Slacktory

Posts Published July 2012

  1. And Then There Were None cover with bikini model

    Data Points: Bikinis and Book Covers

    • Swimwear matched to book covers. The idea’s good enough, but the execution is impeccable. [MATCHBOOK]
    • “Will’s piece on Santorum goes viral. Mackenzie’s Macbook keeps doing that spinny wheel thing when she tries to open Outlook.” “Will’s contract is up for renewal. The girls’ menses attract lions to the office.” [@HBONewsroom on Twitter].
    • “A lot of you have been asking about my beauty routine well here it is when I wake up in the morning I bathe my face in milk and then bacon fat to keep it well hydrated haha and then before I go to bed I meditate at dusk by the light of the moon and then bathe my face in a solution of my own tears and ammonia that I have kept in this vintage crystal bottle I found on Etsy omg” — Things We Might Read on a Fashion Blog [This Recording]
  2. girl plays Justin Bieber

    Funny Video Roundup: Boys, Obama, Spiderman

    We’ve got hella videos today! Lots of funny videos. Buckets. Truckloads of funny videos.

    Eight. We’ve got eight videos.

    Watch them. One’s about Spider-Man, one’s about jumping on cars, one’s a parody of ‘Girls’. »

  3. girls performing industrial dance

    Slacktory’s Guide to Industrial Dance

    Ever see gothy kids rhythmically pumping their arms in a mall parking lot? That was Industrial Dance. Here’s how it works.

    Watch Alex Moschina break down Industrial Dance. »

  4. one hundred dollars

    Twitter Rolls Out More New Linkable Symbols

    After making stock symbols (like $HLYS) clickable in tweets, Twitter added functions to the rest of the symbol lineup. Here’s each symbol and what it links to.

    • !misogyny: problematic themes in this week’s Newsroom episode
    • %parallelbars: Predicted Olympic event winners, should NBC choose to reveal them
    • ;BreakingBad: GIF recaps
    • ^movingtocanada: Seemingly idiotic tweets that were actually witty banter
    • +LanaDelRey: Mentions of any person, but fat
    • ?JohnCena: Pro wrestlers maintaining kayfabe
    • *bugsbunnyandlola: Rule 34 pictures
    • &insidejob: Conversations on the truer, better version of Twitter that all the smart people use

    Photo by/CC Cuttlefish on Flickr

  5. candy music video header

    GIF Treatment: “Candy Candy” by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

    There’s a Japanese pop artist who’s taking the world (i.e. everywhere but America) by STORM right now, and her name is Kyary Pamyu Pamyu. She started her career as a Harajuku fashion model. If you’ve ever seen Harajuku fashion, you may think it’s a word that translates to “tissue garbage”, but it’s actually the name of an area in Tokyo! So, given her background in bonkers Japanese fashion, it should come as no surprise that her music videos are crazy enough to put also-wears-garbage Lady Gaga to shame.

    Her music video for “Candy” starts off with a sense of urgency, with our protagonist running down the street in heels with a piece of toast in her mouth.

    And then it gets weirder. »

  6. rat tails on google images

    Reddit’s “What Did You Used to Think Was Cool?” Thread Makes You Want to Burn Old Pictures

    Guilty pleasures can be a controversial topic. Some people argue that if you enjoy something, you should enjoy it wholeheartedly and without shame. While I personally agree, sometimes I can’t help but be a little embarrassed by the things I love — like fluffy teen pop music. But nothing quite compares to the shame of a past obsession, the thing you once thought was beyond cool, the very definition of rad, yet now recall with horror.

    Redditor damarust admits that for him, it was velcro shoes. He asked his fellow users, asking, “What is something you used to think was cool but now realize is not?

    Nicnak1118 didn’t quite have the coordination of his fellow classmates:

    In middle school it was really cool to touch your middle finger to your thumb then shake your hand up and down really fast making your pointer finger smack into your middle finger and thumb. This made a snapping sound. I could never do it, and I was SO envious that everyone else could.

    Jiggjuggjogg gives it a try, with less than desirable results:

    I just tried it and looked like I was giving a handjob. I think I may be doing it wrong.

    Look_at_me tries to help out:

    Try it without a penis in your hand.

    Read more confessions of fads gone wrong »

  7. Klepper and Grey talk about poops

    Klepper and Grey: Poop Brunch

    Klepper and Grey (we’ve written them up before) make comedy sketches for adults. Like, sketches that treat you like an adult audience. In this one, they show that adults need affirmation too.

    Watch Klepper and Grey deal with a toddler at brunch. »

  8. Great Lines From Wikipedia: “Butts Up” and “Flat Buns”

    Butts Up (A.K.A. “Red Butt,” “Blackjack,” “wallball” “Slaughterhouse,” “Fumble,” “Butt Ball,” “Asses Up,” “Suicides,” “Stitch,” “Peg,” “Fire in the Bum,” “A-Ball,” “Buns Up,” “Booties Up”, “No Fear,” “Red Bum,” “Red Ass,” “Sting,” “Error”, “Off the Wall”,”Kirby”, or “Burn”) is a North American elementary school children’s playground game originating in the 1950s or earlier.

    Butts Up (via Cole Stryker)

    Throughout Krispy’s video, The Baddest, Krispy boasted he had 400 cars, scars and 400 of several other items while having snot running down his nose which led to several comments on the video telling him to get 400 tissues.

    Krispy Kreme (rapper)

    The episode is identical to “Mole Hunt,” except the part of Archer is played by a velociraptor. All lines of dialogue are replaced by roars and other “velociraptor sounds.”

    List of Archer episodes

    He is the son of a developmental psychologist dad and a free spirited Bohemian mother.

    John Wozniak

    This ridiculously small hat is extremely incongruous with this gentleman’s head size and is extremely inferior to other hats for covering the head.

    Ridiculous

    And there are two young white males and they start rapping about “flat buns”, as the commercial was advertising how the Patty Melt Sandwich was on “flat buns”.

    Carl’s Jr.

  9. shitty apartment bedroom

    Journal of a Temporary Bachelor

    My wife drove back to Iowa with our dog for two weeks to see her family, leaving me to fend for myself. I kept an activity log of my time for posterity’s sake.

    DAY 1: Saw rest of party off to new adventure. Manning homestead solo now. Supplies are in good shape. Spirits high, if a little tired. Unsure where this clean serving dish goes. Made friends with 3 bugs, all of which are dead now. Haven’t worn pants since 11 am.

    DAY 3: Spilled beer on a pillowcase and tossed it in a corner for “later” (unsure what that even means anymore). Have taken up permanent residence on the couch, effectively shutting off the second floor altogether. Woke up in hot sweat, glued to leather couch. Thermostat has now learned its lesson. Spirits remain high.

    Read the rest of the temporary bachelor’s journey to the heart of darkness. »

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