Slacktory

Guitar Hero buttons

If your favorite game isn’t listed below, tell me in the comments and I’ll tell you what it says about you.

Halo: You regularly visit your old frat house.

Minecraft: You’re a very attentive lover.

Dead or Alive: You spit a little when you talk.

Team Fortress 2: You unfavorably compare “anime-ized” modern cartoons with Tex Avery classics.

Starcraft: You like cooking, but not baking.

Wii Sports: You have other couples over for “taco night”.

Call of Duty: You have bedhead.

Grand Theft Auto: You sometimes swear near children just to demonstrate your Constitutional free speech rights.

Angry Birds: When you discuss “smart sitcoms” you lump How I Met Your Mother in with Community and 30 Rock.

Half-Life: You play piano.

Leisure Suit Larry: You forward jokes about Obama to your family.

Katamari Damacy: You’re one of those people who eats a lot but doesn’t get fat.

Guitar Hero: You don’t play guitar.

Super Mario: Your regular shoes are sneakers.

Portal: You’ve started a Twitter hashtag game.

Street Fighter: You can’t spell some words.

Braid: You save old Moleskines full of doodles.

Tetris: You wear a short-sleeved shirt and tie to work.

Skyrim: You’re working on a novel.

Duke Nukem: You say “I’m street smart, not book smart.”

Pac-Man: You’re the last surviving consumer of Good & Plenty.

Snood: You’re the oldest intern at a company you make fun of after hours.

BioShock: You’re not an asshole, you just think that without government subsidies of big business, capitalism would be less vilified.

Diablo: You adjust your wardrobe around planning to headbang.

Civilization: You get excited by the bulk bins at Whole Foods.

The Sims: You like painting your fingernails multiple colors.

Roller Coaster Tycoon: You wish you’d saved your favorite Lego set from childhood.

World of Warcraft: You’re baffled that this hasn’t fully replaced golf.

Madden Football: You manage a gas station.

Battlefield: You don’t give a shit about craft beers.

Neverwinter Nights: Your girlfriend often asks you, “Tell me a story.”

Bejeweled: Your children miss you.

Deus Ex: Every year, you get a little closer to converting your parents from Christians to agnostics.

Left 4 Dead: You helped all your friends move.

Flight Simulator: You love maximizing your deductions.

Command and Conquer: You read alternate history novels.

Fallout: You know how to arch your right eyebrow, but not your left.

NBA Jam: You drink soda.

L.A. Noire: You know not to wear a fedora with anything but a suit.

Spacequest: You’ve uploaded some skits onto YouTube.

Mirror’s Edge: You eat dark chocolate.

Counter-Strike: You’re really nice to your dog.

Sonic the Hedgehog: You eat hot dogs without ketchup.

Monkey Island: You joke about your useless liberal arts degree, but you’re proud of it.

Age of Empires: You’ve read Guns, Germs and Steel.

Assassin’s Creed: You don’t think it’s fair that trenchcoats are still associated with kids who shoot up their schools.

Donkey Kong Country: You prefer the British Office.

Battletoads: You think your friends are joking when they call you an asshole.

Gran Turismo: Sometimes you have to recite parts of the alphabet to yourself.

Plants vs. Zombies: You say, “All that matters is my car gets me from Point A to Point B.”

Heavy Rain: You’re getting over a personal crisis.

Zelda: You go in for hugs instead of handshakes.

Metal Gear Solid: You think that suicidal people should just go on cool death-defying missions.

Earthworm Jim: You and your friends say “…Her?” instead of “Really?”

Pokemon: Your boyfriend says you make him feel old.

Photo CC Mats Lindh on Flickr

Now find out what your favorite blog says about you!

 

  • Davidyolmeh

    How did these results come about? A lot of them are confusing…

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      A computer wrote it.

      • chuckkk

        Mad cunt.

        • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

          That’s my favorite JRPG!

  • Jess

    No Gears of War? :|

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You store a lot of canned food in your basement.

  • http://twitter.com/straythenomad Chris Menning

    As a Minecraft player I approve of this.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      As a guy who once skimmed an article criticizing Minecraft, I disapprove of you.

  • Grazar

    What about Jet Set Radio Future?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You have more than one version of the Cowboy Bebop theme in your iTunes.

  • Guest

    You clearly have no fucking idea on any of this, as none of it makes sense. Maybe you should actually play a fucking game before you write articles on them.

    • Guest

      You do realize the article is a joke, right? Haha chill out bro. But Fallout was wrong about me!

      • Uberconnor

        Omg fallout was completely right about me

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      I am playing a game, and you just lost.

      • Stephen

        I see what you did there. He also sang a song with Lil’ Wayne entitled “My Life”

      • Jason Cromwell15

        ACTUALLY, the game is over. Look it up, asshole.

    • SmarterGuest

      Dude, chill out, it’s supposed to be funny.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=649642880 Justin Kaminski

    This is about as accurate as when Fox News said you could have anal sex in Mass Effect.

    • Armandodippet

      Technically, they’re right, since guy-on-guy is now an option in ME3, so…

      • Guest

        Technically, they’re right, since guy-on-guy is now an option in ME3, so…

        • Guest

          Technically, they’re right, since guy-on-guy is now an option in ME3, so…

          • Guest

            Technically, they’re right, since guy-on-guy is now an option in ME3, so… 

          • Djibouti

            Technically, they’re right, since guy-on-guy is now an option in ME3, so… 

          • Hadooookin!!!

             C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!

          • Dick

             Technically, they’re right, since guy-on-guy is now an option in ME3, so… 

    • http://twitter.com/tropetweeter Mac Elmore

      Technically, they’re right, since guy-on-guy is now an option in ME3, so…

  • Anon

    Are you guys really that dumb that you can’t get a tongue-in-cheek “what something says about you” article?

  • Krog

    I thought this was bullshit until I saw Fallout… get out of my head!!

  • joethetimelord

    What the hell does most of this mean?  I kind of get the Katamari Damacy one, and the Mario was a nice touch (most people wear sneakers and most people love Mario), but the vast majority hints that even these decent entries were an accident.
    Now, I know not to take anything that ends with “says about you” seriously, but I expect either humor or sense-making and I see neither here.  Why does playing Call of Duty give me beadhead?  Why does playing Sonic clue others in on what condiments I use on food?  Am I legally required to have a liberal arts degree to play and/or enjoy Monkey Island?
    I feel these are, indeed, jokes, but important details have been removed.  Something like  “Knock Knock/Who’s there?/Why are you crying?”
    It just doesn’t work and it confuses the hell out of everybody.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Actually, that’s a *great* knock-knock joke.

    • thedoomed

      well sonic is obvious he eats chilie dogs lol as for the others idk

    • jimmy

      You play cod because it’s easy and you’re lazy

  • I_am_kat2

    These don’t seem to make much sense.  A few work, but most are very far off the mark.

  • Sage_chase

    @357ff29e0c79108aa4ad505bce9e2c6a:disqus; this was based on your favorite series, not the games you play or all the ones you have ever played.

