Google Image search for dumb-looking animals

  • Honeybee: Teach hive how to Dougie
  • Hawk: Body-snark a rodent from 100 yards
  • Pelican: “Chubby Bunny”
  • Dayfly: Leave good-looking corpse

  • Hippo: Brag endlessly about how you’re far more dangerous than people assume
  • Mountain Goat: Reach platinum level on your REI card
  • Patagonian Toothfish: Fill out change-of-name form
  • Meerkat: Accurately perform half of “Hakuna Matata”
  • Seal: Throw beer can at a sea lion
  • Housefly: Don’tstandstilldon’tstandstilldon’tstandstill
  • Dolphin: Fail human Turing test by never acting pissed off
  • Fox: Give an undetected back-handed compliment
  • Jellyfish: No test necessary, jellyfish don’t give a fuck
  • Horny Toad: Go “hurr hurr hurr” every time someone calls you over.
  • Horse: Generally be a prick
  • Anaconda: Give five-star Netflix rating to Anaconda
  • Manatee: “My name is Chubby Cheeks”
  • Chihuahua: Pee on most expensive item in room
  • Chimpanzee: Wear tuxedo and pretend to do Turing test like a proper gentleman; laugh to chimp buddies later like it was all ironic
  • Crocodile: Don’t evolve for 55 million years
  • Camel: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
  • Stingray: Say “Why not Zoidberg?” and do that blubbery thing with your wing-fins
  • Coral: Play the long con
  • Hyena: Lose tickling contest and get really upset, saying “I’m not actually enjoying it just because I’m laughing”
  • Honey-badger: Get 10,000 YouTube subscribers
  • Oyster: Quit job and open a jewelry store on Etsy
  • Polar Bear: Coke and Mentos Challenge followed by alphabet-burp
  • Sloth: Smoke entire bowl without coughing
  • Platypus: Perform five other animal Turing tests

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