Slacktory

White people with black friends

I started a website called Yo, Is This Racist?, where (almost exclusively white) people can write in and get my extremely ill-informed opinion about whether or not something is racist. Now I’m an expert on this shit.

Lately, racists have been really worked up about making sure people know they are friends with, and have interest in, people of color. Maybe it was watching Mitt Romney quote “Who Let the Dogs Out”. Maybe it was The Help. Maybe racists are really trying to better themselves haha no.


anonymous asked: If my friends and I all call each other by racist nicknames based on our ethnic backgrounds – Paddy, Chink (me), Towelhead, Nazi, etc…BUT would beat the crap out of anyone who did it unaffectionately, is that racist?

Congratulations on taking “I have black friends too” and turning it into a whole United Colours Of Benetton campaign. Look, the thing with shit like this isn’t so much that you get your titters from desensitizing yourself to racial slurs by turning them into affectionate (ish) swears between your friends, but isn’t it just kind of exhausting keeping up the whole “equal opportunity offender” thing? Seriously, if nothing else, doesn’t the oppressive wackness get you down after a while?

BUT ALSO, obviously, the problem with shit like this is, even if your Band of Almost Tediously Collected, Verging on Tokenist Diverse Brothers still finds it somehow amusing to keep this up, you’re seriously going to ultimately find that doing what you can to reduce the amount of racist language flying around in the fucking world is really the way to go.

 

anonymous asked: I am a very white neonatal nurse. I think the non-white babies are most often way cuter than the white babies. This seems like it is racist.

Yo, white people love the fuck out of talking about how cute they think non-white babies are. And look, this is not the worst thing, but it should be pointed out that this shit is the kind of subtle infantilizing of people of color that is ultimately a little destructive. Lady (I assume, sorry if you’re not), you know why non-white babies look so cute to you? Because you see them as harmless and because you have 100% power over them.

Also, all babies are equally precious and adorable, don’t hate on those Village-of-the-Damned-looking kids, them shits got psychic powers.

 

anonymous asked: My friend is black. i accidentally said naacp basketball instead of ncaa. he seemed to be cool but idk. is it racist?

Oh damn. Normally “my friend is black” is such a reliable warning that you’re about to hear some racist shit, but in this case, I think you’re OK. Maybe start trying to break the association in your brain between the phrase “double-A” and “black,” but that shit could probably happen to anyone.

 

anonymous asked: At work we have a “Race and Social Justice Change Team”, and its white members are referred to as “White Allies”. I won’t go into why they have failed at creating legitimate discussion about race or done anything to address actual sources and causes of racism, and I don’t really want to get all whiny and paranoid and entitled about “reverse racism”. I guess my question is: does “White Allies” sound like a white supremacist group to anyone else?

Rejected Original Names For ‘White Allies’:

The Ku Klux Friends
The Reich Stuff
Nice And Zealously Integrated Staff
National Association for the Advancement of Creative Problem Solving

Photo from Black People Love Us

  • wtf

    “Because you see them as harmless and because you have 100% power over them.” PLEASE tell me you’re joking.

    • katieiscariot

      Because the majority of white people AREN’T completely terrified of people of color unless they are powerless?

      • wtf

        I’m white. I’m not terrified of one race more or less than any other. Without sounding cheeky, I’m sorry if that disappoints you.

        • katieiscariot

          Sorry, I’m white too, so you aren’t disappointing me at all. But you’re an idiot if you think that the majority of white people don’t fear people of color – especially those who are powerful – in a major way.

    • A lot of racism is very subtle and even unconscious. It’s created and perpetuated by social systems, which are pretty much exclusively designed to give cissexual white men the most power. While there are programs in place to try to reverse this, they haven’t had much real success. So yes, this makes complete sense, because white people do still have pretty much 100% of power.

      • ..

        I refuse to believe this. Are you trying to tell me that because I am white, I must be racist, and if I don’t feel racist, then it’s simply because it’s so unconscious? Is there scientific proof for this? If not, it’s very dangerous to believe in psychological theories that are unfalsifiable, especially when they lead you to make assumptions about an entire other race. I wonder if it’ll make you have more respect for society or less¬† to hear that I believe racism is a product of nurture and not nature. I am not afraid of one race any more than another, and I do not believe myself to have power over one race in particular. I, personally, was raised in a society where race had no implication on the way you were treated. Also I’m not a white ‘man’, if that makes a difference.

        • Tealrose39

          doesn’t make any difference.¬
          http://nymbp.org/reference/WhitePrivilege.pdf

        • katieiscariot

          The problem is that, whether you recognize your inherent power and privilege over another race, it’s there. I don’t believe that you’re automatically racist because you are white, but you do need to understand and acknowledge how racism has made your life better since the day you were born.

          • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

            CONGRATULATIONS, YOU GUYS FIXED RACISM

    • AJ

      Possibly valid, but I think it misses the bigger point — the notable thing isn’t that white people think babies of color are cute; while there are exceptions I feel comfortable generalizing that people think babies are cute period.¬† What’s worthy of discussion is that white people so often feel the need to mention specifically that they think babies of other races are cute, even cuter than white babies.¬† It’s a way of deflecting any suspicion of racism (akin to “I have black friends” etc.)

  • anonaswell

    I think the thing with the babies is that most non-white babies have dark eyes, and dark eyes look bigger than light ones. Big eyes=cute. 

  • ekc

    I can’t believe the most, thoughtful discussion going on in the comments section is about white babies versus babies of color…I can’t believe those are THE ONLY COMMENTS. seriously?

    On another note, I’m impressed by the witty answers written here. Andrew Ti obviously upped his game for this article.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jess.hurst1 Jess Hurst

    “Because you see them as harmless and because you have 100% power over them.” -that applies to all babies, though.

    My theory is that babies of color are cuter than white babies because people of color look better bald than white people do, and most babies don’t have a lot of hair.

  • Yo

    This is fantastic as is your website. Although I have to assume you’re being at least a bit facetious with some of your responses. The having power of non-white babies is the one that jumps out to me. The rejected original names for White Allies was just brilliant stuff though.

    • Yo

      *Over non-white babies. My bad.

  • Anonymous

    It’s not that white babies aren’t as cute as non-white babies, it’s that non-cute babies are rare. So the odds of seeing a baby that is both non-cute, and non-white, (ie a minority of a minority) are slim, but because you see so many more white babies than non-white babies, all of the ugly babies you see are white.

  • hellofriend

    Just a quick comment here. ¬†… I loved your comment about social systems and white men holding the power in our current one. ¬†Though things seem to be getting more “equal” the power structure is still obviously of the same essence. ¬†

    Additionally, I wanted to point out all this use of “non-white” babies. ¬†Though I do not believe this is explicitly a racist remark, I think our complacency when claiming that white is the norm and anything else is not is problematic. ¬†By using white and non-white the dominant race is being perpetuated by normalizing the whiteness in a social context. ¬†

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KBEXA347MNHOEJSFBF6LSS2RGM Juan

    Sorry Andrew Ti, all babies are fugly.  

  • Keith Talone

    I did agree. Buy That’s your opinion. And you should be free to expresses it. But the oddes are that when the non white baby’s gets older and breaks into your house rapes your wife and steals your TV. He / she won’t be to cute then. And now that we are talking about none white baby’s. Do thay pull ther own pants down to there knees to show there diapers or do the baby’s daddy. Now That I think about it,the baby’s “Daddy” most likly in jail. So it’s got to be the “babby momma”?

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