Slacktory

Chicago tour bus

On your right you’ll see the Wrigley Building, known for its FUCKING MOVE YOU STUPID ASSHOLE.

On your left, you’ll see a building with beautiful gothic architecture [hears honking below] WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT

FUCKING GO

GO

TED

[stomps foot]

TED

ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING STAND FOR THIS

HONK YOUR HORN

LONGER

HONK YOUR HORN LONGER, TED

TELL THIS ASSHOLE TO MOVE

[points] Note the flying buttresses up there. They’re really old.

[more honking]

GO AROUND US

JESUS FUCK, WE’RE TALKING ABOUT THESE OLD BUILDINGS

I KNOW YOU CAN FUCKING HEAR ME. [looks down at a driver, points at microphone]

FUCKING GO AROUND

ARE YOU NOT GOING BECAUSE YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE BUILDINGS?

THIS FUCKING TOUR ISN’T FREE

GET OUTTA HERE

[whispers to crowd on bus, away from microphone, giving the tour so the guy in the car can't hear]

[whispers more, points at car down below, continues whispering]

YOU’RE RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE, YOU KNOW

THEY ALL AGREE WE HATE YOU

WELCOME TO HISTORIC CHICAGO.

Photo by Michael Pereckas on Flickr

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