  • Met

    this article really sucks, it is just opinion, and a shitty set of opinions at that

  • nick

    this is pretty fucking retarded

  • http://www.facebook.com/closenough Anna Cardona

    None of these match up with me.

  • Frozz

    I am Frozztastic, and I approve this message.

  • Ethan

    Hell its true for me. Zelda all the way.

  • Noir

    Really?
    Because my favorite series happens to be Half Life and I’ve barely even touched a piano.

    Whatever this is, it’s complete garbage and none of it even comes close to being applicable to anyone’s life in the slightest.

    • Tehwildbud

      Rofl I don’t think the average person touches a piano but clearly you had a vague interest

    • tlczek

      Shhh… you’ll hurt people’s feelings.

      • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

        It’s OK, for every negative comment I only slice my arm one time with a paring knife.

  • GaMzEe MaKaRa

    75% true for me.
    Zelda, Plants Vs Zombies, AC, Bioshock, Skyrim and Guitar Hero agreed with The ones I played and didn’t agree with are Angry Birds, Minecraft and Mirror’s Edge.

    • I’lldrinktothat

      That’s so interesting! Let me hear more of your opinions please! But first allow me to  make a few speculations about you.

      1. Given that you disagree with the statement about Minecraft players, your boyfriend sucks, or you are ugly.
      2. You are the kind of person who re-posts chain messages on social networking sites.
      3. You aren’t religious but you’re spiritual.

      I’m guessing Nick didn’t think of anything clever for Metroid since it’s been on here at least 3 times, so I’ll take a stab:

      You’re an achievement whore.

      Speculation as to more specific characteristics: You beat Metroid Fusion in under 2 hours so you could see Samus take off her suit because you herd shes hawt.

      Further speculation: You’d “rather be playing GameBoy emulators.”

    • EdDrew

      That’s so interesting! Let me hear more of your opinions please! But first allow me to  make a few speculations about you.

      1. Given that you disagree with the statement about Minecraft players, your boyfriend sucks, or you are ugly.
      2. You are the kind of person who re-posts chain messages on social networking sites.
      3. You aren’t religious but you’re spiritual.

      I’m guessing Nick didn’t think of anything clever for Metroid since it’s been on here at least 3 times, so I’ll take a stab:

      You’re an achievement whore.

      Speculation as to more specific characteristics: You beat Metroid Fusion in under 2 hours so you could see Samus take off her suit because you herd shes hawt.

      Further speculation: You’d “rather be playing GameBoy emulators.”

  • Glenbro

    This was pretty hilarious, and random, which is why its funny. He caught me perfectly on mirrors edge though :O, Thanks for the laugh! :D
    Everyone please calm down, Its not meant to be serious!!

  • Anonymous

    most of those were actually true about me (fallout, starcraft, counter-strike), skyrim not so much.

  • GLaDOS

    ….
    This is a horrible representation of everything.
    Let me warm up the neurotoxin for you.

    • GLaDOS

      Oh, look. It’s someone else pretending to be me. How sad. Still, most humans on the internet are, well, let’s just say they’re not that bright. I should congratulate you on beating the odds, and being intelligent enough to at least emulate me instead of that moron upstairs.
      You know, reading this list taught me a valuable lesson. It doesn’t matter what you say on the internet, as long as you make people laugh.

  • Kelleric1994

    Metal Gear Solid was definitely right about me..

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Hellenisma-Van-Goth/100000813060924 Hellenisma Van Goth

    could not be more wrong

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      lol goths

      • MattyMillz

        haha seriously… goths….. their outfits could not be more wrong

    • Not Goth

      “Hellenisma Van Goth is not my real name and I can’t change it or I just can’t find where to change it :/

      There are many thing’s I like – Girls, Cars, Drift, Pc, Xbox, Bikes,
      Motorbikes, Sk8boards, Snowboarding, all kinds of extreme sports,
      photographing, learning new languages, traditions, cultures and so on
      and on… In short you could say I’m really open to new stuff.

      Currently I’m looking for my soul mate…”

      That made me laugh. Good work.

  • lil_apple_blossom

    You know, Fallout has it backwards, I can raise my left but not my right. xP

    • Lady Alpha

      same here XD

    • Willpaintforfood

      I think it depends on which hemisphere you’re in…

  • Lotus_jazz

    This doesn’t make any sense whatsoever… Except for the Skyrim thing, I’m actually working on a script/novel right now.

  • Vlodrak

    Well, I actually found it quite funny

  • N8

    I play guitar hero and i play guitar

    • Aksjdhsak

      You probably aren’t that good at guitar.

      • Dfajdfkaj

        Really? What’s your basis for that wildly speculative assumption? Did he tell you he’s been playing guitar for like 2 days, rather than like 10 years? Do you have inside information, or are you just dumb?

        • DinoLaser

          The assumption is neither wild nor speculative. It is plain fact which is proven in the article on which you are commenting. The Internet awaits your retraction and apology.

  • Anon

    I have actually read Guns, Germs, and Steel, and I DO love Age of Empires!

  • Cooper Angelo

    It kills me when people wear fedoras without suits. Her?

  • http://twitter.com/morroclearwater Sean Morrissey

    No Gears? Bah!

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You occasionally worry that your friends can read your mind. Then you “think” things at them to get a reaction.

      • greg

        That is actually spot on for me

  • Asdlkfjs

    Random Videogame + Random Quirk /= Good Internet Article

    • Wth

      Agreed… I don’t see the reasoning for the quirks and their relation to the game

  • Shipot

    article gave me a giggle,
    comments made me lol hard

  • Sean

    this is retarded.

  • Opeth_theold

    You missed the big damn series of Final Fantasy….so this is all null and void.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You first heard about A Song of Ice and Fire when it was getting made into an HBO show, but since then you’ve read three of the books.

      • http://www.thepixelpuse.com Aj Meadows

        This is a thing that actually happened in my life… I like Final Fantasy.

      • Big_G_151

        Pretty much summed me up

    • Tehwildbud

      Hahaha I bet nick fucking loves to hear that

  • Cold Water

    What about Mass Effect?!

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You were so mad at the last season of Battlestar Galactica that you still haven’t watched the last few episodes, but you’ve read all the synopses on the wiki.

  • Thin_icE

    I’m glad I stumbled into this article, now I know I’ll never get back to this site. What a horrible piece of garbage. There ain’t a single entry that makes sense, and on top of that the author is a smartass. Good riddance!

  • SayNoToSobriety

    I cant believe how you got everything wrong..

  • Kblosser90

    Well League of legends isn’t on here

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You would play chess if more taunting were allowed.

  • Numberoneninja

    Kingdom Hearts!

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Your parents aren’t going to buy you a car, so stop asking.

  • Sithis

    Skyrim is the game, the Series is The Elder Scrolls

  • Elle

    Can’t believe you didn’t have mass effect on here. >.>

  • http://twitter.com/EveretteCox Everette Cox

    Spyro? The old PS1 and PS2 versions not the crappy remade ones. . .

