Slacktory

Veggie Tales as Pixar movie

The recent only-pretty-great Brave and the upcoming prequel Monsters University are making some Pixar fans worry that the company is losing its way, if you totally ignore Wreck-It Ralph. We found this definitely-real list of Pixar’s planned films:

A Cash Adventure — Anthropomorphized money feels bad when it’s stockpiled by a gangster. So it plans a little “crime spree” of its own!

Wireless Plan — Sammy the Motorola flip phone falls in love with an iPhone. With the help of its Bluetooth sidekick, Sammy manages to switch from Boost Mobile to AT&T to be with its love.

Battleship Again

Swept Away — What if cleaning supplies were actually aliens?

Dictionary — What if words were actually bugs?

Monsters 501(c)(3)

New Leaf — A gang of potted plants team up to fight their cactus bullies. But they’re gonna have to break a few Plant Rules! Miranda July voices Crystal, a heroic African Violet.

Cars, But They’re Toy Cars

Sex Toy Story — Woody and the other toys explore Bonnie’s house and find her mom’s playthings. Includes a fun interlude where Buzz skates on a pool of lube, and an extended graphic sex scene involving Woody and Bo Peep, because they are two grown adults and that is nothing to be ashamed of.

  • MilesLothe

    Wreck-it Ralph isn’t even Pixar – though Pixar is owned by Disney and has the same President and CCO, it is a separate studio and none of Pixar’s creative team worked on Ralph.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Nick

      True! Though Pixar director John Lasseter is the executive producer.

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