This morning I woke up to a flutter of emails. As a self-identified Tom Hanks fan, Stan and aficionado, my friends and web colleagues know to IMMEDIATELY send me anything Hanks is involved in. Therefore, when Hanks’ youngest, an adorable 16 year old high school student named Truman, decided to do a Reddit AMA this AM, I was notified. As I scrolled through, it was pretty innocuous–everything confirming the perfect specimen that Tom Hanks truly is. At least until I got to this part:
Of course Tom Hanks’ other son, infamous wannabe Playboy rapper Chet Haze has a Reddit account. This, I thought, was a given. Another given? That his username was “chethaze” and that, like the commenter below him says, he spends lots of time on /r/trees (that’s like, Marijuana, not Oak) and commenting on pictures of hot girls.
Apparently Chet isn’t as self-aware as I am (about him, that is) so he immediately scrambled to to an AskReddit forum to ask HOW TO DELETE HIS ACCOUNT (whoops!) Gawker picked up on this pretty quickly, put up their commentary, and Haze denied it all on Twitter:
I do not try to pick up girls on the Internet… I do it in real life. Leave it to @gawker to spread lies for no reason. Lames.
— Chester M. Hanks (@CHETHAZE) October 10, 2012
The “fake” Haze account was soon deleted, but not before Gawker had saved all evidence of Haze complimenting women, inviting everyone to Chicago (Haze does go to Northwestern), and showing off his impressive vaporizers. Now all that remains is a comment, in Russian, answering someone’s post asking if they should move to Moscow. The Google translation of that answer? “I live in Moscow for four years, and I like it. I think you will too.” Right.
Meanwhile, if someone was truly just casually impersonating Haze on Reddit, they were doing a fantastic job. Pretty much all of his public interests (weed, girls, celebrities, hip-hop) were covered. Here’s more of THE_REAL_HAZE on Twitter:
Smokin a b, listening to Wagner, and reading the memoirs of Emperor Tiberius Claudius… #GetOnMyLevel
— Chester M. Hanks (@CHETHAZE) October 9, 2012
“beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy” -Benjamin Franklin
— Chester M. Hanks (@CHETHAZE) September 14, 2012
Pop it fa pimp
— Chester M. Hanks (@CHETHAZE) September 2, 2012
PS This does not in any way affect my deep devotion to Tom Hanks. I love you.