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You *used* to like Modest Mouse.

      • DinoLaser

        Oh snap.

      • DoctorPazuzu

        I like Spyro, but I still like Modest mouse? Eh, close enough.

  • Toilet

    …No Dragon age or Mass Effect? why u hatin’ on RP games?

  • guest

     Shogun Total War?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You always try to help cover dinner, even if the other person promised to buy.

  • Sejetore

    terraria and impossible creatures!

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You think people shouldn’t dismiss Wicca out of hand.

  • Anonymous

    jak and daxter.

  • anonymous

    This list is so incredibly off… the characteristics should references something obviously linked to the game itself… but they don’t at all… and the author is being a total dick in the comments, which means he probably didn’t put much though into this… other than writing an article attempting to negatively stereotype people who play games he does not enjoy, and make himself look more awesome by giving other games ridiculously positive characteristics.

    • Sean

      He didn’t even stereotype them correctly O_x

  • Sean

    Everyone playing Skyrim is writing a novel? Prepare for a shitload of new fiction….

  • K4m3j0

    no final fantasy?

  • Dwarf

    Dwarf Fortress?

  • Thezergler

    You just pulled these ‘meanings’ out of your ass, didnt you?

  • Thezergler

    You just pulled these ‘meanings’ out of your ass, didnt you?

  • Rocshox

    League of Legends

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You don’t read comment sections.

  • Fheuhiee

    HAHAHAHAHHAA this is sooooo true and everyone who says otherwise is in denial because they don’t like the one they got!

  • Jackoonbacko

    Megaman

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Every time you play “rock paper scissors” to settle a dispute, you throw “Spock”.

  • Gawain Spritzer

    What if I like playing Star Fox?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You drink really hoppy beer.

  • FryingPanThefifteenth.

    What if I like playing Sly Cooper

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      When you were a kid, you thought sunglasses were just the coolest fucking thing, especially wraparounds.

  • Hypesoj

    What if I like playing Mortal Kombat?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Oh my god, how did I forget that one? Thank you!

      After you watch a movie, you immediately rate it on Netflix, check the Rotten Tomatoes score, and read the entire “Trivia” section on IMDb.

  • Hypesoj

    Shadow of the Colossus?
    God of War?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You kept saying “Don’t tase me, bro!” when everyone else was over it.

  • Sansha Kuvakei

    EVE Online. Where is it.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You read “Peter’s Evil Overlord List” and nodded sagely at each item, like you were actually storing them away for future use.

  • DinoLaser

    Halo and Flight Sim are dead on. Nice job.

  • Facepalm

    I get some the jokes, but I don’t fall under any of them. I love Halo, never been in a frat. Love Portal, don’t use Twitter. Love(d) Guitar Hero, I play guitar. Love Half-Life, don’t play piano. Love Assassin’s Creed, not a fan of trench coats. Love CoD (why, God, why??), don’t have bedhead.

    Most of these aren’t true, and the rest don’t even make sense. This kind of stuff is only really funny when it seems ridiculous, but it’s actually true. Farther down the list, it just becomes more ridiculous.

    Oh, your favorite game is Doom? That means you like having sex with farm animals!

  • Michael

    Earthbound!

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You pretend you like movies with downer endings but really you like that embarrassing moment when everything is just going so well and you’re gleeful on behalf of the protagonist.

  • http://dewimorgan.livejournal.com/ Dewi Morgan

    Ultima Underworld 2. Or indeed, any of the Ultimas except that EA MMO thing.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You spill your coffee a lot. You should find different ways to hold your arm out.

  • Me

    Ace Attorney?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You’re made of money. I mean literally, you had one-dollar bills sewn into your skin.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000397835912 Paula Aldana

    Hey, Why I don’t find Dead Space? :[
    I wanna know.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      The dead space is in your heart, and it has been since birth.

      No, not a birth defect, you goof, it’s, like, dark poetry. Yes. Yeah, I knew you’d get it if you thought about it.

  • Anon

    Wow, not an ounce of actual thought put into this. I for one, play Battlefield quite a bit and craft beers are the only kinds of beer I drink, thank you very much.

  • Anonymous

    This was funny as hell, as are the comments. I identify with some of these.  I even played Donkey Kong Country as a kid and the british Office is much better than the american one, so there.
    What does it say about you if you get really pissed at the author of this post for not being right about what type of person you are? You need to stop looking for others for validation and procure a sense of humor, maybe? 

  • Lynn

    Erm…. how about Psychonauts? Makes sense why it’s not up there, but I’m just curious.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You bounce on the furniture.

  • http://twitter.com/sublimestate Leia Genevieve Lane

    who wants a hug?

  • http://twitter.com/slickhop [dave]

    loved this, thanks :)

  • http://twitter.com/slickhop [dave]

    OH OH OH do me do me

    fav game:  dark souls

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You like seeing one thing be a whole lot huger than the thing next to it.

  • Guest

    Wheres fallout?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      It’s right behind the “ctrl+F” function!

  • Missjaypom

    oh do Super Smash Brothers Brawl >:]

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You will wear less clothing for the pillow fight if they ask, because it makes it a lot more satisfying when they tear up a little while they beg you to stop wailing on them with the little cushion thing and it’s no fair you picked that but you read your Sun Tzu and it’s about the choice of weapon, bitch, and then you make fun of them for a week for getting beat by a girl even though you don’t feel that should be at all surprising by now.

  • Indy

    I’m actually scared by how many of these were right, except you got my eyebrow raising ability backwards.

    But, you need Uncharted

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You hum the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme all day and at home you have a very cool hat that you only wear in private.

  • Drewm91

    Brothers in Arms?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You nod respectfully at soldiers in airports.

  • http://twitter.com/essenegocio Ruivo

    Fatal Frame? 

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You fap to Spooky-chan. You DVRed all of her ANTM episodes.

  • Sharland1989

    What about Mass Effect, and Mortal Kombat

  • Guest

    This page should have a “Fucking terrible article” button. 

  • Guest

    Final Fantasy X
    Chrono Trigger

    Go.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      There should be more games that penalize people for jumping the gun, just to put you in your place. On the upside, your natural odor is imperceptibly more pleasant than the average person’s.

  • quickfingers

    Final Fantasy?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Stephanie-Lester/100002634128256 Stephanie Lester

    Silent Hill?

    • Angrygreentea

      That’s the one I was looking forward to.

    • Angrygreentea

      That’s the one I was looking forward to.

      • DebrisCloud

        “You like to wake up in the middle of the night to write down your nightmares to share with your loved ones in the morning.  You then go back to sleep, fearing and hoping they pick up from where you left off.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/tuckermonticelli Tucker Monticelli

      I was looking for Silent Hill 2 : )

      • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

        Well in that case you have giant pupils and you dry the flowers right where they’re planted, leaving them an anachronism on the stem.

