Slacktory

Unhappy couples in bed

While researching a premature ejaculation joke, I discovered hundreds of stock photos, all of unhappy couples in bed.

All unhappy couples are not unhappy in their own way. I’ve learned that unhappy couples wear a lot of clothes to bed, and that they sit on opposite sides and hold their heads a lot. Their bedrooms are usually white. The men rest pillows in their laps. They are definitely not having sex.

Unhappy couples feel monochromatic:

Unhappy couples are posing for a ska band photo:

Unhappy couples match tank tops to PJ bottoms:

Unhappy couples only dated you because you look like Mark Wahlberg:

Unhappy couples can’t decide whether to trust an electronic thermometer:

Unhappy couples want to talk about her leg:

Unhappy couples look at the camera:

Unhappy couples know where to put their arms:

Unhappy couples dress contrastingly:

Unhappy couples have been unhappy for decades:

Unhappy couples have headaches:

Unhappy couples are roleplaying Hotel Chevalier:

Unhappy couples effectively moisturized:

Unhappy couples have a little hand-signal worked out so no one ever has to verbally turn down sex:

Unhappy couples think they hear their parents in the driveway:

Unhappy couples wear a bra to bed:

Unhappy couples are unconvinced by the wood paneling:

Unhappy couples don’t know how to unhook her bra:

Unhappy couples have checked the stork every morning for a month and it never has a baby:

Unhappy couples made Bo Burnham cry:

Unhappy couples left incriminating handprints on the head of the bed:

  • http://shivian.com Shivian Balaris

    I found the problem. All of these people are trying to have straight relationships. Go gay, you’ll be much happier (and get laid a lot more to boot!)

  • Well Done

    Brilliant

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