Slacktory

RIP Steve Jobs

There was plenty of respectful mourning on Twitter last night. But there were also jokes. Be warned, you’ll be offended by some of these. Most are respectful but a few are… irreverent. We teach the controversy!

https://twitter.com/#!/vhata/status/121941307303268353

http://twitter.com/#!/Glinner/status/121786506468802560

http://twitter.com/#!/redrabbit/status/121742477068738561

http://twitter.com/#!/gruber/status/121941987325771776

http://twitter.com/#!/phyllisstein/status/121813492553625600

http://twitter.com/#!/Tinkerbell_/status/121922477910802433

https://twitter.com/#!/baby_morrissey/status/121765393315528704

https://twitter.com/#!/dogboner/status/121745461160853504

https://twitter.com/#!/admiral_baby/status/121754337704808449

https://twitter.com/#!/doctor_ass/status/121969034865553409

https://twitter.com/#!/EricDSnider/status/121733069832073216

https://twitter.com/joeschmitt/status/121950523543924736

And the “best unintentional joke” award:

https://twitter.com/#!/dlsglitterswagg/status/121734635158913024

Now go see the worst jokes about Jobs’s death, or 16 good jokes about Jobs’s retirement.

Illustration: Wired.com

  • http://twitter.com/firemcghee alex mcghee

    I heard Steve Jobs had to jail-break his casket because the cemetery didn’t have the right service for his funeral.

  • Imonto_logical

    news just in, Apple shares rise as the missing bite is coughed up by jobs loss

    • Pooboy69

      What did Steve Jobs see when his life flashed before his eyes?

      Nothing! Apple doesn’t support flash!

  • http://www.facebook.com/CarpetCleaning Richie Rich-Moore

    If he goes to Heaven will he rename it to iHeaven?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      THAT’S NOT EVEN A JOKE. YOU JUST PUT “I” IN FRONT OF A WORD.

      • Lock

        iWas thinking the same thing…

    • Paulluedtke

      Could be, but I doubt he’ll be given the option to be iGod.

  • http://www.facebook.com/CarpetCleaning Richie Rich-Moore

    Will God make him stay away from the “APPLE”?

    • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

      That doesn’t make any sense, the biblical apple was on Earth, not Heaven.

      • Shwan

        Nick, shut up

      • Paulluedtke

        Well, if you’re talking about Genesis, the forbidden fruit was not an Apple, it was just forbidden (that’s all we know about it except that it looked really good and was good as food.  Sorry to rain on your party.

        • http://toomuchnick.com Anonymous

          We also know it didn’t exist! So that helps.

          • Mr. ButtMad

            LOL retracts after being told he is retarded. Nice butthurt bro

  • John T

    Fear not folks. Steve jobs will return as “iSteve”, all dressed in raiment of white anodized aluminum.

    Hey, its a better name than “Steve The White”. What, you think he’s Gandalf?

  • Prdrummer13

    Jobs arrives at the pearly gates carrying a bag. St. Peter asks, “Whatcha got there, Steve?” Jobs says, “The iPhone 5.” St. Peter replies, “Come on in.”

  • Tiggerplease

    Maybe he just needs someone to hold down the power button while holding the up volume button

  • Tony Beattie

    Steve Jobs walks in to a bar in heaven, says to the bartender, “Give me a beer, I thought I’d never get in.” The barman asks “was it something to do with ipods corrupting the youth of the world?” “No” says Jobs in between mouthfuls of beer,”gates… stopped… me…” The barman says “I didn’t know he had so much influence up here”! Jobs replies “don’t be silly, St. Peter was on a break, he took the keys with him!”

  • http://twitter.com/textjokes angus funnyman

    Dam recession, no JOBS at apple!

  • http://twitter.com/textjokes angus funnyman

    Steve jobs is not dead ! just Obsolete, look out for the new steve jobs 5.0 out around xmas time

  • A A

    Steve Jobs is dead, but don’t worry.  I’m sure he has 3 more rap albums left in him.

    • Henry Rudyard

      Steve Jobs isn’t dead – he’s just using Ping.

  • Gerer

    Millions of people better than Steve Jobs have died and nobody cared.  

     

    Apple is a fashion brand like Prada.
    Apple did not “innovate”, they simply made their own versions
    of technology already invented by other people, and people bought the Apple
    branded stuff because of the Apple name.
    What was Apple first at?  What
    about the Commodore PET, Xerox PARC and Alto, GEOS graphical user interface,
    Amiga, Atari ST, Diamond Rio MP3 player, Palm Pilot, Blackberry, HP iPaq,
    Microsoft Tablet PC, etc., etc., etc.?

     

    Steve Jobs was not an engineer and did not even know how to write a
    computer program.  Where was his
    genius?  Apple fired him in 1985 because
    he was such a jerk and a bad businessman.
    Even Apple products were not created by Steve Jobs, but by actual
    engineers such as Steve Wozniak, who Steve Jobs stabbed in the back.

    • Henry Rudyard

      “Millions of people better than Steve Jobs have died and nobody cared.”

      Name 999,999.

    • http://twitter.com/AlanComek Alan Abdollahzadeh

      I am an Apple hater.
      You are still a fucking idiot.

  • Nate

    Instead of the “Too soon edition” Can you make it “Too Zune Edition” lawl

  • Camster3

    Steve jobs last meal was Apple Crumble

  • Henry Rudyard

    I heard he had pancreatic cancer…

    PC killed him.

  • Alex

    Their’s no App for that…

    • pedant

      cunt speil?

  • TerraNoDUH

    Sigh…gone in a “Flash”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ja-Ggerbeato/100000340146834 Ja Ggerbeato

    this is the worst website i have ever been on. its horrible! i don’t … want to be on here anymore. good luck

  • Dda Sadasj

    rest in pc

    Have u guys heard?
     Steve lost his jobs.

  • Lock

    Apple are still employing people, despite rumours there were ‘no more Jobs’…

  • Cathalph

    wats worse than biting into an apple and finding half of steve jobs? pancreatic cancer

  • Howbadouwannit

    10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash, now we have no jobs, no hope and no cash………….

  • jokesssss

    I guess an Apple a day didn’t keep the doctor away…

    • http://www.facebook.com/akkleptos Fer Vázquez

      *sunglasses on*
      “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH”

  • Harlequin

    :(  so sad..
    I’ll Miss YOU

    iPhone
    iPod
    iPad
    iMac
    Mac-Donals
    Mac cosmetics
    Blow-JOBS
    etc..  :(

  • Markequark

    Hey, let’s try and keep the Steve Jobs jokes a little more PC.

  • Jacky Xue

    He said idied, I said isad, apple said we still got ipad.
     

  • Williamtsuitsui

    Dont worry. I will take care of Steve.

    God

    Sent from my iPad

  • Anonymous

    Hope he brought his Jesus phone

  • Aneum

    RIP Steve. In the 1980s Steve Jobs & Wozniack were foremost in the
    wave of pioneers who democratised computing. Before, computers were big
    expensive things that only big corps owned. With Bill Gates and others
    they eventually enabled computers to be universal. IMHO his latter
    contributions to tech were more to do with fashion, technology packaging
    & business models, but still moved things forward.
    http://www.iphonefamily.net

  • Jbalistic

    When everyone at Apple found out about Steve Jobs death they cried their “I’s” out

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