  • Guest

    What about the Fable series?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Your favorite LOTR character is Tom Bombadil. Dude deserves his own spinoff.

  • Max Reusing

    mass effect?

  • Josephbmarra

    Saint’s Row: The Third.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Christ, what an asshole.

  • http://twitter.com/sizzler_xanadu sizzler_xanadu

    Spiderman 2!!!

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Your head leans forward a bit. It makes you look weird, but you’ll never know how much it subtly influenced your teachers to pick you out as a “bright” student, giving you about a 4% edge in life.

  • http://twitter.com/ShmelanieKay Melanie Seiderman

    So, Earthworm Jim fans are coincidentally Arrested Development fans?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      It’s no coincidence. Doug TenNapel is the Mitch Hurwitz of video games and comics.

  • Paul Sassaman

    Alright, you’ve gotten a large number of these right in terms of generalities, so you’ve piqued my curiosity.  My favorite series is The Lost Vikings.  What does that say about me?

    (Alternatively, you could comment on Rocket: Robot on Wheels.)

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      The Lost Vikings: You loved walking through the woods as a kid. You often came home covered in dirt, leaves and burrs.

  • Nodice

    Wow, ever heard of ALPHABETICAL ORDER?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      I played it on Xbox but the controls were all wonky.

  • Ichi_Yamamoto

    How about Hyperdimension Neptunia? Or Naughty Bear?
    Crash Bandicoot? 3D Interactive Hentai?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Some of these sound freaky and gross, so I’ll skip those and do 3D Interactive Hentai.

      Your safe word actually was “cacao”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=749973019 Sean Newman

    how about disgaea

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You draw very specific lines between “kinky” and “furry”.

  • Guest

    how bout Persona 3 or 4?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You’d better pick one, because while Persona 3 means you have the ability to chain-smoke without any medical effects, Persona 4 means Michael Cera is going to kill you for coins.

  • http://www.facebook.com/will.tice Will Tice

    Yet again, no love for Mega Man. :/

    • Kamurotetsu

      Yeah, totally disappointed here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lindsaeh Lindsae Heidenreich

    Disgaea?

  • DarkElfZrelia

    What about Silent Hill?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Shhhhhh. The Dark Ones are coming for you.

  • SoundHyp

    Phantasy Star IV

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      That’s your favorite game? OK, if you really want to be the guy in the chicken suit advertising Pollo Loco when Walt finally loses it and commits murder-suicide across the street, you go ahead.

      • SoundHyp

        I guess I’m a sucker for the nostalgia factor. Phantasy Star IV is the first video game memory I have. Tends to make me miss my Genesis.

  • Musouka

    My favorite game of all time is Resident Evil REmake. What does that say about me?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You love the ending to Boondock Saints and you don’t at all think it’s cheesy and ruins the whole movie. Ew.

  • Anthony Montoya

    Ninja Gaiden? :D

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You’ve tried “drifting” your car in the Target parking lot.

  • http://twitter.com/BrentonPoke Brenton Poke

    “Deus Ex: Every year, you get a little closer to converting your parents from Christians to agnostics.”

    Me, bitches.

  • Meow

    Kingdom hearts?

  • Son_of_Orion

    Total War, Alpha Protocol, Dwarf Fortress and STALKER.

    Maybe The X series too, but that may be a bit too obscure.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Pick one and then we’ll talk, Mr. “I frantically stir my ice cream into a goop before I eat it”.

  • Jericho5997

    Lol. I play flight sims all the time and I’m 3 months from finishing my accounting degree. For a humorous shot in the dark you absolutely Nailed that one. :P

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      It was worth every hateful comment to give you that moment of satisfaction.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1406773276 Ryan Padilla

    Monster Hunter?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You made up your own lyrics to the Jurassic Park theme.

  • Siege

    Armored…Core?

    I can’t imagine this being anything other than “You often forget that people aren’t machines.”

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Oof, that was the effect on me from too many RTS’s.

      You’ve spent more time watching that supercut of all of Michael Bay’s explosions than you have watching actual Michael Bay movies.

  • Zero-ELEC

    Metroid’s my favourite. What does that say about me.
     -Lurker Guy

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You get super-horny from drawings where the sexy girl is obscured by some machinery juuuuust on the naughty bits, or like the drawing just fuzzes out there. You like that “bubbling” fad too. Basically the Gestalt Effect hits your G-spot.

  • http://twitter.com/DesiringCod Zachaeus Medneslon

    Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney?¿

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You often wish you could fly, like just float around the air, and you wish your hair didn’t grow unless you asked it to.

  • The Stills

    What about Metroid?

    • EdDrew

      I’m guessing Nick didn’t think of anything clever for Metroid since it’s been on here at least 3 times, so I’ll take a stab:

      You’re an achievement whore.

      Speculation as to more specific characteristics: You beat Metroid
      Fusion in under 2 hours so you could see Samus take off her suit because
      you herd shes hawt.

      Further speculation: You’d “rather be playing GameBoy emulators.”

    • Alex

      Amnesia the Dark Descent?

      • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous
    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous
  • Pjskeleton

    I thought all of these were extremely accurate. I’ve only played about half of these games, but among my friends and myself, this list is 100% accurate. I even lol’d at the Pokemon one; one of my closest friend’s favorite games is Pokemon. His boyfriend constantly calls him immature, it’s hilarious. Fantastic article that gave me tons of lols, even if it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cory.koomoa Cory Koomoa

    Thousand Arms (original PS game)

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You have trouble remembering that the number of options you have in an average day are nigh unto infinite.

  • Richiboom

    What about Snatcher? Possibly the best game ever made, ever!

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Even Carmen Sandiego is like “Whoa, put some roots down, dude.”

  • The Good Professor

    But my favorite games are Hell: After the End and League of Legends.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      HATE: You’ve cybered. You’ve also subsisted a week on microwaved food.

      LoL: I said something about chess earlier, right? Well that, plus you bet on bare-knuckle boxing.

  • Matthew Dickinson

    damn! I don’t get a one of these! 

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Congratulations, you’re more well-adjusted than all of us!

  • Anonymous

    You should put Dead Space on here

  • Carousel

    Madworld? Devil May Cry? Okami?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Pick one, “I own only plaid shirts”-dude.

      • Carousel

        Hey, you did multiples for others… If I had to pick, I suppose I return to Madworld most often.

        • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

          You listen to clean, crisp punk music and you drink straight gin. You look damn good with a frown on.

  • Unnamedhero

    How about Tales of Abyss

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You write spank erotica.

  • mrpoo

    Dynasty Warriors?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You have highly honored your family. And your patients say you’re the gentlest dentist in town.

  • CharginTarge

    What about Amnesia: The Dark Descent or Bastion?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Amnesia: Your body has started doing that chill/jump/sudden creepout thing on its own. Open the fridge, creepout. Put a book down, creepout. Order fries in a restaurant, shiver of impending death.

