Slacktory is going into hurricane preparedness mode! We’re learning lots about hurricanes. For example, did you know there’s a hurricane coming? That’s a hurricane fact!
Follow these tips to get through Hurricane Sandy:
- Fill your bathtub with water.
- Fill a lot of jars with water.
- Turn your microwave on its side and fill it with water.
- Drink lots of water, so if the storm blows a jellyfish on you and it stings you, you can pee on the wound (and the jellyfish; pee is their weakness).
- Stock up on Vitamin Water. Vitamin Water: A hurricane of vitamins in your mouth ™.
- Build an emergency kit out of papier-mâché or old clothes. Or just use your imagination!
- Identify levees and dams. What does a levee actually look like?
- Secure your property. Padlocks on everything.
- If you own a boat, fuck you.
- Turn off your utilities: Power, water, internet. Breathe through a plastic shopping bag to conserve air.
- Get social! Call 911 for information on hashtags, ideal photo filters, and whether “Frankenstorm’s Monster” “clarifications” are still considered clever, or are now a bit cheesy.
Photo by/CC NASA Goddard Space Flight Center on Flickr