Sage: hey hun last nite was great but I am breaking up with you
Mia: what? that was our first date
Kylie: hey babe whered you go?
Sage: I need to bang this other chick in an hour, get out of my way
Brooklyn: Why are you such a flaky asshole?
Sage: I blame my mom, she rewarded this behavior and didn’t even know how to hold a camera right
Brooklyn: OMG, I just realized you’re that kid from the video in 2012! Are you rich?
Sage: No I got, like, one Dr. Pepper ad deal out of it but my dick older cousin got a walk-on at the end and my mom wasted all the money suing him
Sage: hey sexy are you DTF? what’s your name?
Olivia: You just fucked me last Saturday, then physically pushed me out of bed so you could fuck a girl with black and white spotted hair who shouted like Jay-Z.
Sage: This metaphor really broke down quickly.