burrito terror

Today I grabbed lunch. And they fucked up my order. And I fucking panicked. Because I knew I’d have to complain to someone.

And then I panicked because I accidentally ate bleu cheese and that’s nasty.

It felt weird, having this awful anxiety and then also spitting out a bunch of bleu cheese into a trash can on the sidewalk.

And then, going up to the cashier, I didn’t want to position it like it was some petty complaint. “I said no tomatoes,” etc. Fuck you, take off that one tomato slice.

So I gave her this bag with my burrito with one bite taken out of it.

Which she TOOK.

Like, what’s she going to do? Take it back to the lab? ”It would appear he took a bite of it.”

And then when I gave it to her I mentioned that bleu cheese makes me gag. And I worried that when she handed that bag to someone they asked “What’s wrong with it?” and she’d say “It had bleu cheese on it. It makes him gag” (she points at me, and I shrug as if to say “guilty as charged, I’m a gagger”).

When I left, my bag was just sitting there. Near where they make the food, in the back. Were they waiting for me to go before they could throw it out? Or did they just forget quickly?

Someone might pick up that bag and ask “Uh, what’s in here?” and then look in there and see my one-bite-missing burrito and be like “What the fuck, why do we have this?”

“Remember that gagger?”

I debated never ordering the buffalo burrito ever again, just because it’s totally ruined if they forget to take out the bleu cheese. But my god it was fucking delicious.

Photo by/CC Jeffrey W on Flickr

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