      Bastion: You just turned me onto a game just for the art. You make wooden hash pipes for a living.

  • Jeff

    Resident Evil?
    Castlevania?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Resident Evil.

      Castlevania: You own a wolf shirt.

  • http://www.thepixelpuse.com Aj Meadows

    Yeah, people on the internet really disappoint me sometimes. The stupidity in these comments is astounding.

  • Abc

    Bayonetta?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You intend to go your whole life fapping only to fictional characters.

  • EdDrew

    I’m guessing Nick didn’t think of anything clever for Metroid since it’s been on here at least 3 times, so I’ll take a stab:

    You’re an achievement whore.

    Speculation as to more specific characteristics: You beat Metroid
    Fusion in under 2 hours so you could see Samus take off her suit because
    you herd shes hawt.

    Further speculation: You’d “rather be playing GameBoy emulators.”

  • Kyntha

    It has been mentioned already but; Chrono Trigger! :)

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You don’t think using a “camper” counts as camping. It’s tents or nothing.

  • DeMatthewBE

    And what about FIFA?

    • Mike Newell

      If you’re a FIFA-player, you’re an excellent lover they say.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You once crushed a man to death. Well, the crowd was pushing you and it sincerely was not your fault, but your foot was the last one to land on his head before he expired.

  • Don’t Hassel Das Hoff

    What about Advance Wars Dual Strike?

    Nice article, good to see how truly stupid some people are

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You close your eyes and imagine that your body is different sizes. You would be comfortable as a cube, you think. You would fit into places efficiently.

  • Anonymous

    Both of these;
    - Ace Attorney
    - Professor Layton

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You never hid behind the couch when the Daleks came on.

  • Benedict

    How about Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4? Alan Wake? Crash Bandicoot?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Pick one, O Likes-the-Smell-of-Pine-Needles.

  • listener

    Silent Hill..?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You have very small pupils and you collect dried flowers.

  • Dematchou

    I know a few people have asked, but… Silent Hill? Pretty pleaaaaaase. :)

  • Dematchou

    I know a few people have asked, but… Silent Hill? Pretty pleaaaaaase. :)

  • http://twitter.com/xFalleNxTearSx Pablo Leiva

    Unreal and Ragnarok online??

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You have a Panda of Sadness that chases you, and you can only fend him off by traveling in groups. This is why you’re so needy, always with someone else and yet paradoxically lonely.

  • Tehwildbud

    Hahaha vey funny. One thing I have to say though I love fallout but i can’t arch my left eyebrow… i can arch my right one though. Rofl how did this happen

  • herbal23

    Gears of war

  • Groovz

    Can you do one for ‘Worms’ series please

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Nice choice! You started an unofficial comedy club in your high school homeroom. That was your first step on the road to writing for SNL. Three seasons in, you wish you were still working the crowd in Room 247, where they really got you.

  • Unorthodox

    System Shock 2?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      That’s your favorite? You want a figurine of that Cloned Master Shake character from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

  • Captain Marvelous

    What about Earthbound/Mother series?

  • Gregory Schwall

    dark souls

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Despite all your rage, you are still just a rat in a cage.

  • Darthprozac

    Star Wars the Force Unleashed

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      So you think you can breakdance!

  • Brandonwagers

    Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You’ve got a bad case of game bleed, and you’d better start exercising and maybe doing some yoga so you don’t hurt yourself. Parkour is a legitimate hobby, you just have to know what the hell you’re doing.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You’ve got a bad case of game bleed, and you’d better start exercising and maybe doing some yoga so you don’t hurt yourself. Parkour is a legitimate hobby, you just have to know what the hell you’re doing.

  • Anonymous

    Mass Effect? Anyone, anyone?

    –edit– apparently I fail at reading comments sections.

  • Makithp

    What about Dragon Age: Origins and the Final Fantasy Series?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      DAO: You have the most muscles of anyone who plays RPGs, and yes I know that Vin Diesel is super into RPGs.

      Final Fantasy.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      DAO: You have the most muscles of anyone who plays RPGs, and yes I know that Vin Diesel is super into RPGs.

      Final Fantasy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=606220359 Andre Johnson

    WTF?! You guys left out HALO

    • http://twitter.com/tropetweeter Mac Elmore

      No, they didn’t. That’s the first one.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      It was the first one. Go back to AOL, do not collect $200.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      It was the first one. Go back to AOL, do not collect $200.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      It was the first one. Go back to AOL, do not collect $200.

  • Kotor

    Knights of the Old Republic

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      The more you look at spiders, the more you think they’re all mechanized.

  • Brandon Marshall

    My favorite is The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You’ve started thinking that anything that glows in real life is imbued with magic.

      • Brandon Marshall

        And if I had said I preferred the first Witcher game?

        • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

          You’ve gotten laid at a Renaissance Faire.

  • WeAreAllLanceUppercut

    Desktop Tower Defense: You wear a blackberry holster.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      YES. You have evolved past needing me. Please continue your presence here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1446847141 Bernard Santos

    What about FF series?

  • Yolean

    Uncharted!

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous
  • Leon

    What about Persona 4?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous
  • Huh?

    Uhhhh Final Fantasy? Wtf?

  • Guest

    What about Planescape: Torment?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You just like things that are mud. Your music, your games, your movies, your girlfriend who never brushes her teeth so she always smells like your last blowjob. Mud.

      • Guest

        I…have no idea what that means.  And that scares me :(.

        • Landlocked

          The only thing people seem to remember from Ps:T is digging in your own guts. That’s sad and disconcerting.

  • MrTroll

    Oooh! Do Hitman!

    • http://www.facebook.com/chrisfrueh Chris Frueh

      Do eeet!

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Nice choice!

      You are one cold bastard, dumping both girlfriends at the same time using each other and still holding onto most of your mutual friends. If I’m ever on your bad side, just warn me please, OK?

  • CanvasWolfDoll

    Rune Factory

    i can take the ridicule for loving the ‘harvest moon with a sword’ series above all else.
    probably…

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You prefer to grow your own herbs, and this year you’re gonna try a tomato plant too. And then your home-cooked dinners will get you laid.

  • Buyu

    The Longest Journey, please. :)

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You own equipment for urban spelunking.

  • DoctorPazuzu

    I thought it was a bit bullshit but I’ve always at least wanted to play piano [Half life]. Also my parents were already agnostic [Deus ex], and I’m a dude and I play Pokemon. Still, fun article.

  • http://www.youtube.com/cherubicwindigo Laura

    What about TES III: Morrowind?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You like eating ribbon candy, and you hate mumblecore.

      • http://www.youtube.com/cherubicwindigo Laura

        Those things might be true but I’ve never heard of either. Since I blindly trust your judgement, i will stay away from “mumblecore” and try to find this “ribbon candy” you speak of. Reading all the replies to your articles comments have been even funnier. Kudos!

  • http://twitter.com/imnumberQ Forest

    Max Payne?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You saw the Matrix sequels more than once. You even watched the DVD extras, but you pirated them because that made you feel badass.

