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It is safe to say that topical Twitter parody accounts are literally the funniest and most epic thing in the entire “cyber-verse.” Remember all those Big Bird jokes from a couple months back? Trite, unoriginal garbage, right? Okay, now hold on a second. What if the person telling those jokes—was pretending to be Big Bird? I’ll give you some time to process that.

These days, it seems like every major news story has an accompanying topical parody account. Kate Middleton is pregnant? Parody account. Kanye West wears a skirt? Parody account. A natural disaster devastates the Eastern seaboard? Parody account.

If 2012 was “The Year of the Meme” (a phrase I am working to trademark) then 2013 is shaping up to be “The Year of the Topical Parody Account” (again, working to trademark). Here are my predictions for the Twelve Funniest Topical Parody Accounts of 2013:


January

News Item: A 15-second video of a cat using a fire extinguisher goes viral, gaining 10 million views in a matter of days.

Parody Accounts: @CatFireExtngshr, @FireExtngshrCat

Sample Tweets: 

FireExtinguisherCat

CatFireExtngshr2

February

News Item: Kirk Douglas suffers a heart attack at the Academy Awards.

Parody Accounts: @DyingKDouglas, @KirkDouglasHeart

Sample Tweets:

DyingKirkDouglas1

DyingKirkDouglas

March

News Item: Scientists successfully clone a baby wooly mammoth.

Parody Accounts: @BabyMammoth, @ClonedMammoth

Sample Tweets:

BabyMammoth1

BabyMammoth

April

News Item: President Obama is overheard saying “Weed is cool” at a state function.

Parody Accounts: @ObamaSaysWeedIsCool, @ObamaWeedCool

Sample Tweets:

ObamaWeedCool ObamaWeedCool1

May

News Item: Guy Fieri crashes his Lamborghini into the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

Parody Accounts: @FieriTombLambo, @UnknownTombFieri

Sample Tweets:FieriTombLambo FieriTombLambo1June

News Item: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian get engaged.

Parody Accounts: @KimsRing, @KanyeProposal

Sample Tweets: KimsRing KimsRing1
July

News Item: The Royal Baby is born to William and Kate.

Parody Accounts: @RoyalBaby, @BabyRoyalty, @REALRoyalBaby

Sample Tweets: 

RoyalBaby1 RoyalBaby
August

News Item: Bottlenose dolphins go extinct.

Parody Accounts: @LastDolphin, @ExtinctDolphin

Sample Tweets: LastDolphin LastDolphin1

September

News Item: Joe Biden shits his pants at a White House press conference.

Parody Accounts: @BidenShitPants, @PoopyBidenPants

Sample Tweets:

BidenShitPants1

BidenShitPants

October

News Item: A pug runs on the field at a World Series game.

Parody Accounts: @WorldSeriesPug, @BaseballPug, @PugSelig

Sample Tweets: WorldSeriesPug WorldSeriesPug1

November

News Item: Hurricane Sebastien ravages the east coast, leaving hundreds dead and causing billions of dollars in damage.

Parody Accounts: @HurricaneSebastien, @RealHurricaneSeb

Sample Tweets: 

HurricaneSebastien HurricaneSebastien1

December

News Item: Psy releases “Gangnam Style, Part II.”

Parody Accounts: @GangnamTwo, @GangnamDeux, @GangnamStyleII, @Gangnam2, @GangnamStyle2, @SecondGangnam, @GANGNAM_PART2, @GangnamSequel, @GangnamPsyquel, @GangnamTheSecond, @PsyGangnam2, @GangnamToo, @GangnamStyle2, @2ndGangnam, @Psy2Gangnam, @GangnamPartII, @GangnamPart2, @GangnamPartTwo, @TwoGangnam2, @DoubleGangnam, @Gangnam2tyle, @Gangnam2Gangnam, @GangnamStyleTwo, @Part2Gangnam, @Gangnam2Parody, @Gangnam2Official, @REALGangnam2, @REAL_Gangnam2, @REAL__Gangnam2, @REAL___Gangnam2, @REAL____Gangnam2, @REAL_____Gangnam2, @G2ngn2m2ty2e, @GANGNAM2REAL

Sample Tweets: GangnamStyle1 GangnamStyle

Remember, these are just one man’s predictions. Who knows what 2013 will bring? One thing is certain, though: whenever a news story breaks, there will always be an asshole running to his laptop to lazily anthropomorphize it.

Read more by Boring As Heck on Tumblr and on Twitter.

  • mickey

    this was great, I laughed the whole time I was reading

  • http://twitter.com/_Torque_Lewith [Construction Noise]

    *cries*

  • butt

    I’m dead

  • Samer

    This was fantastic

  • Kelsey

    im so glad youre writing for a legit publication now, your stuff is so great.

  • Buster

    U so funny

  • http://twitter.com/Shuruppag Shuruppag

    Wow, we’ve all collectively jumped the shark. Kind of a bummer that Dec. 21 came and went…

    • http://toomuchnick.com Nick

      Start a parody account about it!

  • http://twitter.com/TeeHeeSammy Sammy

    @TeeHeeSammy … trust me.

  • Femdimes

    My favorite funny twitter account is probably @DearDudez

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