I just followed Jeffrey Raymond on Twitter. Let’s make it the day that everyone did that.
Lotta wank jokes in here. I like the wank jokes.
My left hand is probably super stoked he doesn’t have to touch my dick all the time.
The Kool-Aid guy running through the Berlin Wall would have been the most epic and thirst quenching event in history
“What the FUCK is going on?!?!?” – the Moon (July 21, 1969)
I get offended when you guys use the word “cunt” in your tweets because my mom is one of those.
I’m a pretty normal guy except for that whole “love getting my pee hole fingered” thing.
I could feed a child for a dollar a day but that’s how much this girl at work charges me to see her tits. Go eat some bugs or something.
My family doesn’t say grace before meals, we prefer to say Nancy Grace. Then we yell at one another and give each other awful haircuts.
Most dogs go to Heaven. Big Dogs™ go to Goodwill.
I bet plants were all excited to watch “Roots” and then were immediately disappointed.
Arm wrestling is a great way to prove how much you masturbate.
If my hands ever smell REALLY good it’s because I just did something disgusting.
“Fuck it.” – guy in charge of naming ‘hot sauce’