  • Luke

    Hitman: Blood Money?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You’re liking Daniel Craig more and more.

  • ayxqp2

    MOTHER? :(

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      The bruises are still visible, but your shotgun will truly heal your wounds. The jocks will pay.

  • Ender Wiggin

    Fallout: You know how to arch your right eyebrow, but not your left  (oddly enough, correct)

  • http://profiles.google.com/bensthomas Ben Thomas

    What about Urban Terror, the free multiplayer FPS based on the Quake engine?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You base a lot of meals around lentils.

  • Dias_the_one

    final fantasy?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1208817016 Adam Smith

    Demon’s Souls/Dark Souls?

  • Butts

    This was awful. I sincerely hope you never write articles like this again.

  • Alondite

    Fire Emblem?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You know exactly how to get out of your building in case of an emergency.

  • http://twitter.com/wakkydude wakkydude

    Mario Kart?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Whoooooo’s a darling boy? Whooooo’s the cutest baby? You are! You are the cutest baby.

  • BigPizza

    Gauntlet: Dark Legacy?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Everything you own is from Wal-Mart. Dude, they don’t have a loyalty program. Sometimes you can maybe go somewhere else.

  • Cherl

    Darksiders.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      ALL HAIL YOU, FOR YOU APPROACH. YOUR STEED SNORTS AND THE PEOPLE TREMBLE. BEHOLD, YOU COME, AND THE GOO DOTH STICK IN EVERYBODY’S HAIR.

  • Jdschrimmer

    starcraft?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Fifth from the top, buddy.

  • Cholmes9320

    Resident evil

  • Chris1137

    Thank you for including Space Quest. Thank you.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Dooooon’t mess with it!

  • Justin12270

    Kingdom Hearts

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1795331502 Pedro Wagner

    Alan Wake?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      The owls are exactly what they seem, to you.

  • Alphashard

    King’s Quest, Gabriel Knight, and Myst. 

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Pick one, Ms. Dances-in-the-Rain-in-Underwear.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001816631122 Keith Renderman

    Ratchet and Clank series???
    Destroy all Humans series???
    Saints Row series???

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Pick one, booger-eater.

  • Knightofflowers

    Persona series?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous
  • Suikoman444

    Suikoden, wondering what they could come up with for this

  • Justin Kupec

    Anyone who has ever played skyrim will understand when I say there’s no way in HELL I’m wasting time on a novel.

  • Guest

    Alice?  (The original)

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You hand-drew tattoos on all your friends in school, and now that your “normal” career is getting dull, you think maybe you should go to art school and start doing tats for real.

  • http://z13.invisionfree.com/Broken_Future Zuiyo Maru

    Dragon Age?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Your favorite video game is reading Penny Arcade.

      • Fnordius

        Funny, my fave game at the moment is Panny Arcade: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness (1 & 2)

        • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

          You turned your entire fantasy baseball league into a D&D team, and they’re having the time of their lives and you’ve sold the movie rights to your last adventure.

  • SomeKindOfRing

    The Pokemon thing is so true.
    Plus annoying females wannabe gamers seem to get into it ‘ironically’ now.
    I’m a female and I can say this.

    Donkey Kong Country is my favorite- I don’t like either Offices (for specific reasons), but I do like Ricky Gervais (sometimes) and he made that thing. Plus he acts in the British one if I recall correctly.
    ALMOST. Almost.

    But yeah, I’m an elitist bastard if that’s what you’re were trying to imply.

    • SomeKindOfRing

      *bleh, typos. Go point them out. It’s 2am, ZZzz.

  • Isaac Robitaille

    How about SimCity? I’d also appreciate it if you could do Railroad Tycoon.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      SimCity: You got high marks in preschool for “plays well with others”, but that’s mostly because instead of getting in fights, you played quietly in your sandbox and didn’t mind when the other kids smashed your buildings down, because you could just pretend they were Godzilla.

      Railroad Tycoon: You don’t smoke cigars, but you love sticking a pretzel stick out the side of your mouth and nursing it.

  • Isaac Robitaille

    How about SimCity? I’d also appreciate it if you could do Railroad Tycoon.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=725136188 Wesley McKane

    Final Fantasy and Devil May Cry :)

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Final Fantasy.

      Devil May Cry: You assume other people know the meaning of your belt color in a martial art.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=725136188 Wesley McKane

    Also Dragon Quest and Golden Sun

  • http://twitter.com/AchronTimeless Achron Timeless

    Ok, 2 points on this:

    1. I can’t even fathom where you’d come up with this stuff. Nothing makes sense, it’s overly generalized, and frankly it comes across as an attempt to use video games as horoscopes. How anyone even bothered writing it without taking the time to say “hey, this article will both appeal only to, and completely alienate gamers” confounds me in ways I can’t begin to describe. This is the kind of tripe you’d have expected to see on someone’s geocities page back in the day rather than on a site purporting itself to be funny. I can also see you’ve recycled this idea since there’s a link at the top to what I assume is the exact same article except for blogs. Surely you could’ve figured out how horrible of an idea this was on the first attempt.

    2. Clearly you didn’t do any research on this. For instance, Sonic the Hedgehog fans eat their hotdogs with chili. If you’d watched the first US cartoon, you’d know that. ;)

  • http://twitter.com/agflimaa Abraham Gutemberg

    Need For Speed (All of the serie)

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You decorate your dorm room with posters of models with clothes on. You drink beers with twist-off bottlecaps.

  • Ivan Bezdomny

    I almost dread to ask, but… Killer7.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Your girlfriend is creeped out by how turned on you got when she cut herself cooking. Still, that was a damn good banging you gave her on the kitchen counter.

      • ejr

        this is the best one.

  • Kipp2k

    Shadow of the Colossus

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You miss wooden playgrounds. What’s with all this plastic bullshit?

  • Party Dog

    Almost all of these make no fucking sense.

  • Disco

    Metroid and Red Dead Redemption, please!  :)

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Metroid.

      Surprised you’re the first to mention RDR!

      Red Dead Redemption: You shot a man just to watch him die, but not in Reno, it was in this dinky town you can’t find again, where the HELL is that town? You know you left a body there to mark the trail…

  • Anonymous

    So how about Dynasty Warriors? Does it mean I’m Jim Sterling?

  • nitro

    splinter cell?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You don’t believe any conspiracy theories, but you research the hell out of each one you hear of, because you’d always love one to be true. Hell, one of them probably is true, but how would you ever find out?

  • http://www.facebook.com/NullifyMyLife Sara Pourdana

    This is complete bullshit, and this is coming from a gamer girl.

    • Anonymous

      I take it you don’t know what site this is?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Oh, you’d probably have to be a guy to understand.

  • Khx7

    Where’s Monster Hunter?

  • Wo

    Power Stone

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      It’s embarrassing yet impressive that you got this good at chess while still calling the knights “horsies”.

  • http://twitter.com/terrytorres Terry Torres

    Parappa the Rapper??

