twitter account. But not by much.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Nick

      Is it so much or not by much? Come back when you’ve made up your mind, we’ve no time for such sloppiness here.

      • nick has a small cock

        it’s obviously “not by much” you fucking smug asshole,

  • Veryon

    You found the #Banksy2013 clap clap clap clap

  • actually banksy

    A small African boy plays with a ball. On the sidewalk, a container of cardboard gasmasks invites the viewer to bemask the boy. Also there’s a drone strike but of flowers.

  • http://twitter.com/ahm Avery

    Noddy is hanging out of a window by his fingertips. An Israeli soldier with a gun is looking for him.

  • Crowdsourcing

    I hope lots of commenters have other funny things to add to this piece. Take it away, boys and girls.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Butch-McSnutch/100000153572366 Butch McSnutch

    A Syrian hippie is exasperated as he marvels at a double rainbow of poison gas.

  • jackwilsonmc

    a skeleton in a business suit, holding a briefcase that is a slab of bacon.

  • chingocientos ymocodecabrones

    the virgin suicides getting gang banged by iphone 5′s that are playing let it be by the beatles. they are all wearing gas masks

  • David B. Pecchia

    A gas mask wearing CIA scientist in a lab coat developing the next AIDS/addictive drug. The drug has the side-effect of causing peaceful young men to take-up suicide bombings.

  • OfficialBanksy

    A child cowers before an anthropomorphic Star of David, but the star is actually a puppet controlled by George H. W. Bush & Saudi Arabian Intel Chief, Prince Bandar.

  • shovelhead77

    It’s gas masks, all the way down.

  • KK

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read on the internet in 10 years.

  • Jg7368

    This is and will continue to be the funniest article of all time.

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