bowl of rice

Everyone’s writing this piece today (Facebook’s IPO day), but it’s after 10:30 and we’re supposed to have two posts up on Slacktory by now, so we don’t have time to meticulously research and illustrate this piece like BuzzFeed’s Katie Notopoulos did.

Things you could buy for the price of one share of Facebook:

  • $38 worth of rice
  • Several gallons of gas (varies by location)
  • A twenty-dollar bill, a ten-dollar bill, a five-dollar bill, a one-dollar bill, and two hundred pennies to throw at cars passing by the bank, shouting “This is my fuck-you money!”
  • A lot of paper, but less than you’d think, especially if you get the environmentally-conscious shit. Don’t waste this stuff
  • Probably a fuckload of tap water
  • Sponsorship of this post, even though it’s really sweary
  • One attempted handstand, on demand, from a kid under 13 you haven’t met before (in a public place)
  • A $38 calling card, I think they sell those at any amount you want now, somebody please check that for me
  • Some Google ads
  • Some Facebook ads? I’ve never bought Facebook ads
  • 50 different penny stocks (if there’s anywhere that doesn’t charge a broker’s fee)
  • In fact isn’t this whole concept meaningless when not only does every stock transaction include additional costs, but some yokel trying to buy a single share of stock has to get in line behind the entire financial industry?

Photo CC by Lali Masriera on Flickr

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