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You’re the coolest parent. Your kids have high self-esteem and they won’t waste their liberal arts degrees.

  • Fay Keemale

    If this was supposed to be funny it failed.
    If this was supposed to be all in good fun, it shouldnt have mentioned genders.
    If this was supposed to make sense… at all… it needs more explanation. 

    Bejeweled is true. 

  • Exxos

    Suikoden III?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      When you sit still for too long, you start hallucinating that your head can grow and shrink at will.

  • Fnordius

    Missing my fave game: Kingdom of Loathing. 

    Although it’s starting to slip to #2: Glitch is now starting to overtake it.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Oh, nice one!

      Kingdom of Loathing: You attend campy midnight screenings.

  • Laptitepoch51

    What about God of War trilogy ??

  • Finesense

    Riven and Beyond Good and Evil

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Riven: Your favorite album is “Dark Side of the Moon”.

      Beyond Good and Evil: You prefer vacations with a slight risk of jail time.

  • TomLikesGuitar

    Some of this is REALLY phoned in.

    If this was shorter it could have been a lot funnier.

  • http://www.hartzdesign.com Michelle Hartz

    Dance Central?

    Lego series (Lego Batman, Lego Indiana Jones, etc.)?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Dance Central: You go to clubs, and you know how to get in, which to me basically means you’re a wizard, but with a totally useless spellset.

      Lego series: You don’t like scary movies, but you like cartoons with a scary bad guy.

  • http://profiles.google.com/thegneech John Robey

    Hmm. Wing Commander?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You keep around all these pictures of your dead dog and it’s creepy and it’s time to get a new puppy.

  • http://twitter.com/ank_jones Anthony Ank Jones

    What, so we shouldn’t have our personality wrapped up in our favorite game?

  • Alexspivey

    Resistance fall of man?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Every time you go to sleep, you pray for nightmares. Nightmares are a blast.

  • http://twitter.com/steflon Stefan Gerrish

    awww no Jet Set Radio (note it says ‘Set’ not bloody ‘Grind’)

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Oh my god, move back to Japan and get back on that nicotine drink that Schwarzenegger used to pitch. Also, Banksy is a hack.

  • Fred

    What about Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Your sexual style is flashy and sexy, but after a while you’re just pounding with nothing new, and your finish ain’t nothing to write home about.

  • alfredjf

    It seems you haven’t played any of those games

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      I’ve played every game, ever. Name one.

  • Chandra

    The Tropico series. You know, with the Caribbean dictator.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You like gathering all the flour in your kitchen and pretending it’s your personal mountain of cocaine. And then you pretend to gun down the cat and all the flowers in the windowbox while you guffaw.

      • Chandra

        Accurate.

  • Motoxic

    I have to know. Silent Hill!

  • Yakumo Kobe

    missing Descent, Unreal Tournament, Bombuzal, Another World, Armour Geddon…

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Pick one, broncess.

  • AJ

    Grim Fandango?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      How did no one ask this one before?

      Grim Fandango: You have a cigarette holder holder for your cigarette holder, and you can sink an eightball with it (in billiards and in drug slang).

      • AJ

        I don’t even smoke, but I like to think if I did, that would be true. Thank you.

  • Koosemose

    I just thought this was really bizarre and slightly dumb… til I got to my favorite game and my sister’s … now I’m looking for spy cameras

  • Scott64bt

    Dragon Age series?

  • http://twitter.com/michelliebel Michelle

    No LOTRO? Sad.

  • Hoshi

    Harvest Moon

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You like keeping track of how long your supply of each grocery item will last and planning your trips to the store. You have a batch of yeast going, and some kombucha brewing at a friend’s house.

  • stuff

    what about godhand?
    densha de go too. in b4 “you love japan”

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Godhand: You want more wrestlers to start movie careers.

      Densha de go: Your hobby is carefully arranging your everyday possessions.

  • leo

    what about Gears of War?!

  • Electric Maenad

    Tail of the Sun

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You’re building a giant ball of foil in your bedroom. It’s already taller than you.

  • Stardamage

    Runescape?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Good sir, you hath slain many bugs in thine apartment, but hiring a college freshman to sing thine praises in the streets wast going a bit too farth.

  • kimbo

    tales of vesparia?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Tales of Vesperia: You wear Velcro shoes.

  • kimbo

    CHRONO TRIGGER?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You’d like to play a game based on the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

  • Entropy Daemon

    Sam & Max

  • SnyperWolf

    This is awesome!

    How about Digital Devil Saga?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You’d rather go to hell than purgatory.

  • http://www.semblanceofsanity.com Bryan

    Dragon Age or Mass Effect?

  • Guest

    Lord of The Rings Online?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You always wanted to go to the woods in C.S. Lewis’s The Magician’s Nephew and jump into all the other pools.

  • sjb351

    I can’t believe you forgot Doom and Quake. Although I hate Quake. Too much of that looking-up nonsense. Adding dimensions to a game is just an expression, you game-designing bastards!
    But I digress.

    For me: Doom, Galaga, and North & South.

    And no cheating by simply calling me old. That much is obvious.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Jesus, you’re demanding. Pick one, Mr. “I think I know all about the founding fathers because I read a Gore Vidal novel”.

  • afan21

    Threads of Fate?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Christ, how many JRPGs can you people ask about? Threads of Fate: You have unresolved parental issues that you take out on your sexual partners.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Orly-Quiroga/100000319681927 Orly Quiroga

    My favorite game above all, is Zelda, but I dont think your description suits me pretty well, but never mind about that, I want to ask, what about “God of War”??? it isnt in the list, neither in the comments…

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      God of War: You don’t start brawls by throwing punches any more. You walk into the right place and everyone just starts fighting each other in hopes that it’ll keep you from fighting them.

  • Malvey

    Xenogears?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Oh god, just pick one of the 500 other JRPG stereotypes I gave. That’s right, I’m Xenophobic.

  • http://www.facebook.com/OMGMei Satoki Hotaru

    What about Mabinogi? Final Fantasy? Legend of Dragoon?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Mabinogi: You should learn Welsh.

      Legend of Dragoon: Oh god I can’t even do another JRPG.

      Final Fantasy.

  • Gyrick

    Mine is Final Fantasy IV.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You put crystals and shit in your windows.

  • http://twitter.com/Airy_El Airy

    Harvest Moon

  • Benjamin Eugene NElson

    Step one, need to write an article for gaming site.
    Step two, Panic because you’re out of time.
    Step three, slap some prototypical crap about various games down and call it a night.
    Step four, ????
    Step five, profit.

  • Fyiad

    Do Bastion.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous
  • http://twitter.com/Airy_El Airy

    Thats my second favorite but my parents bought me a car and I never drove it.

  • cassuduh

    How would one properly use the Earthworm Jim phrase?
    “Hey, did you know David Duchovny is Garth Brooks’ nephew?”
    “Her?”
    “No, not her.”

