Slacktory

lindsaylohan

It’s not easy being a Lindsey. In fifth grade I tried to change the spelling of my name to “Linzy” without anyone noticing, but a teacher soon asked me to “stop handing in homework with the wrong name on it.” In college, a Fresh Direct deliveryman suggested we elope, as his last name was Lindsey and if we wed, I’d be “Lindsey Lindsey.” Don’t think I didn’t heavily consider this option.

Whenever a Lindsa/ey meets another Lindsa/ey, the first question is: “How do you spell your name?” (If the answer is ANYTHING but “Lindsey” or “Lindsay”, get out of town. I pretty much hate you.) The answer can divide them. In the past, “a” was highly superior to “e”. Maybe because “a” was more popular and more commonly a girl’s name. Now, I’ll argue (with a bias), that us Lindseys are taking over. Why? Have you heard of Lindsay Lohan?

Lindsay Lohan has singlehandedly (ah, well, she probably used both hands) devalued the “Lindsay” legacy. Meanwhile, she’s also raising the “Lindsey” stock. For that (and for Mean Girls), we thank you.  How about other Lindse/ays, where do they stand?

He wrote the book Dexter! The inspiration for the TV show Dexter! He can stay. 
Yikes.
#1 Lindsey, A+ Work!
Mixed feelings about Lindsey Graham, as he is no Lindsey Buckingham and voted against gay adoption. 
A very sporty Lindsey!
Probably the most famous Lindsay other than Lohan? She was The Bionic Woman, which is probably feminist enough to erase the time Lilo ran over someone’s foot with her car. Not the other time, just that one time. 
Fictional yes, but also badass…also yes. 

A “Lindsay”, for sure.

(For other (wrong) ways to spell Lindsa/ey, see: Lindsea, Lindsie, Lindsy, Lindzee, Lindzie, Linsay, Linsi, Linsie, Linzey, Linzie, Lyndsay, Lyndsea, Lyndsee, Lyndsey, Lynzi, Lynnzee, Lynzea, Lynzee, Lendsi, Lendsy, Lensey, Lindsee, Lindze, Linsday, Linsey, Linsy, Linze, Linzee, Linzi, Linzy, Lynnsey and Lynsey.)

  • Lindsey

    As a Lindsey I can attest to the general populaces utter inability to properly spell ‘Lindsey’. I’ve been referenced as ‘Lyndzaay’ on reciepts and by professors. How such a simple name causes so much confusion I will never understand.

    Since I live in China I have adopted the common phonetic translation of Lindsey, 林赛 (línsài), meaning ‘battle of the forest’, which I think would be a good name for a LARPer or an orc.

    • Lindsey (the writer of this)

      This is the best comment. I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH!

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