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Thank you for the universal praise for “20 Guys Trying to Bang a Total Psycho on OkCupid“! We’re proud of every commenter ever for recognizing comedy, irony and hyperbole! Everyone saw clearly how the butt of the joke is Marla herself, because we explained it super-clearly because we’re very professional and perfect. As a reward, here are 12 more conversations with Marla, a crazy person made up for a fake OkCupid account.

Because OkCupid decided this joke was too good to let slowly devolve into a tired gag, they’ve closed Marla’s account. This will be the last-ever collection of Marla’s OkCupid conversations until she makes another account.


Previously: 20 Guys Trying to Bang a Total Psycho on OkCupid

  • Jake Lee

    So far OkCupid seems to be just creepy guys hunting out creepy guys for creepy activities.

    I wonder if they all know that they’re single due to the way they interact with others. Probably not!

  • Josef Balcerak

    What exactly are these articles supposed to prove? That many men will do virtually anything to get with a cute girl? (Don’t kid yourself: Men typically need to see about 4 square inches of skin to decide they’re attracted to someone. Your friend Ed was right, and I’m sure you’re well aware that the profile pic highlights some of your nice features — trim figure, defined jaw and neck, and thick, pretty hair.) This truth is as old as time — it’s not news!

    And what kind of responses did you expect when you portrayed yourself as a faceless white-trash caricature? (Never mind the fact that you posted in NYC, the weirdo Mecca of the Western world.) Believe it or not, you can attract lots of nice, normal people on the Internet by putting your best foot forward (and a lot of creeps, too, but that’s a hazard of dating in ANY medium). I just celebrated my first anniversary with the wonderful guy I met online while living in rural Michigan, where meeting gay men in person is all but impossible. We just moved to DC together and are doing great.

    However, you chose to act like an idiot and then publicly mock the idiots who, unsurprisingly, responded to your ad. “y do u talk like a retarded person” — REAL classy, whether you were joking or not. I’m sure that made you feel great while further lowering the confidence of someone who is probably less educated than you.

    Say what you want about being ironic/hyperbolic/super-duper funny. These articles, whose original premise was that dating is fucked and the Internet is full of freaks, are garbage. I suppose it was a good self-esteem boost for you. “Like, OMG, look how many dudes are hitting me up even tho I’m such a weirdo and they can only see my shoulder, right?! ROFLMAO.”

    Welcome to humanity, where the majority of men will hit on anything with a pretty shoulder. Most of us came to this realization during puberty.

    • Blackbarred

      Your rational response will likely be the source for mindless trolling once the post get’s going.  I agree with you and felt that way as soon as a read the former article.  The fact of the matter is Okcupid isn’t that insane, not any more insane than the dudes or gals who frequent a bar trying to get laid. 
      What’s worse than the article itself are the juvenile responses to criticism.  
      In the end I can attest to the legitimacy of online dating.  I’ve met countless friends from the wonders of OKcupid, they aren’t insane or creepy, some might have slight social awkwardness, but I live 2 hours away from a metropolitan area and work full-time.  If it weren’t for Okcupid I’d have missed out on some great people in my life and my boyfriend.  

    • KP

       Why are you angry about these men being laughed at?

      • Josef Balcerak

        Because she’s just being a mean-spirited troll. I mean, some trolls are funny and original, like this guy:

        This, however, is just sad. There’s nothing clever or revealing about it. My friends and I did something similar when we were 12 and the Yahoo dating chat rooms were popular. We’d pretend to be an adult and see what weird things we could get people to say, which, to a 12-year-old, is pretty damn funny. (And if a 12-year-old can come up with the same idea as you, you really have to wonder how good your material is.)

        Since then, I (like most adults) have realized that there are lots of lonely and socially inept men out there who will do just about anything to get with a girl. Sometimes they’re creeps, and sometimes they’re just desperate for some company. In any case, it’s not really funny anymore.

        Think about this: If some guy posted a profile online, said a bunch of fucked-up stuff to the unsuspecting women who showed interest in him, and then publicly made fun of them, would that be OK with you? If not, you should ask yourself why, because it’s the same damn thing. (Yes, some of the men who messaged her were doubtless out for sex, but believe it or not, dudes have feelings, too.)

        So what did she accomplish by luring in these saps, treating them like dirt, and putting them on display? I don’t know. I suppose it amused her and a handful of preteens.

    • sonicyoof

      “However, you chose to act like an idiot and then publicly mock the idiots who, unsurprisingly, responded to your ad.”

      Yes, that was exactly the point. This is a comedy site.

  • Whatever

    Well obviously a profile like Marla’s would only attract messages from the absolute dregs of OkCupid.  

  • Alicia2012

    I literally CTFU @ “I’m just a gurl standing in front of a microwave waiting for her hot pocket to be done.” bahahahahahaaaa

  • KP

    Love it. “You must have like 8 boyfriends.”

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for the laffs this morning, and the reminder that men are trashbags that will stoop to neverending depths.

  • heymarlawassup

    omg im so sad u clozed ur acct marla u made me laff so hard lolz!!!!  dis lotsa hardup guyz out there n so am i so ydontu email me freewilliesathotmaildotcom

  • Noodle

    ‘My last bf turned out to be a lady’ not crazy, more like transphobic bitch :)

  • Scarlett

    I don’t care if people think this is trolling or cruel or whatever, this is fucking HILARIOUS! I love these posts. Thank you Alyssa! :)

  • James Speight

    I didn’t find this ad weird, rude or unattractive. The lack of grammer skills/schooling shows unintelligence, which some guys prefer. The “I smoke but you can’t” attitude shows fiestiness, which some guys love. The beer drinking/front porch/lawn chair/dog scenerio is an obvious attraction to the average blue-collar. Disliking children is fantastic for guys who aren’t looking to get a woman pregnant. Law and Order and movies are pretty easy to have in common… and drinking is VERY easy to have in common.
    As far as the picture goes, the woman is NOT fat and NOT pasty white and has longer brunette hair and doesn’t wear baggy clothes. That opens up about 1000 doors for possible physical attractions as the male mind begins to wander.
    The bottom line is that you didn’t write a weird, rude or unattractive profile. The proof is in the responses. This ad may seem wierd/rude/unattractive to a female, but I find this experiment entirely unsuccessful as it attracted many men. This article just further proves that women do not understand men.

    • Anonymous

      grammer skills

      • razdraz cannot spell

        spelling skills

  • Marie

    Oh my gosh. This is hilarious! I love it!!!

  • sarah

    Your article and tact proves nothing except that you’re the desperate, crazy idiot. I feel sorry for those guys whom wasted energy just typing messages to you. Be more inventive next time.

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