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Go watch Arrested Development.

      • cassuduh

        ooooh! thanks dude.

  • darko

    Alan Wake
    Prototype

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Alan Wake.

      Prototype: Your parents keep asking you why you’re so angry all the time.

      • darko

        LOL. The owls?

        But the Prototype one is kinda true, albeit I tend to hide my anger rather well. Haha!

  • Gorgousegrl

    What about League of Legends… Husband asked, not me….

  • 47

    Hitman?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous
  • http://twitter.com/serephita Serephita

    Final Fantasy 7.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Your family history is basically the Godfather trilogy.

  • Tao Saur

    I do like cooking but not baking! Actually, I don’t mind baking, but I’m much more apt to cook.

  • Ratchet

    Ratchet and Clank?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You invented Calvinball.

  • http://www.facebook.com/charlie.oconor Charlie OConor

    fifa 12

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      You wear shirts to represent men paid millions to say they’re from certain parts of the country.

  • A B

    I don’t know what to say. You got me. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/richard.levitski Richard Gerald Levitski III

    Dead Space?

  • Tkimbell13

    assassin’s creed?

  • Aaron Easler

    Well..very accurate about both NBA Jam AND sonic the hedgehog. Love pop..hate ketchup…gimme one for crash bandicoot

  • harlamguy

    This is so wrong.  Plus you leave some important series out such as Fire Emblem and Final Fantasty.

  • Mark Question

    These are pretty funny. If you’re still taking comment suggestions, I’m way too obsessed with Thief II: The Metal Age.

    Also, if it’s not too much trouble, I’d love to know what you’d say about Heroes Of Might & Magic.

  • Try Again.

    This is terrible. You just posted a video game name, then a random phrase that doesn’t pertain to anything about the games culture…

    Try again pal. Game over.

  • CaptainBooshi

    How about Dance Dance Revolution?

  • Vygtfgvhvbhkh

    skate

  • http://www.facebook.com/J03y.P Joey Porygon Papan

    I rally liek Street Fighter and this maks perfect sens XD

  • Hx_zone

    Worms world party?

  • Vasco B Bernardo

    Football Manager!!

  • Optimus is prime

    What About Forza Motersports 4??

  • Jaredjlee89

    Boarderlands

  • Agraila

     Fable

  • http://www.facebook.com/methodicalmadness Tom Lindeman

    I don’t like angry birds much, but If you don’t count HIMYM as a smart sitcom then you’re just wrong. Feel free to go away any time.

    EDIT: I should clarify that I’m pretty sure this is a joke, and most of them made me laugh. I just compulsively feel the need to support CBS’s only good sitcom whenever possible.

    • Jessy Strohmeyer

       In my opinion HIMYM is the “smart sitcom” and the other two are just crap.

      • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

        You probably think “Curb Your Enthusiasm” has no jokes.

  • BTP

    Alot of these apply to me. Too bad my favorite series doesn’t.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tanya-Burgos/100001053902409 Tanya Burgos

    All it’s missing is DDR. :p

  • guest

    Earthbound?

  • Fff

    max payne?

  • Lord Farquot

    how the freaking heck did you know i could only arch my right eyebrow?

  • http://www.facebook.com/JadeDruid Robin Sara Battiste

    Fallout: You know how to arch your right eyebrow, but not your left.

    Does it count if I can arch my LEFT eyebrow and not my right?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Yes! But it means you like Fallout: New Vegas.

  • Cthulhu

    this sucks

  • Dick

    Pretty much nailed it, I match all my games. 

  • Rufus

    No Final Fantasy?  Srsly? 

  • http://twitter.com/MichaelVandiver Michael A. Vandiver

    EvE Online

  • danny

    skate.

  • Utterfree1998

    Little Big Planet

  • Riri

    It’s not my favorite, but I’d love to hear about Parasite Eve

  • Riri

    It’s not my favorite, but I’d like to hear about Parasite Eve. (Hoping this isn’t a double post, dunno if it went through the first time.

  • kurlyfoot

    Crysis? Its not too popular but the few of us that play are diehard fans.

  • Bencamenzuli

    Kingdom Hearts?

  • htrmonroe

    you forgot call of duty

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      No, I didn’t.

  • Guest

    this doesn’t make any sense at all

  • http://alyssapmperfect.blogspot.com/ Alyssa Day

    These are terrible.

  • miike

    I’m insulted “Skyrim” is there instead of the Elder Scrolls! Skyrim isn’t a series! Slightly insulted Timesplitters wasn’t included, but that’s understandable.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Shit, why weren’t you consulted?

  • Beckduston

    This list is bad and you should feel bad

  • Mmstang95

    This makes F-ZERO sense.   

    (see what i did there?)

    No seriously this sucks astroids

  • http://milano.bbakeca.com/bakeca-donna-cerca-uomo/milano-1 Donne Milano

     Great post…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1700247449 Terra TwilightSparkle Pierce

    What if you are an even 3 way split between Diablo 2 + Fable 1, 2, & 3, + expansions + Dragon Age 1 & 2 plus expansions….with a major thing for Felicia Day and Wil Wheaton, and totally want to marry Nathan Fillion….what does that say about a person?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      It says lay off on reading PVP.

  • Biovore13

    mass effect?
     

  • poop

    Mine’s Fable. It’s been asked about a couple times on here but you haven’t done one. :c

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      Every time someone mentions a Disney movie, you tell them the entire unexpurgated Grimm Brothers version.

  • http://twitter.com/ThePriss April Coble

    Yes. Totally. Well, mostly. I don’t understand how golf is a game in the first place (unless it was to amuse drunken dwarves), and I can arch both eyebrows. But… in my defense, I also prefer Diet Dr Pepper over mountain dew.

  • Clayton Hunt

    I have not read Guns Germs and Steel

  • alphabet

    FLOW/FLOWER/JOURNEY/thatgamecompany

  • JebK

    Kerbal Space Program.

  • Psylynn

     This was cute. C:

  • Fhskrk

    Champions of Norrath!!!!!!!!!!!!  (and don’t say, “refer to diablo.”)  ;p

  • Roguedisciple

    They were prety much all spot on. I wonder why there’s not a Final Fantasy entry though??

  • stimpy

    this is a random one but what about Elite Beat Agents

  • Anonymous

    Shinobi?

    Final Fight?

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/FYKMF6JFCMZI7HW644OUO6LTIA Mark F

    A few of my favorites are on here, and the are EERILY accurate.

  • Deathvoid22

    Saint’s Row?

  • Kovirobi

    S.T.A.L.K.E.R. franchise? Or No One Lives Forever? Thank you!

  • Some Guy

    dafuq am i reading?

  • Rhotomago

    a lot of these were suprisingly spot on

  • fataldisease

    Resident Evil

  • Marsenteos

    It’s so true, it’s scary.

  • lol

    WTF my favorite game is half life and i play piano

  • sdn

    What if you don’t play any video games?

  • TonyTheFish

    Legend of zelda?

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