Slacktory

candy music video header

There’s a Japanese pop artist who’s taking the world (i.e. everywhere but America) by STORM right now, and her name is Kyary Pamyu Pamyu. She started her career as a Harajuku fashion model. If you’ve ever seen Harajuku fashion, you may think it’s a word that translates to “tissue garbage”, but it’s actually the name of an area in Tokyo! So, given her background in bonkers Japanese fashion, it should come as no surprise that her music videos are crazy enough to put also-wears-garbage Lady Gaga to shame.

Her music video for “Candy” starts off with a sense of urgency, with our protagonist running down the street in heels with a piece of toast in her mouth.

Is she late for work, or is this the toast-in-mouth thing just Harajuku fashion? Also she appears to be wearing the remains of a cartoon mushroom. Fashion!

Then, as she runs, it’s revealed that there are some children in a dark room somewhere, and they each have a number 1-4 painted on their faces. Maybe this is because someone didn’t have a digital clock for a proper countdown, or maybe they just hate children. “I dislike children, so I’ll tell them we don’t have a clock. Get me a marker,” grumbled the kid-hatin’ art director.

Kyary Pamyu Pamyu arrives in the studio where the countdown children are hanging out, and they all start dancing! An onion puppet looks on as Kyary sings the chorus:

Candy, candy, candy candy candy!
Sweetie, sweetie! Girls love!
Chewing, chewing, chewing chewing chewing!
Cutie, cutie. Chew-chew-chew chewing love!

I like the chorus because it talks about the part of candy (and all eating, I guess) that we’re all too quick to dismiss: chewing. Boy, do I love chewing! I’m glad someone finally wrote that not only mentions chewing, but says it five times in a row while people dance. Chewing really is the most underrated part of eating. Chewing is the Ringo Starr of eating.

And then, in steps some kind of impostor Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, and he(?) pops and locks for a bit.

Then Kyary lies down on a pink cotton candy davenport and eats a comically large lollipop while Fake Kyary dances with the Countdown Children.

And then I guess Kyary decides she’s not cool with Fake Kyary anymore and goes Super Saiyan.

And then she uses her new powers for slow-motion dropkicking, mostly.

The onion puppet goes Super Saiyan, too, but it doesn’t dropkick anybody.

I guess it mostly just got a nose out of the deal. Not bad, Onion Puppet.

And then I guess by that point the narrative of the music video is over. Kyary dances with the Countdown Children, the onion puppet sings along by opening its Terrence & Phillip mouth, and Fake Kyary gets to hang out in the background.

This goes to show that no matter how much food Lady Gaga wears as clothes, there’s always going to be something like this coming out of Japan. Don’t ever change, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu. Now that we’ve basically described the whole video, you can watch it here:

This concludes our first installment of The GIF Treatment. Our goal was to break down a video we liked into a series of GIFs and then talk about why we liked the video. (Though, in all honesty, this was just a nice side effect of me wanting to practice making my own GIFs from YouTube videos.)

Did you like what you saw here? Should we do this with something else? Let us know in the comments. Special bonus thing! We’ve dumped these GIFs into a Tumblr post. Enjoy.

  • welllahdeedah

    Definitely should have made a gif of the scene when she goes all Rambo and shoots the onion with a (pink? probably) tommy-gun.

    • http://www.twitter.com/tehawesome Henry

      Ooooh, good call! I’m still learning. I’ll do that one soon.

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