man looks in mirror at man

This post is for connoisseurs of internet weirdos. It’s not wild and crazy, but it has a refined eccentricity.

So there’s this 3-minute film about Medusa-fighting treasure hunters by Corridor Digital. It’s an excellent use of special effects to drive a story mechanic.

Most comments gleefully pointed out continuity errors, or complimented the story and the effects in general. But an account named StatueConversion wrote:

These are arguably the BEST petrification scenes I’ve ever seen! Congratulations on a superb job! The sound effects during the stoning are PERFECT!

I clicked on the username, obviously. StatueConversion is super-excited about people turning into statues. He (or she, but, come on) finds statue-transformation scenes in films, TV shows, music videos, and commercials, and uploads them to his YouTube channel.

Take a guess how many videos he’s uploaded. Go on.

906 videos. All of people freezing in place.

StatueConversion categorizes each video in the title: Statue Conversion, Timestop Freeze, Ice Statue Freeze, Mannequin Conversion, or occasionally Doll Transformation. He further adds codes to some clips. He comments on one of his videos:

MIP = Moan Of Imminent Petrification. Something I look for and value in a petrification scene.

StatueConversion titles the clips with descriptions of the statue transformation process. He tends to leave out all identification of his sources, possibly to avoid intellectual property detection. This brings other statue enthusiasts, with comments like:

Darkside Blues is the name of this one. I found the whole movie to be good, almost classic. Too bad the gold process was interrupted. I think it is one of the best ‘turning into gold’ sequences i have ever seen in any animated program.

On another clip, instead of answering a commenter’s question about the source, StatueConversion complains about the lowest-common-denominator tastes of the Alt.Sex.Fetish.Robots community:

I got it from the internet. It took quite a long time to find, but I wanted it badly, so I found it. Lord knows why I put it up, because no one really cares about any video I upload. If it has a girl in it (especially lesbianism to boot), that’s all they care about. ASFR + Lesbianism = the highest form of admiration this community knows. Very sad. There are so many other great asfr video clips I’ve uploaded, but no one gives a damn about any of those. The state of affairs of the asfr community.

I just love imagining this guy sitting and typing this, a tear down his cheek as he laments what art could have achieved, if only the robot-fappers could stop obsessing about girl-on-girl and truly appreciate the process of skin-to-gold transmutation, or the voice acting of a Glass Maiden villain anticipating her death.

It’s nice to know that everywhere on the internet, weirdness surrounds us. Any watchable YouTube video is just a little inn of refuge, surrounded by the beast-filled wilderness. And oh what monsters dwell without.

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