Slacktory

jerry-maguire

9/11.
Columbine.
Jerry Maguire.

What do these three things have in common? If you said they were all national tragedies, then well, one could argue that Jerry Maguire has a pretty sizable fan base. However, if you guessed TRAGIC VIDEO REMIXES, you’d be sadly correct (and unusually intuitive, I have to say). In the case of Jerry Maguire, actual film dialogue is even used. When it comes to real life news events, songs are cut with actual news reports from the day of the tragedy.

Do you like Jewel’s “Hands?” Well, if you haven’t heard “Hands, the 9/11 remix,” then what have you been doing with your life? (Don’t answer that.) How much better does it sound with Katie Couric talking about the towers falling?

Remember the horrible school shooting at Columbine High School in 1999? Apparently, so does Sarah McLachlan. Her “I Will Remember You,” got the the tragic news remix treatment.

It’s unclear if the people behind these remixes are affiliated with the artist’s record labels. What is clear is that it’s bizarre that people are mixing in news reports to make already-sad ballads appear even more devastating. Not only that, but these remixers are thoughtlessly forever linking songs that originally had nothing to do with these events. Strangely, this remix phenomenon seems to be confined to approximately six year period between the late ’90s and the early ’00s. However, don’t let that stop you, the format could really be applied to almost anything.

Two examples of film soundtrack songs that are “enhanced” with dialogue are the Bruce Springsteen’s “Secret Garden, Jerry Maguire Remix” (arguably one of the worst songs ever) and Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On, Titanic Remix.” If only the radio had been around when the real Titanic sank, we’d probably have “Roamin’ in the Gloamin, Real Titanic Remix.”

Bruce Springsteen’s “Secret Garden, Jerry Maguire Remix”

Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On, Titanic Remix.”

I thought it’d be fun (fun?) to list some tragedy remix missed opportunities. Aspiring remixers might wanna grab these and run with them. You’re welcome.

The Top 5 Missed Opportunities For A Tragic Remix (Sorry, In Advance):

  1. Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe, the Dark Knight Rises Massacre Remix”
  2. Usher Feat. Will.i.am’s “OMG, the BP Oil Spill Remix”
  3. Montell Jordan’s “This is How We Do It, the Oklahoma City Bombing Remix”
  4. Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way, the Japanese Tsunami Remix”
  5. Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together, the Hurricane Katrina Remix”

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